A faery at the front slides her blade out of its sheath and the others follow. They’ve declared their allegiance. The female soldier charges toward Aithinne like a damned fool with a death wish.
Aithinne doesn’t hesitate. She grabs the soldier around the neck like an errant child and holds her effortlessly in place. I wince at the gargled choke the soldier makes.
“Last chance,” she tells the others. “Choose my side and live, or die right here. Right now. As your king’s cannon fodder.”
Their silence is her answer. When none of them steps forward, Aithinne tightens her jaw. “Fine.”
She snaps the soldier’s neck and rams her sword into her gut. Then she lunges for the other fae. Aithinne is spectacular in battle. She cuts one down, whirls, cuts another.
I take my place alongside her. And it’s like I’ve come home.
Death is in my blood. I breathe it in like oxygen. The darkness inside me roars in response, powering each thrust of my sword, forcing my blade through sinew and bone. Their energy fills me, one right after the other. I feed on every kill. Each one makes me stronger, more powerful.
The battle happens so quickly, it’s as if time is suspended. Derrick wanted me to become the creature I was in the forest, but with my memories I’m something different. I’m me, only faster, more efficient. I kill with the speed of a brush fire through a forest. Nothing can stop me. They never even have the chance to scream.
The darkness inside me grows. Each thrust of my sword makes it roar in response, makes it scream. The Cailleach’s power is a battle cry in my blood, in my bones. My heart is singing.
I have the last faery in my sight, the blade at her throat—
“Aileana!”
Something about that voice makes me pause.
“Aileana,” she says again, slowly. Carefully. Like I’m an animal in the wild—a deadly one.
I’m breathing hard as the darkness clears from my vision.
It’s Aithinne I have pressed against a tree. Aithinne who I’m about to kill. Aithinne I have at the end of my blade with a stream of fresh blood down her neck—a reminder of how close I came to killing her.
“It’s all right,” she says when she sees the look on my face. “It’s all right. You’re all right.”
No. No, I’m not. I almost killed you and I almost killed Derrick before and I’m not all right. I’m not—
A searing pain bursts through my temple. I stagger back. The oxygen leaves my lungs, and suddenly I can’t get in enough air.
“Aileana!”
I’m on the ground, fingernails digging into the dirt as I come back to myself. It takes a moment for my blurred vision to clear.
A sudden wetness crosses my lips. I dart out my tongue and taste the overwhelming coppery tang of blood coming from my nose. “Aithinne,” I breathe. That’s all I can manage. Fear speeds up my pulse.
I can bring you back to life, but eventually my powers will kill you.
It’s started. I can feel it. The way my body is weakening. Now that the darkness has left and my power is contained, I’m trembling from its use, tired. So tired I can’t move.
What do humans do best? They die.
Aithinne crouches next to me and gently lifts my chin to get a better look. “You’ll have to be more careful when you search for the Book. Use your powers sparingly or they’ll rip you apart.”
I pull away from her touch. “How long do I have?”
“That depends,” she says carefully. “If you keep using them like this, not long. If you don’t, you might have more—”
“Aithinne.” Breathe, girl. Just breathe. “How long?”
She looks away. “A few days.”
A few days. And then I’m dead all over again.
I had laughed in the Cailleach’s face when she told me her powers would eventually kill me. Of course there was a price to being brought back. There’s always a price. I didn’t consider that this time around, the repercussions for not finding the Book wouldn’t just be my death: It would be everyone I love having to grieve me once more.
Maybe that’s your curse, Aileana Kameron. Anyone who loves you is doomed to watch you die over and over again.
CHAPTER 15
FOCUS ON something else. Something in your control. I look at the fae Aithinne and I just slaughtered. “Did you mean what you said before? That Kiaran created them just to be killed here?”
“Did you think that just because he took the title King that it would undo two thousand years of him hunting his own kind?” At my frown, Aithinne’s expression hardens. “He hates them.”
I made you the same as me. Kiaran said that to me once, and now I wonder if he was wrong. Maybe he didn’t make me the same. Maybe I made him hate the fae more.
“He doesn’t have to be King,” I say. I hate how childish that sounds. How dangerously na?ve. I know better than anyone what it’s like to be forced into a role I never wanted. He didn’t choose to be King. I didn’t choose to be a Falconer. It was nothing more than an accident of birth.
From Aithinne’s pointed expression, I’d wager she believes me na?ve, too. “When Sorcha restored his powers, she stole his choice. He and I can’t ignore it any more than we can ignore the fact that one of us has to die.” She pushes to her feet and offers me her hand. “And now I need you to delay our war.”
I take her hand and follow her into the woods. Though Aithinne’s pace is fast and determined, her small frown betrays her concern. I almost tell her that I’m sorry. If I had my memory when the Cailleach brought me back, I would never have killed those other fae. Now I’ve forced Aithinne to go to war with Kiaran.
She is the girl whose gift is chaos. Wherever she goes, death follows.
I suppose I can’t help it, can I? I broke the world, and now I’ve started the war. It’s my gift. My purpose. It’s what I was made for.
“Tell me what I need to do,” I say. I ignore the trembling weakness in my body and push through the pain.
“You’ll have to get Kadamach’s attention. He ought to be in something of a listening mood.” She pauses, considering. “I think.”
“You think?”
Aithinne sighs and looks away. “He left another human for me this morning. So he’s recently fed.” Her voice is low, thick. “He’ll be more . . . in control.”
Another human added to the cottage. Another life gone. “For how long?”
“He might hold on longer because he loves you, or not at all because you’re human. I’m not certain.” Aithinne’s gaze catches mine. “No matter how normal he might appear at first, his hunger will always win out. Always. Remember that.”
I ignore the tremor of fear her words bring. I have to focus on the task at hand. “How do I get his attention?”
Aithinne’s smile is slow, brilliant; she’s clearly relieved to be back to a more comfortable topic. “Well, if you want my advice, slaughter his soldiers. He’s bound to notice when they’re all dead outside his gates. He’ll probably watch and fall in love with you all over again.”
“Bloody hell, I’m never asking you for advice on romance in the future. ‘Just kill all the soldiers, Aileana,’” I mock in falsetto, rolling my eyes. “Tell me about finding the Book.”