“Guys like you,” I snap without thought. Instantly, I’m horrified that I’ve spoken so crassly to my own father.
Dad freezes, and his gaze doesn’t waver. “Yeah, Ivy. Guys like me. I loved your mother with all my heart. And I cheated on her constantly. Didn’t even consider it cheating, to tell you the truth. Thought of it as my due for being a star.”
Cringing, I look away, not willing to face him when he’s talking about hurting my mother.
Maybe he knows, because his tone goes soft. “I regret the man who I was. But it doesn’t take away the reality of this life. Have you any idea how many wives and girlfriends I’ve had to handle because one of my guys has done something stupid with some young piece of ass? Too many, Ivy. I see that bone-deep hurt in those women’s eyes, and their resolve to just ignore these indiscretions, and—”
“Okay, Dad,” I all but wail. “I get it. I know.” My jaw locks as I turn to him, and it takes effort to speak. “I’ve lived this life too. But I refuse to judge Gray by what others have done.”
Dad gives an expansive sigh. “For Christ’s sake, he already fools around so much there are Tumblrs devoted to his castoffs. One search on him is a PR nightmare of party pictures and half-naked women.”
Reason number one I have never Googled Gray. I ignore the thick sludge of jealousy pushing through my veins. “We’re just friends,” I insist, my tone rising. “How many times do I have to say this?”
His response is a level look full of skepticism. “For argument’s sake, let’s say this friendship grows into something more.” Dad raises a hand when I open my mouth to protest. “Hypothetical here, Ivy. What happens when it all goes south? You think he’ll want to work with me anymore?”
Like that, I go utterly cold, then flush white-hot. For a moment, I can’t make my mouth work. “This is about you.” In a fog, I stand, my fists clenching. “You don’t give a shit about me—”
“Watch your mouth.”
“No. You sit here putting all sorts of unwarranted fears in my head, and it’s all because you’re afraid of losing Gray as a client!”
Dad stands as well, and the edges of his mouth go white. I brace myself for the explosion, knowing firsthand just how loud Dad can yell when he’s pissed. Bring it on. I’m pissed too. But it doesn’t happen. No, his reaction is worse because he deflates. His wide shoulders wilt on a sigh as he sets his hands low on his hips and looks down.
“I need Grayson.” It’s almost a whisper. “There are things… Business isn’t what it used to be. Guys…they’re going to big-name firms. Salary caps, scandals, bad PR. It’s all taking a toll.”
A painful lump fills my throat. Dad has never talked to me like this. In all honesty, I don’t want to hear it. I used to think of him as Batman—questionable tactics, but on the whole, unbeatable, enduring. I cannot think of him as less.
“We’re just friends,” I whisper, as if saying it enough will somehow protect me from messing things up.
Absently, Dad nods. “Whatever you want to tell yourself, kid.”
His flippancy has me grinding my teeth. I hate him just now for manipulating me. For putting Gray in the middle. And Dad sees it in my expression. He blanches, apparently shocked. “Ivy… It might not look like it, but I am always on your side. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
* * *
Gray
My nerves are a twitchy mess. I keep thinking of the look in Mac’s eyes when, like an idiot, I sprawled on top of her. What would have happened if I had kissed her? She’d been…receptive. Hadn’t she? I’d wanted to. I’d never wanted to do something so badly in my life.