I told him over and over how much he was loved.
Like Nate, I spent most of my time by his bedside. I wouldn’t trade a single minute of it, though. I got to hold his hand as it turned from warm and pink to cold and pale. I got to speak to him long after he stopped speaking back. I got to spend precious moments with him right up until the day he died.
Death is a long, tragic road for those of us left behind, but it can be a blessing for those sick ones who are hurting. As hard as it was to let him go, death was a blessing for my dad. Watching him suffer was unspeakably painful, more so for him, I know. And while artistic license was employed to specifically tailor some parts of this story, the bulk of it is completely accurate, even the horrific parts.
Especially the horrific parts.
Cancer is an evil nemesis.
A killer.
A thief.
It tried to take my mother, too, who was diagnosed with cancer in January 2015. She is still with me, though, and I’m deeply, profoundly grateful for that.
As much as cancer takes from us, it can’t steal our love or our memories. Like these characters, I’m thankful for every day that I was given with my sweet daddy. I treasure those memories like the world’s most expensive jewels. There will come a day when I won’t need them anymore, though. There will come a day when I’ll get to hug him again. Maybe we can even chase lightning bugs in heaven. Who knows? But until then, I’ll just keep writing.
Knowing him and loving him made me who I was up until December third.
Losing him made me who I became on December fourth and every day after.
Thank you for sticking with this, for reading something that is pretty out of character for what I usually write. Some things in life change you. They affect you so profoundly that it’s hard to remember the person you used to be. That’s where I found myself after Dad died. And that’s why I had to write this book. I wanted to write something that matters, not just to me, but to others.
This is my heart, my soul, my pain and my healing all wrapped up in a bow called The Empty Jar. I needed to write this book. It was all I could think about for weeks, and now that it’s done, I know in my heart it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s the thing I’m most proud of in all of my works. I hope my dad would be proud of it, too. Proud of me. Nothing would make me happier.
If you enjoyed this story, if it touched your heart, brought a tear, reminded you of what’s important in life, please tell a friend. I’d love nothing more than for this book to help someone, somewhere, out there in the world. For it to matter. It sure matters to me, and it sure helped me. But there’s only one way that it will make it to those who need it most. And that’s up to you, my amazing, incredible, wonderful readers. You change lives. You may not believe that, but it’s true. You changed mine. And I’ve seen you change others by coming out in support of what you love. So if you loved this and would pass that love along, maybe leave a review as well, I’d be forever grateful. Hopefully someone else will, too.
Thank you.
Truly.
Sincerely.
Always.
Michelle
Acknowledgements
First, I’d like to thank my sweet husband for bearing with me since 2015 when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. That set the pace for one of the worst years of my life. She fought her battle and then rolled right into helping Dad fight his. She’s the Lena in my life. I just hope that I can be her Grace.
But back to my hubby…
You’ve been patient, loving, kind, helpful, thoughtful, and more understanding than I could’ve hoped for. Aside from my father, you’re the best man I’ve ever met. I’m blessed to have you in my life, and it was YOU who showed me how lost Nate is without Lena. That’s how I’d feel without you.
Lost.
I love you, baby.
Always.
Next, I’d like to thank my best friend and crit partner, Courtney Cole. How you put up with me, I’ll never know. Thank you for reading this book (more than once) and for your always-valuable input. I wouldn’t have wanted to walk this writerly road with anyone else. I love you like family. You are definitely in my jar!
I’d also like to thank Kat Grimes. You are like a ray of sunshine. Your kindness and encouragement never fail to brighten my day. You make my life a better one and the world a better place. You are also definitely in my jar.
My minxes. You girls… I just don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m grateful for every day that I get to have you in my life. You’re in my jar.
I’d like to thank Marion Archer. You always have the best insight! Thank you for squeezing me in and for being a sister in the ways that matter. You’re in my jar.?
Paige Smith. Thank you for working with me on such short notice. I can already tell that you’re going into my jar.
Lastly, I’d like to thank each and every reader who embraces this story. You may not know it, but you’re in my jar now, too. Because your love of my work matters to me. You are in my jar. Always.