Camryn nods and smiles slimly. “What kinds of things?” she asks.
“Anything. Whatever we want from each other. Like…” I stand up from the sand and bury my hands in my pockets. I gaze out at the ocean, sifting through my mind for the best promise to start with. I can think of only one thing at the moment, so I turn back to her and point my index finger upward and say, “This has nothing to do with the tumor or anything specific, but I want you to promise me that if I’m ever put on life support for any reason and you feel in your heart that I’m not going to pull through, you feel like I’m suffering, that you’ll take me off of it.”
Her smile fades, and she just looks up at me like I ruined the moment. I reach down to her and take her by the hand, bringing her to her feet with me.
“I’m not trying to be morbid. This is just something that’s always bothered me, y’know? You see it on TV and in movies. Some guy is hooked up to every machine known to man trying to keep him alive because the family has hope, or whatever. Nothing wrong with hope, but damn, that shit terrifies me.” I gently wrap my hands around her arms. “Never let me live like a vegetable. Promise me that. You know me better than anyone, and I trust you to know when I’ve had enough. So promise me.”
Slowly, she starts to come around. It takes her a second, but she begins to nod. “Promise me the same,” she says.
I smile and say, “You got it.”
She takes a step back and hides her hands in her sleeves. Wrapping her sweater tight around her body, she begins to pace.
She stops and looks at me. “Promise me that if I ever get Alzheimer’s or dementia, and I don’t remember anyone that you’ll visit me every day and read to me like Noah read to Allie.”
“Who?” I ask, but then it hits me. “Oooh, I see.” I laugh and shake my head at her.
Her eyes and her smile get bigger and she yells, “Andrew! It’s not funny! I’m being serious!” She laughs and I grab her, pulling her into my arms.
“All right, all right!” I say, squeezing her wriggling body against me.
“It was your idea,” she says, “so don’t make a joke out of it.”
“I know. You’re right, but…really? You have to go all Sparks on me?”
I feel her elbow dig into my gut, and I double over a little and overdramatize the pain it caused, my face strained with agony and laughter. To add insult to injury, Camryn gives me a push and knocks me over into the sand. Then she stands directly over me with one foot on each side of my waist, hands propped on her hips all authoritativelike. I keep one hand on my gut, laughing and straining to keep my face straight, though I know damn well I’m not really fooling her.
“Leave it to you to make fun of a very serious moment.” She says this so seriously that it just makes me laugh harder, mainly because it’s so hard for her to keep a straight face.
She starts to sit on me, and she’ll probably try to beat me with her flimsy little hands, but I reach out just before she does and I grab her between the legs and squeeze really hard.
“Owww!” she moans and starts to fall over but I hold her still in the position. “What is it with you grabbing my paarrr—shit, Andrew!—grabbing my parts?!”
I apply more pressure and slowly raise my back from the sand, guiding her backwards. She falls to her knees at eye level with me.
“Because I like it,” I whisper onto her lips. “Now be still.”
The mood between us shifts in a matter of seconds. Her cold skin becomes warmer, her eyes become rapt, her body compliant.
“There’s people out here…,” she tries to say softly, but my hand tightening between her legs steals her voice away.
“I don’t care,” I say, scanning her eyes first and then the plump, wetness of her lips. “They’re far enough away.”
“But… what are you doing…”