The Friends We Keep

But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t risk having anyone feel the way she had. It had hurt too much. What if her parents hadn’t acted the way they had because Morgan was a difficult, demanding kid? What if it had been because, in the end, it was easier to love Morgan?

Hayley supposed that was at the heart of it. The fear that if she adopted she might find out that she really hadn’t been loved simply by virtue of not truly being theirs. What if she, too, couldn’t love a child she adopted? If she didn’t know for sure, she could maintain the illusion, but if she found out that horrible truth, she risked losing everything.

She closed the scrapbook and placed it on the floor next to her, then curled up in the sun and closed her eyes. She hurt all over. She was so very tired, and she was alone. There was no possible way out of this, she thought sadly. No happy ending. Just long, lonely days and the looming possibility that she would never, ever have a child of her own.

*

Tyler practically danced from the car to the entrance of the hotel. “Can we get another copy of the book?” he asked. “Do you think Jairus will remember me? Can I have his autograph?”

Nicole held his hand as they went through the double glass doors. “Yes, yes and yes,” she teased. “But first we have to find out where we’re going.”

One of the bellmen approached. “You’re here for the signing?” he asked. “The ballroom is that way.” He pointed.

Nicole pulled tickets out of her bag. “We’re here for the pre-event,” she said. “In the Blue Pacific Room.”

“That way.” He pointed to the left. “Follow the signs. You’ll see a long line. You can ignore that and keep going.”

“Thanks.”

Nicole followed his instructions, then saw the arrows that pointed her in the right direction. At the next corner they saw the long line of families waiting to get into the signing.

There had to be a hundred people there, she thought, looking at all the kids holding Brad the Dragon books and dolls. There were tweens and toddlers and every age in between. It seemed that business in Brad’s world was very, very good.

“Whoa.” Tyler clutched his Brad stuffed animal more tightly. “That’s a lot of people.”

“It is. Come on, big guy. We have a party to get to.”

As promised, Jairus had sent over VIP tickets. The start time for that event was an hour before the signing. Nicole was curious as to what would happen. Did he speak at both functions? Circulate? Well, not at the second one, she thought. Not with a hundred people already in line.

She and Tyler found the Blue Pacific Room. Two hotel employees stood at the entrance.

“Your tickets, please,” a young woman said with a smile.

Nicole held them out.

The man winked at Tyler. “Excited to meet Jairus?”

“I’ve met him. He came to my summer camp and signed a book for me.”

“You’re a lucky guy.”

“I know.”

The woman handed Nicole back her tickets. “Have fun,” she said, as she held open the door.

Nicole took Tyler’s hand again. They stepped into a big, open room decorated in all things B the D. There were balloons, streamers, piles of books and every possible kind of merchandise. She would guess there were about forty people milling about. An equal number of adults and children. Some of the kids were in wheelchairs. There was a little girl on crutches.

A volunteer in an I Love Brad T-shirt came over with a big tote bag. He handed it to Tyler.

“You can take one of everything,” the teen said with a grin. “There’s a buffet over there, and a soda fountain on the back wall. Jairus will be out in about fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you,” Nicole murmured, blown away by the sheer proliferation of goodies for the kids.

She and Tyler went from table to table, collecting his gifts. One of the mothers came up and greeted her.

“You look shell-shocked,” she said with a laugh. “Your first time?”

“Yes. We had no idea.”

“I know. Jairus and his publisher throw a party like this every time he has a book out. It’s pretty amazing. I’m Veronica.”

“Nicole.” She pointed to where Tyler was studying a Brad the Dragon DVD. “That’s Tyler.”

Veronica waved to the other side of the room. “My husband is with our son. Mason doesn’t do well in crowds. He’s autistic. But wow, does he love Brad. This is our third year.”

“How did you find out about this?” Nicole asked.

“One of Mason’s therapists contacted the publicity firm the publisher uses and nominated him. Jairus has always supported special-needs kids. His foundation is very generous financially, but he does this personally. I’ve heard rumors that he had a family member with special needs, but he doesn’t talk about it much.” Veronica looked at Tyler. “Your son wasn’t nominated by his doctor?”