Shit! I didn’t even think about the money. Eight hundred dollar exam and five hundred dollar exam prep course…courtesy of my parents’ generosity.
My manicured hand covered my mouth as I realized just how royally I fucked up. “I will pay you back every dime.”
Although they always assured me that I didn’t need to work while I was in school, I showed up to work almost every night to take care of myself. But they paid for my school expenses—which included everything related to the bar exam.
“It’s not about the money, Zoe. Your father and I just want to know what made you decide to skip the biggest exam of your life and immediately come here. Don’t get us wrong, we loved having you and seeing you so soon after Christmas. But there has to be an explanation.”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to explain it. Fortunately, the waitress dropped off our food and the conversation halted for one full minute. Even after the waitress left, the awkwardness of knowing they were waiting for a response and not knowing what to say only suppressed my appetite.
“I never meant to keep it from you,” I started, looking between them. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. I’m sorry.”
“What is it that you’re not telling us?” My mother’s exasperated voice filled me with dread because I knew I’d disappointed her. I’d disappointed both of them.
I blinked at her, contemplating my truth.
I’m freaking out.
I’m not ready.
I’m overwhelmed.
Because taking that exam changes everything.
“Zoe.” My father’s baritone pulled me out of my thoughts.
“I’ve been selected to participate on The One.” The words flew out of my mouth before I had time to think about it.
“What? What is that?” He looked at Mom who was staring directly at me.
“A reality dating show,” she answered without taking her eyes off of me. She tilted her head to the side slightly, assessing me, assessing my answer. “You didn’t take the California State Bar Exam because you are going on The One? The same show you said, and I quote, ‘was setting women back’?”
She doesn’t believe me. She knows me too well.
I had a choice. I could either admit that I was essentially going through a quarter-life crisis or I could dig in and commit.
“I’m interested in knowing more about Julian Winters…”
Which is the truth.
“Filming starts next week…”
Also the truth.
“I decided to just sit for the next exam. In July.”
All facts.
My dad seemed content with my reasoning. “Well that makes sense. You should do something different before beginning your career and take at least one risk. So this makes sense.” He nodded. “I get that. We traveled before starting our careers. And you haven’t dated anyone since Tate so this should be good for you. Have you heard from him?”
I looked over at my mother for help, but she seemed to still be sizing me up, focusing on the holes in my story. I quickly returned my gaze to my father.
“Dad.” I shook my head. “No.”
My father loved Tate Lewis. Even though Tate dropped me as soon as he got an NFL offer and broke my heart three years ago, Dad was still in denial that the situation was seriously over.
“Okay, okay.” He lifted his hands and gave me an easy smile. “So this is one of those shows where the last woman standing gets to be with the man?”
Just hearing it reduced to that made me ashamed of even pretending to go on the show. I almost balked and told the truth, but I heard my mother’s words in my head.
Giving up is the first step to failure.
The words played on a loop.
I took the first step toward failure. Walking away from the test, running home because I got scared, that’s a failure.
I cleared my throat. “Yes. This season the man in question is Julian Winters. He’s a songwriter and music producer. On a fundamental level, I don’t believe in reality dating shows. But I figure, if I participate and I am myself and stay above the fray, it could actually help the image of women that is being conveyed. And he is very intriguing.”
I sold that so smoothly, I almost bought it myself.
My dad nodded in agreement. My mother was a harder sell.
Pulling out my phone, I pulled up the picture of Julian.
“This is him.” I showed my father first and then my mother.
She looked at the phone and then me and then the phone again. A smirk played on her lips. “Ah, I see. Well the look on your face earlier makes a little more sense now. I look forward to watching you on the show, Zoe.”
She didn’t look completely convinced, but she was dropping the issue.
Shit, it worked!
I was surprised, but grateful. But then it hit me.
Shit! Now that means I have to actually go on the show.
The One on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D0Z73QA
Unspeakable by Kristen Hope Mazzola
Prologue.
Ryder