“Ain’t nothing like the real thing, baby. Nothing like the real thing,” Aretha’s voice sang out over the sound system, while Mom was busy in a million different places: in the kitchen putting together a meal, fixing the room for Daddy, and worrying over all of us. She was working overtime to make things as normal as possible, even though that was absolutely impossible. Normally, when I felt this upset I could calm myself with a little retail therapy, but no amount of Lanvin or Louis would fix this feeling. The only thing that would mean a thing to me now would be Daddy waking up. However, hitting someone to cause them extraordinary amounts of pain might help my mood just a little. The more I thought about it, the more I knew exactly who should be on the receiving end of my rage.
“Yes?” Junior looked up from LC’s desk when I entered the room. Seeing him making himself at home in Daddy’s office did nothing to alter my pissed-off disposition.
“Why are you here?” I fumed, unleashing my fury on him.
“Paris, I don’t have time for one of your little tantrums. I’m trying to find out where Sasha is,” he snapped before turning back to his work—as if he could dismiss me like that.
“You fuckin’ kidding me? You need to get your ass up out of Daddy’s office and let one of the real men in this family sit in that chair. No one wants you here. And for the record, you’re the reason Sasha got taken, so you should be looking for her.” I don’t think I had ever hated anyone so much in my entire life.
“Look, I know you’re upset, but you are going to have to do something unique, and that is to pull it together. Ma doesn’t need you acting like a crazy person right now.” He spoke to me in the calm way people do when they want you to believe that you’re insane and they’re innocent.
I blew up at him. “Upset? Upset! It’s because of you that our father might die and our cousin probably is going to die. Because you were so fuckin’ selfish that you chose a woman, someone else’s wife, over your own family.” I spit the words out furiously.
He looked up at me, and sure, I could see that my words stung him, but I didn’t care how he felt. Not one bit.
“You don’t understand. You can’t. You have never loved anyone in your whole spoiled little rich-girl life. Go away, Paris, before you really piss me off.”
Instead of leaving, I reached across the desk, wanting to destroy him. He grabbed my hand before I could connect with his jaw. He was too damn strong for me.
“You’re fuckin’ lucky I’m not strapped,” I yelled, pulling myself away from him.
“Oh, boo fuckin hoo, you brat. Your problem is you’ve been sheltered from ever having to think about anyone other than yourself. Even motherhood is mostly done for you. This is the first time in your entire life that you’ve had to think about someone else.”
“Really? So I didn’t have to end the life of the only man I have ever loved because it would have cost us our father?” As usual, no one in my family ever understood how hard it had been for me to kill Niles. It had damn near ripped my heart out, and they all acted like it was nothing. Yet here was Junior expecting me to accept that he couldn’t sacrifice his relationship with Sonya in order to protect his own blood.
“Fuck you and all your selfish bullshit, Junior. You chose * over our family, and it will be your fault if Daddy and Sasha die.”
“Hey, don’t you ever talk about Sonya that way. You hear me? And don’t you dare upset her.” He had the nerve to threaten me, as if her crazy-ass husband wasn’t trying to extinguish us all.
“Upset her? I don’t give a fuck how she feels. She can drop dead for all I care. As a matter of fact, if she did, I would throw a motherfuckin’ party,” I promised.
Junior jumped up and snatched me up in his grasp. I shook myself loose, ready to attack him with my fists.