IvyMac: I was walking down Jermyn Street today. Saw a guy in a bright pink suit, very flash. Thinking of buying you one to match the car. You could make a whole pink power statement.
GrayG: Great! But I’m pretty sure that’d have to be custom made. Extra-long, too. I dress left, btw.
IvyMac: Is it just me, or do you mention one of your body parts in every convo we have?
GrayG: You’re the one who brought up my nuts last time.
IvyMac: Only in regards to kicking them.
GrayG: But you’re thinking of my nuts. That’s the important part. ;-)
IvyMac: Sure I am, Cupcake. pats cheek keep dreaming the dream.
GrayG: I knew it!!! You want me bad. It’s okay, all women do.
IvyMac: Right.
A bit later…
IvyMac: Why are you borrowing my car, anyway? I find it hard to believe you don’t have your own. Is it in the shop? For-like-ever?
GrayG: My best bud Drew (he’s our QB) broke his leg. His car has a stick shift. My truck is auto. So I lent him mine and borrowed…The Pink Nightmare.
IvyMac: Gray. That’s really nice of you.
GrayG: Told you I was sweet.
IvyMac: You actually are. Totally sweet.
GrayG: Now you’re just embarrassing me. I lied. I’m a hardened thug. For realz.
IvyMac: Aw, Cupcake.
IvyMac: Gray?
IvyMac: Hello?
IvyMac: Fine, you’re a stone-cold killa. Happy?
GrayG: Yes. Although I’d prefer lady killa.
IvyMac: How about Sir Fucksalot?
GrayG: Hi-larious! Really. Night, Special Sauce.
IvyMac: Night, G-Man. ;-*
Several text exchanges after that…
GrayG: I’m bored. Talk to me. Again. Heh. Heh.
IvyMac: Soup has got to be the best thing ever. It’s an entire meal in a bowl! But in hot liquid form.
GrayG: Hot liquid form…? Unh. I’m pretty sure you’re my dream girl, Ivy Mac. Or did someone tell you that soup was my favorite meal?
IvyMac: You love soup too?!? Soup-lovers’ fist bump! Booyah!
GrayG: Booyah! And, baby, I make the best soup you’ll ever taste.
IvyMac: Oooh, talk to me, Grayson. Just. Like. That.
GrayG: Marry me, Mac.
IvyMac: Okay, but only for the soup.
A few minutes later…
GrayG: Why is six scared of seven?
IvyMac: Why?
GrayG: Because seven “ate” nine.
IvyMac: Hur! How do you count cows?
GrayG: How?
IvyMac: With a cowculator.
GrayG: So awesomely bad. I think you have to marry me now. No one else likes my jokes.
IvyMac: Good to know my bad taste in jokes is a selling point.
GrayG: It’s fucking sexy. I’m actually sporting wood.
GrayG: Mac?
GrayG: Hey, I was kidding. I’m not trying to hit on you, I swear.
GrayG: Mac?!?
IvyMac: I’m here. Sorry! I’m on the tube. Lost you in a tunnel.
GrayG: Okay. Cool. Got worried.
IvyMac: Naw. I know you were just being you.
GrayG: That’s me, always joking. Gotta head out to practice. Txt U when I’m done.
Later that day…
IvyMac: I spent the entire morning baking bread and thinking about your name.
GrayG: My name? Honey, if you’re going to think about me, concentrate on my gigantic…hands. Magic hands, baby. The things I can do with these hands are mind-boggling.
IvyMac: Like palm balls all day long?
GrayG: >:-(
IvyMac: Heh. Heh. Your name is way more interesting than your penchant for ball handling.
GrayG: Har. Gray Grayson is a special kind of torture to inflict on a kid. What can I say? My mom was reading The Pelican Brief right before I was born. Decided to name me after the hero Gray Grantham. No one could change her mind. I used to hate it. But now I love it because she picked a name she loved.
IvyMac: It’s a cool name. Bounces in my head: Gray-Grayson. Gray-Grayson!
GrayG: Hands, Mac. Think about the hands.
IvyMac: Gray-Grayson, grabbing balls with his big, strong hands…!
IvyMac: Hello?
IvyMac: Hello?
IvyMac: Spoilsport.
And a few hours after that…
IvyMac: I can’t sleep. Talk to me.