All my energy disappeared as I thought of how such a tiny thing as a lie could be like a pebble tossed in a pond, its ripples felt for decades. I collapsed back into my chair. “Is that what you came to tell me?”
She raised a regal eyebrow. “Partly. You will find, dear Kate, that as one gets older one tends to want to make amends. To fix old wrongs. Admitting my part in the Harry and Olive saga was just one of my sins for which I needed to atone. I am sure I will think of more. But mostly I wanted to pass on a piece of advice I wish somebody had told me when I was your age. It would have saved me quite a bit of heartache. Not that I would have listened, of course. But you’re a woman, Kate. Much smarter than I was. Which is why I have hopes that you will take my advice to heart.”
To my surprise, she leaned her cane against the wall and reached out for my hands. I hesitated for just a moment before placing mine in hers. Her skin was cool and papery, as brittle as an autumn leaf. “Follow your heart. If you put your heart second and always follow your head, you will end up like me. Disappointment and regret are very lonely bedfellows.”
There was a brief tap on the door and Mona popped her head through the opening. “Are we ready yet, Mrs. Schuyler?”
“You took your time, didn’t you? I hope you got your fill of coffee and cake, because you’re not getting any when we get home.”
Mona’s smile never dimmed as she picked up the cane and then helped Prunella stand.
I kissed Prunella’s cheek. “Thank you,” I said. “For everything.”
“Yes, well, next time do not make me come all the way out here to see you. You know where I live. And when your captain comes to visit you again, I want to meet him.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but she and Mona were already bustling out of the room and toward the elevator. I said good-bye and watched them leave, Prunella staring straight ahead as if she were still the princess of the mansion.
I sat down in my chair again and stared at the wall for a long moment. Disappointment and regret. Could it be that in my desperation to avoid both I’d inadvertently embraced them, heading down the same path as Olive and Lucy? And Prunella. Had nobody learned anything?
I closed my eyes as my world shifted beneath my feet and something that felt like hope fluttered in my chest. Standing, I made my way out of the office, my feet confident of their direction for the first time in weeks.
SEPTEMBER 1944
The reception desk nurse scowled at me as she held her hand over the telephone’s receiver. “Dr. Schuyler, may I remind you that this phone is not intended for personal use?”
I resisted the urge to grab it from her and instead smiled. “I know, and I do apologize. But it must be an emergency for my friend to be calling me.”
“Let’s just hope it is. I would hate to report you to Dr. Greeley.”
“Yes, let’s hope it’s an emergency.” My sarcasm went unappreciated as the nurse reluctantly handed me the phone, mouthing the words, “Be quick.”
“Margie? Is everything all right?”
“Everything’s fine. But we’re absolutely swamped here and two coworkers are out sick, so I’m it. I can’t meet you at the park today for lunch.”
I felt more disappointed than I should. Margie had been my champion over the last month. She’d helped me write the first letter to Cooper, telling him I’d had a change of heart. She’d come up with the idea of using hospital stationery so if anyone else found the letter they would think it was official hospital business and not be tempted to open it. I’d written three letters, each one more revealing than the last, each addressed to his family home on Tradd Street where he’d grown up and where he now lived with his widowed mother.
Each week without a reply had left me more and more despondent, and I’d come to rely on Margie to keep my hopes and spirits up. But doubt had begun to splinter my initial resolution, each day seeming to dawn darker and darker. Disappointment and regret. At first Prunella’s words had been my motivation, but as the weeks dragged on, I began to see them as my destiny.
I tried to put a smile in my voice. “I understand. Maybe Friday?”
“We’ll see. But I still think you should go today. It’s beautiful outside and the leaves in the park have started to turn. Sit on our usual bench and pretend I’m there. I promise you’ll feel better once you get some sun on your face.”
“Sure,” I said. “Maybe I will.”
“Do it,” Margie commanded. “Let me play doctor for once.”
The nurse tapped her watch with exaggerated movements. “I’ve got to go. I’ll call you . . .” The phone was ripped from my grasp before I could say good-bye.