Rio and LC had a tough relationship. LC loved Rio, but he came up in a time when it was wholly unacceptable for a man to be homosexual, so he’d had a very hard time regaining his footing when Rio came out to us. It probably didn’t help that his first three sons were alpha males, mirroring their father in so many ways. They played sports, shot guns, and were hyper competitive. Our oldest three boys were homing pigeons for beautiful women, which accounted for this mess we were in right now.
Rio, on the other hand, was quite unlike his father, and it made it so difficult for them to communicate. Often it seemed like Rio didn’t feel brave enough to open up to LC, so if he wanted to talk now, I would keep my eyes closed and let him have his moment with LC. After all, none of us knew when it might be the last time we could speak to him.
“You can’t die on me,” I heard him say, choking back tears as he spoke. “We were just starting to get along. At least I felt like you were beginning to see me as more than the son who disappointed you.”
He was silent for a moment, and it took all my strength not to go over and take him into my arms, comforting him like I did when he was a little boy.
“I know we’ve had our problems in the past,” Rio continued, “and I also know that you will never be able to fully accept that you have a gay son. I wanted so much to be like my brothers, but I’m not. I’m gay, and that’s my normal. But I know you were doing what you thought was right, and I want you to know that I forgive you, Pop.”
LC and I had fought over that very thing so many times in the past. I couldn’t understand why, even after some time passed, my husband couldn’t accept Rio for who he was. LC liked to be in control, and I couldn’t make him understand that Rio’s sexuality was something neither one of us could ever change. He didn’t have to like it, I told him, but at least he could try to accept it. What Rio said next made me think that in his own way, perhaps LC had been coming around to see things differently.
“You sending me on those missions recently with Paris and Sasha helped me to see that you really do consider me a valuable part of this family business—and that you weren’t going to punish me forever for being the flaming gay son. You sending me off with Kennedy lately has meant so much. It tells me that in spite of everything, I am LC Duncan’s son. So, Pop, thank you, because I know that I’m hard for you to fully accept.”
He seemed to relax a bit now, as he went on. “I mean, I’m not just gay; I’m super gay, unable to slide under the radar. People see me coming a mile away in my Barney’s fashionista clothing and my swishy walk. Yes, I probably exaggerate it in front of you to piss you off, but that’s because I need you to know that I’m never going to change. Not for you, and not for anyone.”
Listening to my baby pour out his heart made me so proud of him. He’d probably never say any of this if his dad were awake, but it was obvious that he had been needing to get this off his hairless, waxed chest. Yes, I could have a sense of humor about this too.
“Pop, I love you, and I need you to get up so that maybe one day I can actually tell you all of this to your face.”
He sighed, and then I heard him stand. He dragged the chair back to its original position, and a few seconds later, I could feel him standing over me. I kept my eyes closed as he placed a kiss on the top of my head. A few seconds after that I heard the sound of the door closing.
As I opened my eyes, a lone tear escaped and dripped down my face. I brushed it away and exhaled hard to release my pent-up emotions before more tears could begin cascading. I heard the door open again, and I turned, expecting to see Rio returning, or maybe one of the other kids. They were coming and going so often lately that they might as well have installed a revolving door.
The person who walked in was definitely not who I was expecting.
“Donna. What are you doing here?” I was sure my face revealed my feelings about her presence. I’d been caught too off guard to slip my mask of calm back on.
She closed the door behind her. “I came to see LC, of course. How’s he doing?”
“Of course,” I echoed then got up and went to stand protectively beside my husband. “I’m sure LC would appreciate you coming to see him.”