The Fandom

‘That’s an O. As in orange.’

We launch back into our lines, but my brain is elsewhere. I barely notice when Willow starts to kiss me. I’d forgotten about the making-out scene. It seemed so romantic – Rose and Willow nestled in the straw, basking in the flickering glow of a paraffin lamp. But in reality, the straw pricks my face and the lamp is a massive fire hazard, and I just feel guilty for kissing Willow when I’m thinking about Ash. I suddenly wish we were in a movie or a book, then I could just hit the fast-forward button or flick through the pages at record speed.

‘So, I’ll see you tomorrow?’ Willow asks.

‘I’d like that.’

Willow helps me down the wooden ladder, book tucked beneath his arm. I feel a swell of relief – the scene finally drawing to a close. I can’t believe I didn’t enjoy that. What’s my problem? It’s Willow for Christ’s sake. My fangirl crush since I was fifteen.

This place must be getting to me.

We share a final kiss, which is a little on the sloppy side, and I watch him meander back to the manor, his silhouette fading into the dark. I think I said my lines right; he certainly seemed happy enough. More than happy, I think he has genuine feelings for me. I guess this isn’t a script for him. It’s real.

And I think I’ve just figured out what my problem is. Love can’t be prescribed or thrust upon you. Love doesn’t follow a script. Falling in love is about falling into unpredictability – it’s about taking a risk.

And on that note, I run towards the chicken coop.





I see the flicker of Ash’s torch – like the beam of a dying lighthouse – before I see him. I move towards it until I can hear his breath. He leans against the coop, and I notice how monochrome he looks in the dark, the white of his skin against the black of his hair. I catch his scent on the breeze, weaving beneath the smell of creosote, and I inhale a little deeper.

‘I wasn’t sure you’d come.’ He whispers, even though there’s nobody else around.

‘You said it was important.’

‘It is.’ He shines the torch in my face. ‘But you have to promise not to tell a soul.’

‘Yeah, course.’

He moves the beam across my face, as though trying to see beneath my skin and into the contents of my head. ‘Because it could end up getting us both killed . . . I mean it.’

‘Shit, Ash. Just show me.’ I hate change, I hate surprises. I should be hiding in the Imp-hut practising my lines with Nate. Yet, being here with Ash, I find I actually want to take a risk – perhaps this universe is forcing me to let go a little, desensitizing me to all things new. Or maybe being with him just makes me feel safe enough to shut my eyes and jump. Maybe he brings out a different side to me . . . a better side.

He takes my hand – I think through practicality rather than intimacy, but it thaws my insides all the same – and leads me away from the coop, even deeper into the estate. We walk in silence for a mile or so, Ash constantly glancing behind his shoulder like we may be followed. This makes me a little uneasy, but the curiosity chips away at the fear, and that safe, steady hand gripping mine stops me from flipping out. We walk through meadows, climb a stone wall, cross a wobbly bridge and, finally, enter a wood.

The temperature falls and a rich scent of pine and damp grass fills my head. The leaves block out any ambient light and the beam of his torch only just alerts us to the trunks before we bash into them. I can’t remember ever being in a wood at night, only in the day back at home, picnicking amongst harebells – more Mary Poppins than Blair Witch. But everything seems scarier in the black – especially the noises. Cawing, shrieking, caterwauling. I focus on the sound of Ash and me, crunching through the undergrowth, drawing in mouthfuls of stiff night air. It’s slow going; zigzagging between trunks, stumbling on tree roots and bundles of weeds.

‘We’re nearly there,’ he whispers.

Something bursts from the undergrowth. A whirl of feathers, a loud clacking noise, something warm and soft brushing up against my face. I fall to the ground, too scared to scream.

‘It’s just a pheasant,’ he says.

He follows the brown body into the tops of the trees with his beam. I try and catch my breath, my heart punching into my ribcage.

‘Come on.’ He helps me stand. I can just make out the glint of his teeth, no doubt he’s grinning that massive grin.

‘Don’t you dare laugh, you massive git,’ I whisper, before laughing myself.

He places a finger over his lips and hushes me, and it feels like we’re back at the chicken coop the first time round, like he’s going to arch his back and start clucking like a hen.

‘There’s nobody here,’ I say.

He places the torch beneath his chin so it lights up his face. He looks like an evil hobgoblin. ‘We’ll see about that.’

A few more trunks, a few more roots and, suddenly, I realize I can see without Ash’s torch. A clearing. The moon high above, its light thinned by a smudge of clouds.

‘Ta dah,’ he says, his voice still low.

‘There’s nothing here.’

It’s just a clearing. A stretch of dirt, surrounded by a dense forest and a lattice of weeds. A pocket of stillness.

He runs his torch beam over a few of the nearby trunks then slips his hand into a tree nook. ‘In here, there’s a little switch.’

‘That’s what all the fuss is about, a little switch?’

‘This place is so far from the estate, nobody ever comes. But you know me, I like to explore.’ He fiddles with something inside the nook. The switch, I’m guessing. He looks at me, his eyes wide. ‘Don’t you think there’s something weird about this place?’

I look at the clearing. Just a load of trees. ‘In what way?’

He gestures with his head. ‘That side of the clearing looks exactly the same as this side. A mirror image. All the knots and branches and hollows . . . Everything.’

I peer across the stretch of dirt. I can just make out the nook of the tree, and next to it, two pale blobs – not blobs – faces. I’m about to freak out again, but something about those faces looks so familiar. ‘Is that us?’

He laughs. ‘It took me a while to find, but it’s a cloaking device, a clever mirroring gadget. It filters out human forms in the day, but at night, I don’t know, it just seems to miss us.’

I hear a sharp click. He pulls his hand free.

The air in the clearing seems to shimmer for a moment. Instinctively, I grab Ash’s hand. A large grey cube materializes. A bunker. I suppose it was always here, but it’s as though it’s fallen from the sky. A basic structure built from concrete, shorter than the trees, but more than tall enough for someone to stand inside.

‘What is it?’ I ask.

He squeezes my hand. ‘It’s what’s inside that’s more important.’

Together, we circle it. It’s no bigger than my bedroom back home. No windows, no door.

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