Marin would not let Kelly down. She worked methodically, and her panic subsided after about a half hour. Once she fell into a rhythm, she realized she’d learned more from her afternoons alongside Kelly than she’d thought. Somehow, she’d absorbed some of Kelly’s technique. And Kelly had known this.
The thing she loved about working with her hands was how it stilled her mind. No agonizing thoughts of Julian, no worry about the pregnancy and her future. There was just the work, a beautiful pattern taking shape under her fingertips.
Three different shades of blue tile joined together to great effect. If she ever made her own mosaics, she would probably have to plan out the patterns a few different ways before deciding. Okay, to be honest, a dozen different ways. She would obsess about making it perfect before giving in to the idea that it was good enough. Maybe that was okay.
She was startled by a knock on the door. She’d locked it out of habit; she and Kelly were always careful to do it so that Amelia wouldn’t walk in unannounced and accidentally ruin her own surprise.
“Just a sec.” Marin wiped her hands on a cloth. Whoever it was would have to be sent away quickly. She was on a mission and in a groove.
She unlocked the door and her breath caught in her throat.
“Your mother said I could find you up here,” Julian said.
Marin put her brush and glue down on the table. “I don’t know why you came back. There’s nothing left to talk about.”
“There’s a hell of a lot to talk about.”
“Julian, I know you probably prepaid for a few days at Captain Jack’s. That doesn’t mean we have to drag out this conversation.”
He shook his head. “So cynical.”
“Don’t I have reason to be? You freaked out over the job thing, were barely able to talk to me for a month. I can’t imagine you handling this baby situation even under the best of circumstances, never mind with this ambiguity. And it’s fine—really. I don’t blame you. I don’t even know how to handle it. So let’s just call it a day and save ourselves the drama.”
“Marin,” he said. “Look at me.”
She couldn’t. Why did he have to show up again? She’d spent all night telling herself it was for the best that he left—it took the pressure off. Some people weren’t meant for lasting relationships, and she was probably one of them. Maybe she would raise the baby in Provincetown, get a job in one of the small law offices nearby. Or she would live in a small place on the beach, become an artist. Not much money in that, but she could make it work…
Julian was saying something. She tried to focus.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Say that again?”
“I came out here because I missed you. We started something amazing and, well, I did a lot of soul-searching in New York and I really want to see where this thing can go.”
“What are you saying?”
“I overreacted when we lost our jobs. I don’t want to make the same mistake now. I think we need to just…take things slow and get all the facts.”
“The facts.”
“Come on, Marin. You worked with me on Genie. You understand all the advances of DNA testing. We can find out the paternity in, what—a few weeks?”
Yes, she’d thought of that. And she’d dismissed it. She didn’t want to know who the father was because she loved the baby no matter what. The messy reality could come later.
“And then what happens? You find out the baby isn’t yours and you just walk away? No, thanks. Let’s just end it right here and now.”
“Marin, we’ve been together only a few months. We haven’t even gotten to the point where we know for sure about each other, never mind raising a child together. But either way, I want to know. And, frankly, Greg has a right to know.”
It was true. She hated that he was right.
She didn’t say anything. He looked down at the mosaic.
“Did you make this?”
“No. It’s Kelly’s—my grandmother’s wife. I’m just helping.”
Julian looked around the studio, walked over to the bins filled with shells and colored glass and tile. He examined a few of Kelly’s pieces on the walls. “She sells these?”
“Yes. My grandmother taught her when she first moved out here because she needed something to do. Now houses and restaurants all over town have her mosaics.”
“Impressive.”
“People out here make a living without showing up at a big corporation every day. It’s just a whole way of life I never thought about.”
“Is that what you want? To give up law and live out here doing something like this?”
She shook her head. “No. It just gives me a different perspective, that’s all. Why? What do you want?”
“The same thing I’ve always wanted. I’m the same ambitious lawyer you met two years ago when you came to the firm. And so are you. So let’s do what we do best: get the facts. Then make decisions.” He took her hand. “What do you say?”
Slowly, she nodded.
“It will be all right,” he said, leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek.
She hoped he was right.
“Let’s find a computer,” he said. What’s the big rush? she wanted to say. But didn’t.
“My laptop’s in my room,” she admitted.
She hadn’t once taken it out of her suitcase and felt self-conscious retrieving it from the closet, feeling Julian’s eyes on her every movement. It was strangely intimate to be together in that space, somehow much more so than any of their moments at his apartment in the city, including that first night. She had no idea why this was so, but it made her feel skittish.
Julian sat on the edge of her bed while she plugged in the computer and logged on to Genie. It took her a few seconds to find the prenatal genetics section. Her mind clouded with anxiety; she thought about the previous time she’d logged on to the site, prompted by Rachel’s e-mail. This was even more terrifying.
She clicked on the order form for the testing kit and began typing in her info. He moved closer to her, rubbing her shoulders.
“Do they have a next-day-delivery option for the kit?” he said.
She nodded. It was done.
“Now what?” she said.
“Now? Now we go on a date. Why don’t you show me what this town of yours has to offer.”
Blythe found Amelia and Kelly’s matching blue bikes propped at the side of the house. Amelia told them all they could use the bikes whenever they wanted, but as Blythe admitted to Rachel early in the trip, it really had been about thirty years since she rode. And as Rachel told her, getting back on would be like she’d never stopped.