I mentally scroll through the activities Adam and I have done together: a vet visit, puppy training, a random run-in at the grocery store. None of them can be twisted into something romantic.
“We haven’t done any serious dates,” I reply, confident I’m not really telling a lie. “Just little things.”
She hums, and I finally work up the courage to glance up her way. She’s eyeing me with suspicion; of course she is. She can probably sniff a lie from a mile away after spending all day, every day with kindergarteners.
“Adam was hesitant about bringing you today,” she continues. “I think he was worried we’d scare you off.”
I bark out a laugh before I can help myself. This, of course, only makes her more suspicious, but I’m quick to cover my tracks. “No, it’s not that. He probably just didn’t want to introduce me to his family yet. Y’know, some women might read too much into it.”
She tilts her head, her potato salad long forgotten. I’m her new project. “Something tells me you aren’t one of those women.”
I shake my head. “Definitely not.”
“Something also tells me you and Adam aren’t dating.”
She says it just like that, like she’s commenting on the color of the sky.
I feign utter shock. “What? Of course we are!”
She smiles, proud to have found her mark. “No. I was pestering Adam about moving on the other day and he thought he’d get one over on me if he brought someone to the barbecue.”
“No. No, umm…he and I—we have been seeing each other.” I’m a stammering mess and it’s all Adam’s fault. He dropped this mission on me this morning. I had no time to prepare, no time to wrap my head around my character. What are her motives? Her likes? Dislikes? I’m supposed to be playing his leading lady, and he’ll probably renege on the agreement if I’m not convincing.
“It’s all right, I won’t let him know that I know.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, willing the ground to open up at my feet. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t feel comfortable with the plan, but he didn’t give me much choice.”
At that, she seems alarmed. “Did he threaten you?”
“No! No. He actually, um, agreed to be one of my clients at the agency if I pretended to be his girlfriend today.”
His mom laughs—cracks up, in fact. She has to press her hand to her chest and I swear she’s about to keel over from amusement. “Oh this is too good. Too good.”
“Wh—What’s too good?”
She finally gets ahold of her laughter and then she leans forward, whispering to me conspiratorially. “It’s obvious, isn’t it? If this is just one big act for him, we just have to flip the script.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ADAM
The day is going better than I could have imagined. Madeleine is playing her part to a T, my mom and sister-in-law are half in love with her already, and my nieces are completely enamored by Mouse. I sit back in my lawn chair, staring out at the scene before me, trying not to gloat. It’s almost too easy. I’ll be able to milk this barbecue for months. Every time my mom brings up moving on, I’ll remind her that I have. It’s not my fault Madeleine and I didn’t end up working out.
She’ll have no leg to stand on. I won’t know what to do with all my free time—her constant pestering ate away whole chunks of my day. I could take up running again, maybe finally get around to reading the books stacked up on my nightstand.
My mom takes a seat in the lawn chair beside mine.
“Should be ready any second now,” Samuel announces from his station at the grill.
Thank god. The smell of barbecue chicken has made my stomach growl for the last half hour.
Kathy has the girls go in to wash their hands and gather up plates and dishes for the picnic table outside. Madeleine offers to help, and I smile. She fits in so well. No one would ever guess she’s not really here by choice.
That’s when I notice my mom staring at me.
I turn, and she smiles.
“I’m happy for you, son,” she says, tilting her head toward Madeleine. “She is quite a catch.”
I nod. “Isn’t she?”
“Beautiful,” she says.
“Very.”
“Smart.”
“And funny,” I add.
“How’d you manage to snag someone as good as her?”
I shrug and take a victorious sip of my beer. “Right place, right time I guess.”
“Oh, you’ll have to tell us the story over lunch.”
“There’s nothing to tell, really. Boy meets girl, falls for her, same ol’, same ol’.”
My mom shakes her head. “Nonsense. I bet it’s a great story, and Madeleine says you’ve taken her on quite a few dates. She even told me about what you did for her last week.”
I rack my brain, trying to think of what Madeleine could have told her. Was it about puppy training? The vet visit? Surely she didn’t completely make up a story.
“C’mon, you remember…she went on and on about the hot…”
She waits for me to fill in the rest and the silence drags on so long that I finally have to give in.
“Dogs?” I supply.
She laughs and bats my arm. “No! The hot air balloon ride you two took at sunrise!”
I take another sip of beer just in time to nearly spit it out all over the grass. Somehow, I manage to force it down and nod, playing along. “Of course, yeah…the hot air balloon. We’ve done so much that I forgot about that.”
“Wow, must be some whirlwind romance. She told me about the camels too. Y’know, I’ve never even seen a camel in real life!”
What the fuck, Madeleine?
“Oh yeah. She loved the camels.” I nod again.
“A camel ride through the park—so creative, Adam. Most men would have stuck with a horse-drawn carriage, but not you. Who taught you to be so romantic?”
I tug at my shirt’s collar, trying to loosen the material just a bit. “Ha. Guess I got it from you.”
“I swear when I look at her, I can see exactly what my future grandchildren will look like.”
Alarm bells blare like sirens in my head. “Grandchildren? C’mon Mom, we’ve only been dating a few weeks.”
She looks stricken. “Madeleine says it’s been longer, that you two even talked about marriage sometime next spring.”
“Next spring?!”
I should have known better than to leave Madeleine alone with my mother. I thought she would play along. Be nice, stay quiet—that was the plan.
“It does seem quick,” she admits. “Was she lying?”
The mention of that word nearly forces me to break out in hives.
“No, of course not. I mean, she and I have entertained the idea. Nothing serious, obviously.”