My courage dissolved quickly as he stared me down. I stood there, trying not to shake in my stilettos as I prayed that he wasn’t the type of man who would hit a woman. When it came to Xavier’s people, I couldn’t be sure. They may have called themselves Muslims, but those murders had no moral compass whatsoever.
“You can call the cops, the National Guard, or the Marines. I really don’t give a damn. Ain’t no one going to stop me from doing my job.” With those words, he walked back to the driver’s side of the car, giving me the side-eye the entire way.
“Fuck you. I hope you die.” Though I wasn’t brave enough to say it louder than a whisper, it still felt good to curse him. With my fists clenched tightly, I marched into my house and locked the door behind me.
Leaning up against the door with my eyes closed, I took a few deep breaths in an attempt to steady my nerves. With each exhale, I hoped to release some of my pain, but my heart still ached intensely. If I didn’t have the pills that would end it all, at least I could get drunk enough to forget for a few hours, I thought, as I went into the kitchen and headed straight for the unfinished bottle of wine.
A sudden movement behind me sent a shot of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I gripped the neck of the wine bottle and flung myself around, prepared to attack whoever had invaded my home. Then I saw him, and the bottle fell from my hands, crashing to the floor.
“Oh my God, Junior. Your mother is going to kill me. What are you doing here?”
“You haven’t answered my calls for days,” he said. “Then I get here and you’re nowhere to be found. Are you back with him?” he asked, looking as vulnerable as I had ever seen this gentle giant.
“No. I hate him.” I should have lied, but I couldn’t bear to hurt him like that. I wanted Junior to leave, but there was no way I wanted him to believe that I could go back to my husband, or that my feelings for him weren’t real.
He took a step closer, and I could feel the heat rising off his body. It took every ounce of my willpower not to throw myself into his arms. Every nerve ending in my body was craving his touch, but I knew it wasn’t safe for either of us.
“You can’t be here,” I said, stepping away from him. The broken glass crunched under my shoes. “They’ve got people following my every move. They’re probably following you too.”
He shook his head. “Baby, you know what I do for a living. Ain’t nobody following me if I don’t want them to.” He read my expression, which told him I was still worried. “But if it makes you feel any better, I cut through your neighbor’s backyard to make sure I wasn’t seen.”
“I’d feel better if you left,” I told him. “This isn’t smart, and we need to be smart.”
He shrugged. “I’ve never been known for my brains,” he said. “I’m known for my heart, for the way I react when someone close to me is in trouble, and the way I am when I love someone, so I’m not going anywhere.”
Junior placed his hand on my cheek, and for a moment, I allowed myself to cherish the sensation of his skin on mine. I closed my eyes and inhaled. When he pressed his lips against mine, a small moan escaped from me before I came to my senses.
“No, I can’t.” I pushed him away. “We can’t. I promised your mother.” Turning away from him, I fought back the tears that were threatening to pour down my face. “It’s over, Junior. I’m sorry, but you have to go . . . and never come back. It’s for your own good.”
He dropped his hands to his sides, a wounded expression on his face. “Tell me that you don’t love me, and then I’ll go. I will go and you will never see me again.”