She dropped her head to my shoulder as her arms dangled at her sides.
I kissed her hair and whispered, “There isn’t a woman in the world who doesn’t have demons of some sort. No matter who I end up with, it’s always going to be a struggle.” I kissed her hair again, letting it linger as if my lips were able to transfer the truth of my words. “Levee, I’d like to struggle with you.”
That should have been my big finish, but she didn’t even acknowledge that she’d heard me. She stood impossibly still in my grasp. She wasn’t moving away, but she wasn’t returning my embrace either. I couldn’t see her face to get a read on her reaction, and after a few moments of silence, it began to unnerve me.
“I meant that in a good way,” I whispered, squeezing her tight.
She tipped her head back to look into my eyes and mumbled, “I’m going to need you to sign a release.”
“Huh?”
“I need you to sign a copyright release, because I’m using every single bit of that speech in a song. Jesus, Sam. ‘I’d like to struggle with you.’ I’m so freaking jealous that I didn’t write that.”
I smiled as she finally circled her arms around my neck. “You can have it. It’s not like I can use it again at this point.”
“I don’t know. You did a pretty nice job at recycling the ‘perfect’ thing.”
“I didn’t recycle—I repurposed,” I exaggerated with a wink.
She laughed then leaned her head back to my shoulder. “Sam, you have no idea what you’re getting into.”
“No one ever does. It’s the beauty of taking risks.”
“Oh my God,” she breathed. “I’ll need a release on that too.”
I chuckled, dropping my hands down to her ass. “Look at me,” I urged with a squeeze.
Reluctantly, her red-rimmed eyes met mine.
“I shouldn’t have stormed out on you the other night, but I swear it won’t ever happen again. You need to talk about…anything. Hell, even if you get sick of me and ditch me for some big-time bazillionaire actor tomorrow, I’m still here.”
She narrowed her eyes.
“I’m just saying, I’m here no matter when, where, or why. I don’t want you holding back because of my history. Okay?” I didn’t care if she answered or if she thought it was okay. It made me feel infinitely better to know I’d put it out there.
“Ugh.” She lolled her head back down. “You’re such a good guy.”
“Not always. I’m a real dick if you try to use my toothbrush in the morning.”
Her shoulders shook as she laughed. They stilled when her lips brushed against my neck. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Good.” I squeezed her ass again.
“This is going to be a train wreck for you, Sam. But I really want to see if we can make something work. I believe I can get better and get my life in order, but struggling with me is exactly what you’ll be doing while I try to find some sort of balance. Besides all my issues, my life is crazy town.” She never looked up as she continued. “There’s no such thing as dinner and movie dates with me. I can’t even leave the house without security. I work nonstop and get recognized virtually everywhere I go. I travel for six months out of every year, and my free time is usually spent at children’s hospitals.” She sighed. “I don’t know how to date anyone anymore, especially someone who isn’t in the industry. The press is going to eat you alive, so we’d have to keep this quiet.”
I could feel her heart pounding against my chest, and her breathing was labored as if she’d just finished a marathon.
“Nobody can know.” Sure, she was talking to me, but she wasn’t telling me anything new. All she’d managed to do was work herself up into a frenzy.