“You’re bringing me clothes to wear?” I ask, surprised. Nissa does a lot of shopping and buys a lot of clothes that Mark, her husband, doesn’t really take her anywhere to show off. My friend is beautiful and sexy even in her terry cloth robe, but Mark never seems to be quite as impressed by that fact as everyone else. I think Nissa buys the clothes that she does in hopes that her husband will see her the way he used to, but so far it hasn’t worked. At least not that I can tell. Nissa is just as desperate, and Mark is just as oblivious as ever.
“I am. It doesn’t look like I’m ever gonna get to wear ’em, so somebody should. I’d like to see them on a body rather than a hanger before they die a lonely death in my closet. You got a problem with that?” she asks Nate, throwing a little stink eye his way.
Already bored with the conversation, Nate shrugs and returns his attention to the makings of breakfast.
“What’s his deal?” Nissa jerks her thumb over her shoulder to indicate Nate.
It’s my turn to shrug. “Dead-headed. I don’t think he got much sleep last night.”
Nissa’s eyes narrow on me. “I’ll stab him if he’s mean to you.”
At that, a bark of laughter bubbles from my lips. I can’t help thinking she has no idea how way off track her thinking is. “Duly noted.”
“I heard that,” Nate mumbles from what sounds like the inside of a cabinet at the island.
Probably in search of a pan.
Nissa sticks her tongue out at Nate then tosses a sassy wink over her shoulder at me before darting out the back door. She makes her escape before any further commentary can be made.
I watch her cross the short span of grass that separates my patio from hers and see her disappear into her own house.
“Did you decide to tell her?” Nate’s question comes as he reappears in front of the stove, sauté pan in hand.
“No. I’ll tell her after we get back. By then…”
I turn toward the window, my mind racing in a million directions yet always ending up back at the same place—the diagnosis.
The scruff of Nate’s cheek scrubbing lightly over mine brings my attention to him where he has materialized behind me. He wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in his scent, his protection, his love.
“I love you,” he mutters tenderly, his lips moving against the curve of my jaw.
“Are you sure this is what you want, Nate? I need you to be sure. You know I’ll do whatever you want.”
“This is what I want. I promise.”
I close my eyes and let his reassuring words and the certainty in his voice soothe me. Well, at least as much as anything could soothe me at this point.
Three
Take Back the Night
Lena
“And I brought this one for a night out on the streets of gay Paris,” Nissa says with a flourish, holding up a red sheath that fastens over one shoulder, leaving the other one bare.
“Will that be warm enough? According to Google, September temperatures over there can get pretty chilly at night. ”
I don’t mention that I’ve Googled information about the countries we’ll be visiting at least a dozen times and can never seem to retain what I’ve read. My mind always drifts back to our somber reality.
“That’s why I brought this to go with it,” she explains, her smile proud and satisfied as she holds the dress in place with one hand and reaches behind her with the other. From the pile of clothes on the bed, Nissa produces a red silk shawl with a fine silver thread running through it. It’s beautiful. A beautiful shawl for a beautiful dress to be worn in a beautiful place. “And the clutch and shoes that match.”
I take the wispy drape from her, letting the slippery material run slither across my palm. “I never thought it would be like this.” My whisper is unintentional, the words out before I can stop them. They weigh so heavily on my heart, it’s as though my tongue is a flap too flimsy to hold them inside.
Of all the times I’ve fantasized about a romantic trip to Europe with Nate, I’ve never once considered that it might be under these circumstances. I guess no one plans for disaster. Not really.
“Be like what?” Nissa asks.
Startled, I glance up guiltily from my perch on the bed. “I-I just meant that I never really thought I’d get to go. I mean, Europe! After all this time. Finally!” I add the last with as much dramatic flair as possible, smiling widely to better sell my lie.
Nissa’s sharp blue eyes narrow on me, our friendship too old, our relationship too close for her to miss the slip and believe the lie. “Is something else going on?”
“Of course not.” I shake my head and frown, my expression clearly accusing her of being silly.
At least I hope it is.
Nissa lets the red dress drop over her folded arm then pushes the pile of dresses and blouses and lingerie out of the way so she can sit on the bed to face me. “Are you sure? Because you can tell me. Do you think something is going on with him? Him and…and someone else maybe?”