Now, seeing the marks on her, knowing that his grandfather had it done in retaliation for what happened in Miami, Tino was almost light-headed with the need to kill someone for it.
His stomach lurched as he caressed the bruises standing out starkly against her pale skin, because as surely as he sat there staring at them, he knew he was the one who had caused them.
For touching her.
Needing her.
Loving her.
“Are they that bad?” Brianna asked as she broke his hold by tugging the tank top on. Then she pulled down the visor and used the light to look at them. Just as quickly, she shut it with a huff. “Whatever. It’s just skin. It heals.”
Tino looked away and stared out the windshield to the hotel.
He still felt physically ill with the image of those marks on Brianna, and he was fighting down the urge to lash out again. He knew he needed to stop using her as an outlet because she was the only one who had been able to see through his bullshit well enough that he didn’t bother trying to fake it.
It wasn’t her fault he felt like someone had just stabbed him.
He was mad at himself.
He was mad at his grandfather.
In some ways he was mad at Carina for being friends with Brianna.
And he was mad at Nova for being too smart for his own good.
Tino would never admit it to his brother, but he was tired of being Nova’s whipping boy. It was one thing when the lashes were just ripping into his skin and marring his soul, but now this power play was hurting Brianna too.
And since he was at it, he was also mad at Romeo, for going to prison and setting all this into action to begin with.
Tino had suffered for a long time.
He had covered up a lot of pain and spent a lot of years laughing and joking around to make it a little less obvious.
Right then, Tino realized he was officially tired of being a good brother.
He loved them all.
But he was done bleeding for them.
He’d had to kill a lot of motherfuckers this week thanks to his grandfather. He nearly watched Alaine get raped and murdered in front of his eyes. In front of Chuito’s eyes. Chuito, who loved Alaine every bit as much as Tino loved Brianna.
So that had seriously fucked Tino up.
He spent a week on a beach in Miami trying to recover from it all.
Confession certainly hadn’t helped.
It would take a while before he found something to smile about again. For the images to fade. It was the first time he’d killed since giving up blow, and he was starting to wonder why the hell he went off cocaine to begin with.
’Cause Nova felt guilty.
Fuck Nova.
He should feel guilty.
Tino was done fighting the good fight that had allowed him to suppress the fury, and now it was rising up after all these years, nearly stealing his breath with the force of it.
“Are you okay?” Brianna asked softly next to him.
Tino turned back to her, still feeling dirty, as if he didn’t deserve to be sitting there next to her, let alone thinking about touching her again.
Even if he had spent the past four years slowly dying without her.
But Tino didn’t tell her any of that.
He didn’t even know how, and the young, in-love part of him didn’t want to tell her. He wanted her to look at him like she had before, when he was pulling his shirt off, and he didn’t want to give her anything to be disgusted about.
And that was when he realized out of everyone, he was angriest with Brianna.
For falling in love with him.
And ruining her life.
Maybe ending it.
There was this very juvenile, very confused part of him that wanted to yell at her for touching someone like him. Someone dirty.
But the only way he could put that into words was to say in a cold, distant voice, “I need a shower.”
“We’ll get a room.” Brianna’s voice was soft, endearing, making him realize too late that he had said that to her one too many times before. “You can have a shower.”
She said it like she knew exactly why he needed one.
She knew why he was dirty.
Somehow she knew what happened in Miami. She always knew.
But she touched him anyway.
Because Brianna made bad life choices.
He was mad at her for it, irrationally furious, but he was going to take a shower and fuck her anyway, ’cause he loved her so much more than he was mad at her.
Chapter Six
“Who are we hiding from?” Brianna asked as she tossed her bag on the chair by the bed.
“Everyone,” Tino said as he locked the door behind them.
He had a briefcase with him, but there were no clothes in it. Just cash and firearms, neither of which she’d been surprised by when he pulled it out of the trunk.