“Feel free to answer it.” She still looked ready to bolt. Never mind that this was her apartment.
He didn’t talk about his personal life—ever. Not just because he coveted privacy, though that was a substantial part of it. He didn’t want to put anyone else’s life in danger by association. The people he dealt with, some of those who found themselves on the wrong side of his negotiating tactics, grew desperate fast. Landing anyone else in the crossfire due to his work choices was not a risk he was willing to take.
“We’re divorced, have been for years,” he explained. Shauna had remarried and been out of his thoughts for years. His office kept tabs on her, only to the extent they knew where she was and that she was safe.
That was a different time in his life. He lived under a different name and focused on different things. Back then he was emotional, driven for answers about his mother. On the edge and always a single step away from doing something that would turn his life inside out and destroy it forever. With the benefit of age, he now considered Shauna collateral damage to that life. He repaid her for all she lost by leaving her alone.
Emery’s half glare and all that wariness hadn’t abated. “But she’s alive somewhere?”
He was starting to get annoyed. “I didn’t kill her, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Can you really blame me for wanting a straight answer? The surveillance and all the secrecy.” Some of the tension left her body and the fidgeting decreased. “You’re an odd man.”
“I guess that’s better than being called ‘creepy.’ ” Or a killer. No wonder he was so good at his job. Apparently his mere presence scared the crap out of women.
“I’m serious.”
“Being different doesn’t make me a killer.” He was starting to feel defensive and that never happened to him.
“It does make you feel a little dangerous. Maybe in a sexy way, but I can’t tell yet.” She winced. “Okay, I didn’t mean it that way. I just—”
“We married in college.” He broke in because if she used the word sexy again or went even a little farther down that road he would be all over her. Forget that she saw him as this hulking mess who didn’t eat food or do anything normal people did. He could overcome that. Getting through what would happen if they slept together was a different issue. One he hadn’t worked out in his head yet.
But he would.
“Okay.” Something in her body language changed. It was as if each cell sparked to life. She definitely listened and turned over every word.
“We were too young and did it for the wrong reasons.” She didn’t say anything. Just stood there, as if waiting for the next sentence. For some reason he decided to give her one. “We knew each other since we were kids and it was safe. We should have been friends and left it there.”
“It was a mutual split, then.”
He couldn’t figure out if that was another way to ask if he murdered Shauna or not. “She left me, but I’ve come to realize I deserved to be left.”
“What does that mean?”
“If you think I’m difficult now you should have seen me then.” A vast understatement, but sufficient to make his point.
Emery stepped closer again. Treated him to a flirty little walk. “Was that so hard to tell me?”
“Yes.”
She grinned. “Did you give her your name or was it a big surprise back then, too? I’m trying to figure out how you said your vows without mentioning it.”
“Are you asking for my full name?” He liked how she made the move. The confidence proved very sexy.
“I think I’ve asked a bunch of times since we met.”
She stopped right in front of him, so close that he could look down and see the vee to that shirt and the edges of the lacy light blue bra beneath.
She was going to be the death of him.
The woman tempted him on every level. The body, that mouth. The brain. The way she moved and how she signaled her interest. It didn’t amount to a flashing green light, and he required one of those, but she called out to him in fundamental ways. Something raw and primal awoke inside him.
He’d cut himself off from so much. Sex was an act he shared with like-minded women who wanted a release and no strings. He was honest about that much even though he never gave his real name. He was sure that made him a complete asshole, but he couldn’t shake the need to control and protect his identity.
He also couldn’t explain why he’d relaxed every personal rule when she came along. He didn’t have an excuse, but he did have a choice not to drag her further into his fucked-up mess of a life. “You really should eat something.”
“I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to settle down. I don’t want protection.” She played with the buttons on his shirt. “I can’t even explain what it’s like.”
Her mood morphed again. Back to sharing with a hint of vulnerability. “The worry about the break-in?”