“You’re the only thing that’s keeping me going while I try to figure this shit out. Don’t give up now, baby. Please.” Jack’s gaze drops to my shoulder, and I watch as the hollows in his relaxed jaw start to pulse again. His hand comes up and lightly traces over the strap of my bra. He’s not being affectionate.
I realize what’s forcing him to keep hold of his temper the moment he turns disgusted gray eyes onto me. “You’re wearing my underwear,” he breathes. He’s trying to swallow down some calm. He’s failing terribly. Taking the tops of my arms, he holds me in place. “You have my underwear on and you were going to let another man have you?”
I shake my head meekly.
He recoils. “Did you kiss him? Tell me you didn’t kiss him.”
I fly into defense mode. “I’ve been here for months accepting that you get into bed with her every night. Not me. Her.” A fresh batch of tears tumble free. “It should be me.” I cough on a sob, looking away.
Jack hisses and releases me, backing away. “This is poisonous,” he mumbles, raking a frustrated hand through his hair.
Without him holding me up, my knees give and I slide down the wall to my arse. He takes his knuckles to his eye sockets and rubs harshly, letting his head fall back once he’s done.
“I know you’re scared of the repercussions, Annie,” he says, this time calmly. “Trust me, so am I, but I’m done with it.”
My heart pounds in my chest as he drops heavily to his knees in front of me, taking my hands and shuffling forward to get close. “Annie, listen to me.” He squeezes my hands, his face deadly serious. “If I stay in that hell any longer, there will be nothing left of me.” He drops my hands and grabs my cheeks, holding my face as my tears continue to pour. “I’m madly in love with you, woman, and I’m hating my screwed-up situation for keeping me from you. I don’t care about the consequences. I can’t let her manipulate me anymore. And I don’t care what people will think of me when I leave her.” He kisses my forehead, holding his mouth there, and my hands go to his shoulders and hold onto him. “We’ve been walking with our heads in the clouds for too long, baby. I’m not settling for part-time love anymore. I just want to be with you. Every day I stall is a day wasted without you. It’s another piece of me chipped away.”
I break down in his arms, feeling like everything is coming to a head. The pain and the devastation on the horizon are at the forefront of my mind, but I know it’s going to be worse than I ever imagined it could be. “I don’t want to lose you,” I murmur weakly, aware that Stephanie has the ability to manipulate Jack, make him feel guilty and influence his decision. How can she be happy knowing how unhappy he is?
“You won’t lose me, I swear to God.” He breathes in as he pulls his lips away from my forehead and brings his face to mine, making sure he has my eyes. “It’s not going to be easy, but as long as I have you at the end of it, I can get through it.” Jack’s voice quavers, his bottom lip trembling. “I’m terrified that you’re going to decide I’m not worth the heartache and walk away from me.”
“No!” I cry, grabbing his hands on my face. “I could never walk away from you. I love you too much.” I hate how relieved he looks, as if he doubted it. I might not have told him with words, but I’ve told him in every other way. I would never have put myself in this situation for anything less than powerful love. The kind that keeps you going. The kind that gives you breath and life. Jack’s my life. He’s my pulse. He’s everything.
He nods and strokes over my hair, his hand falling to my neck and massaging. “Then we do this together. We’ll figure it out.”
He collapses to his arse and hauls me into his body, holding on to me like he’s never held me before. His heart is pounding hard, his emotion clear in his constant swallows. “I love you. I’ll never regret not walking away from you that night,” he tells me quietly.
I smile through my wretchedness, squeezing him harder, reinforcing how I feel without words. “Crossing that road to you was the best move I’ve ever made.”
He kisses my head constantly, feeling me everywhere as I snuggle in his embrace, letting myself calm under his touch. “We’ll be all right.” Gently breaking away from me, he smiles mildly, a smile full of the worry and apprehension that I’m feeling myself. “I should go,” he says regretfully, just as his phone rings. On a weary exhale, he looks down at the screen, as do I. Her name stares up at us and brings on another level of despondency.
“Where is she?”
“At home. I walked out when she came at me with her claws.”
I wince, but a flash of anger creeps up on me. The sooner he’s out of there, the better. He stands and pulls me to my feet, brushing my hair from my sticky face. “I need to fix your door before I go.” Taking my hand, he walks us through to the hall where my door is literally hanging off its hinges. There’s no way Jack’s fixing that. He’ll be here all night.
“I’ll call a locksmith.”
“I’m not leaving you with your door like this.”
“Then you shouldn’t have smashed it down,” I mutter.
“Then you shouldn’t have brought a man—” My hand zooms up and covers his lips, and his eyes widen. Then his mouth opens and shifts a little, and he bites down on my hand.
“Ouch!” I yell, retracting quickly, but my split second of a chance to retaliate is stolen from me when he seizes me around the waist and pins me to his body. Taking my arms and draping them over his shoulders, he gets nose to nose with me. I scowl. He chuckles lightly. I have no idea why. Tonight has been about as funny as a horror film. “Why the hell are you laughing?” I ask indignantly.
“Because if I don’t laugh I’ll embarrass myself and cry like a fucking baby.”
I sigh. “You’d better go.”
His shining eyes dull immediately. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“You don’t have any choice,” I point out, detaching him from my body and moving toward the door before I beg him to stay.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” Jack asks. “I’m in the office all day but can get away for an hour for lunch.”
I fight my hands to my sides when he stops in front of me, giving me hopeful eyes. After everything, I just want to charge at his waist, tackle him to the floor, and hide in his chest. And hide him from her. “You’re in the office? But it’s Saturday.”
“I have stuff to catch up on.”
And it keeps him out of the house. “Where?” I ask.
“There’s a little place at the back of the docks.”
“That’s a bit close to your office, isn’t it?”
“It’s Saturday. No one from the office will be around.”
“Okay,” I agree, without hesitation. If Jack’s comfortable with it, then there’s no reason for me not to be. “Noon? I’m seeing Micky for coffee at ten. Shouldn’t be more than an hour.”
“Noon,” Jack confirms, stopping at the door and giving the splintered wood another inspection. “Call the locksmith straightaway and text me when they’ve been.” He turns and gives me stern eyes.
I sigh. “I can’t text you.”