“You don’t have to talk about this,” she said.
“I want to,” Banger said. “After I killed him, I emptied the cash register and bolted. Never spoke to my wife or daughter again—because what would I say?” Again, he paused. “My daughter was autistic. She had this thing where you couldn’t hug her. It just, like, overloaded her system. She’d totally freak out. She’d be eight now. Probably has no idea if I’m alive or dead.” Banger looked away. “So, anyway, yeah—you can judge me.”
It was Zoe’s turn to look at her hands.
“Are you sorry?” she managed.
“God, yes,” said Banger. He pulled off his hat, revealing again the catastrophic bruises that he’d inflicted on himself. “Have you met my forehead?”
Zoe frowned—seeing his forehead the second time was no easier than the first.
“Being sorry’s got to count for something,” she said.
“Does it?” said Banger, as he pulled his hat back on. “I’m not so sure. It’s pretty easy to say you’re sorry—especially once you get caught.”
Zoe asked him if he ever thought of trying to visit his wife and daughter while he was out of the Lowlands.
“I’m too ashamed,” he said. “I’ve had a lot of time to think deep thoughts, and here’s the thing: you can’t do what I did to my family and expect them to forgive you. Hearts are fragile—the good ones, at least. Best thing would be if they decided I was just a bad dream.”
Banger stood, wincing as he unfolded his long limbs. Zoe followed him to the door. The candy in his pockets creaked and crunched with every step.
Outside, the wind was blowing the snow around. After the warm, humid air inside Piping Hot Springs, it came as a shock to the skin. There was a lamp above the door. Banger stood in the small cone of light, as if it would warm him. He rubbed his bare arms, and squinted into the distance.
“You can’t go running around Montana without a coat,” said Zoe.
“What’s it gonna do—kill me?” said Banger.
Zoe groaned at the joke. She went inside and retrieved X’s overcoat. She held it open for Banger.
“You serious?” he said, slipping his arms into the sleeves before she could change her mind. “You are the bomb diggity.”
Zoe rolled her eyes—but fondly. There was no way this guy had ever kept up with slang.
“Will you tell X I love him?” she said. “And will you give him some of the candy?”
“I’ll tell him you love him,” said Banger, “but no way can he have my candy.”
He stepped out of the light, and onto the snow.
“No matter what happens with you and X,” he said, “I’m glad he ran into you. He’s a good dude—and you’ve given him a little bit of a life.”
“Do you think the lords will really set him free?” said Zoe. “Be honest, I can handle it. No, wait—don’t be honest. I can’t handle it.” She released a long, tired breath. “The odds aren’t very good, huh?” she said.
Banger was just a voice in the darkness now.
“Who cares about odds?” he said. “What were the odds that he’d ever meet somebody like you?”
part four
A Divided Heart
fifteen
One more soul.
The words shouted in X’s brain.
He turned on his side in his cell. Despite Ripper’s nursing, his wounds weren’t entirely healed, and they cried out as they scraped the ground. He didn’t care. He lived in his mind now. His body existed only to prop it up.
One. More. Soul.
He could only see Zoe again if he brought the lords a final bounty. He thought of the Overworld—of the hunters with their necklaces of geese, of the cannibals who wore skulls on a rope. How many could you wear before the weight of the dead pulled you to the ground?
He would snatch their soul for them. Of course he would. All that troubled him was how simple it sounded. He turned the phrase “one more soul” over and over in his head. He searched for the trapdoor hidden between the words. What if they required an innocent man? What if they demanded a child? He was consumed with seeing Zoe. Thinking of her, thinking of Jonah—even thinking of their mother who had grown cold toward him—sent a bolt of anguish through him. Still, there were things he would not do, even if the lords commanded him. It was not that he was too noble. He wasn’t. It was that he didn’t want to disappoint Zoe. She would not want horrors committed in her name.