“Again?” Wren asked.
Tyler wasn’t holding back now. His chest heaved as he talked. Every word sounded as if it were being dragged out of him. “The last time I had to go away to get my head straight. I learned these tools to help with what really happened and only own the parts that were my responsibility, like going away to school instead of being here to finish off the investigation. Tools to help me stay focused on the future, but they aren’t working this time.”
Well, shit. Wren didn’t want to get it. He wanted to decide Tyler’s culpability and walk away, but that’s not really what he was hearing. “It’s guilt.”
Emery’s eyes grew huge as she stared at him. “Hey!”
He rushed to explain. “Survivor’s guilt.”
Tyler snorted. “What do you know about it?”
“A lot.” Everything. Too much. “Your world changed, but your life didn’t stop. The reminders were everywhere and you couldn’t escape them or ignore them. When you tried you only felt worse.”
Tyler nodded but didn’t say anything.
Wren kept going, reliving as much as explaining. “You go back and forth between being plowed under with grief and guilt and having good days. Sometimes the good days are worse because, for a short time, you forget about Tiffany and then you hate yourself for that, too.”
“Did you know her?” There was no anger or distrust in Tyler’s voice now.
“No, but I know loss.” Wren glanced at Emery. “So does she. She feels it, too. Anyone who’s been in this situation does.”
“You don’t get it.” Tyler’s head dropped and he stared at the table. “I upset Tiffany. We kissed and then she cut me off and I called her names. Stupid kid shit, but still. Our last conversation was me calling her a slut, which was so . . .”
“Something dumb a kid would say,” Wren said, filling the blank.
Emery’s hand squeezed Tyler’s arm. “Do you know what happened to her?”
“God, I wish I did. Maybe then all of the shit in my head would stop.”
“There are good doctors.” Emery didn’t break the connection with Tyler. She stayed there, comforting with her words and hand. “I’ve seen some over the years.”
“I’ve had good doctors.” Tyler looked up again. “How does this not kick your ass every day?”
“God, Tyler. Why do you think I’m still searching for her?” The ache in her voice mirrored the pain pulling across her mouth and lurking in her eyes.
He shrugged. “Because you’re a better person than the rest of us.”
Wren finally found something he agreed with from Tyler. She was better.
“Because it’s the only way I can get through,” she said. “And you will, too.”
Wren nodded. “You will.”
Damn, he hoped that was true.
Emery grabbed on to the headboard and lifted her body up one last time. Almost separated from Wren but kept the very tip of him inside before plunging back down again. Feeling him fill her. Listening to his labored breathing.
The heat of their bodies and sweat from the lovemaking set her skin on fire. A final thrust of Wren deep inside her, of riding him as she straddled him on that big bed, and she came. Every nerve ending tingled and the pulsing inside her wouldn’t stop.
Her hips moved and energy bounced around the room. The electricity between them sparked hotter each time.
She leaned in and kissed him. Put her mouth over his as he gasped from the force of the orgasm hitting him. She breathed him in. Put her hands on his and traveled up and down her sides. She fell against him with her breasts smashed against his chest. Heavy breathing had her turning her head to the side. The frantic beat of his heart echoed in her ear.
Her body still shook from the force of it all. From switching her mind off and surrendering. After a terrible day and more than two hours talking Tyler into getting help and easing off the self-medication, she’d wanted an escape. Wren offered one.
They’d barely made it upstairs when they got home. Stripping their clothes off as they mounted each stair, they’d tripped and fumbled their way down the hall. Once inside with them both naked she’d been out of control.
He took it all. Let her be in charge and set the pace. She loved that about him. The absolute confidence. The self-assurance that came with knowing when she felt free in the sex he would enjoy it even more.
It was about attraction and trust. A mutual respect.
Then there was the part where she was falling for him. Hard and fast, almost stupidly so. He was wrong for her in so many ways and right in so many others. They clicked. And she couldn’t deny the need that rolled through her when he touched her, or how much she loved the simple act of looking at him across the breakfast table.
She kissed his bare chest. Ran her hand over the muscles on his arm, savoring the hardness of him in comparison to her softness. “I love that position.”
He chuckled and his body vibrated under hers. “You’re very good at it.”