“It’ll work out. One way or another,” Carina whispered into the night. “Trust me, I know Tino. He’s my cosmic twin. He’s got a good soul. He wouldn’t hurt you like that unless he had a good reason.”
“I don’t think you know Tino at all,” Brianna argued as she closed her eyes. “I don’t think any of us do.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Tino stared at the ceiling, watching the flashes of color dance across it in rhythm to the rave music. He was so fucking tired, and he blinked heavily as Meilei ran her fingers through his hair.
“That’s what you get for fucking a Dyker Heights girl,” she chastised not for the first time, and with no little amount of bitterness. “Stick to your own kind.”
“True that,” Bobby agreed and squeezed Tino’s knee, because somehow he ended up taking Carla’s place with Tino’s feet in his lap. “Was she a virgin?”
“Sì,” Tino answered in Italian, because he was still trying to keep his eyes open.
It was three in the morning, and he had been smoking weed all night. Dangerous when he was dealing, but the entire week was sort of hazed out for him.
Not only was Brianna ignoring him.
Carina was too.
Which made life really fantastic when Tino was still fucking to keep his sister from being sold off by her cuntface mother. Now he didn’t even have his escape. He couldn’t close his eyes and visualize Brianna when he knew she hated him.
So it was either drown himself in drugs or end it all.
Sounded overly dramatic, but his life wasn’t exactly stellar to begin with.
“Wow.” Bobby sounded awed, though Tino couldn’t remember what they were talking about. “I wonder what that’s like.”
“It’d just make you more expensive,” Meilei said dismissively. “And the bastards who took it wouldn’t be kind, or maybe you forgot that part. Be happy it’s over.”
Oh.
Virginity.
Right.
Tino had to agree with Bobby.
What the fuck was that like?
“She’s still a virgin,” Tino said, feeling very proud of himself, considering it had taken everything in him not to take what she offered. “I didn’t fuck her. I wanted to. Madonn’, I wanted to, but I didn’t.”
“I understand,” Meilei said without hesitation, which was very nice after everyone else in his life treating him like he was fucking crazy for turning it down. “You don’t want the ugliness to touch her.”
Tino rolled over and wrapped his arms around Meilei. He buried his face against her stomach, smelling expensive perfume, and whispered, “I’m sorry I hurt you, sweetheart,” because she was way too good for someone like him. “I’m an asshole.”
“No, you’re not. You can’t hurt me.” Meilei’s fingers were still in his hair. “You only hurt yourself. You loved the wrong one.”
That was the fucking truth.
Life would be so much easier if he could just love Meilei instead.
Or Carla.
Or even Bobby.
“She seemed nice.” Bobby squeezed Tino’s knee again. “What was it like?”
“It was awesome,” Tino said against Meilei’s stomach as he closed his eyes and remembered lying in bed with Brianna. Holding her. Kissing her. Listening to her. “When I make her come. Cazzo. To listen to her, you’d think it was the greatest thing in the fucking world. It’s like I can actually feel what it’s supposed to be like when you fuck someone. I didn’t even need to fuck her to feel it. I just needed to hear her. To watch her.”
Meilei’s fingers stopped in his hair, and for a second he thought he’d pissed her off again, but instead she asked, “Really?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, unable to taper the admiration he felt for Brianna and the fact that she could give him that. Even if it was gone now, just touching it was something. “It was incredible. I want you to have that, sweetheart. Someone who makes you feel like a goddess.”
Meilei was quiet for a moment, and Tino opened his eyes to see that her dark gaze was glassy before she gave him a smile and said, “I matter,” like she wanted to believe it.
“You do,” he promised her. “You really do. One day, you’ll find your Peter Pan. You’ll be his Wendy. It’ll be amazing for you. I believe that.”
“What about me?” Bobby pushed Tino’s leg. “Where’s my Peter Pan?”
“Bobby, you are Peter Pan,” Tino said with the first genuine smile he’d managed since Brianna walked out of his life.
Bobby laughed, and Meilei laughed with him. For a tiny flash of time, Tino thought he might be able to take a clear breath without the pain crushing the air out of his chest, but then just as quickly, their laughter sobered, and Bobby said, “This is Moretti turf.”
An annoyed female voice cut in over the music. “But you’re here.”
“Tino’s my friend. Everyone knows that.” Bobby sounded indignant. “And Carmine’s not my father.”