Aaron could feel Ellie next to him, but didn’t move. It was the first time he’d seen her properly since their kiss a week earlier at the rock tree, and he still felt on shaky ground. She’d said she’d been working every night. He’d allowed himself to go to the shop only once. She’d waved from behind the register, but it wasn’t a place they could talk.
On the walk up to the lookout he’d hung back, hoping to engineer a few minutes alone with her, but Luke had stuck maddeningly by his side. Ellie gave no sign she was thinking about what had happened at the tree. By the time they’d reached the hill, Aaron was starting to feel he’d imagined the whole thing.
They’d trudged up the trail, Aaron half listening as Luke loudly told some story. Suddenly Ellie looked across and caught his gaze over Luke’s head. She rolled her eyes with exaggerated suffering. Then smiled. A pure, knowing, secret smile meant just for him.
Buoyed now by the memory, Aaron shifted, looking to move a little closer. He turned but stopped short, the movement frozen before it had begun. The light was poor, up there on the lookout, but it was bright enough for Aaron to see some things clearly. Among them, Ellie’s eyes, and the way they were focused on Luke Hadler as he whispered in Gretchen’s ear.
“Luke could be so selfish sometimes,” Gretchen said. She ran a finger through a condensation ring on the table, ruining it. “He would put himself first, second, and third and not even realize it. Didn’t he? It wasn’t just me?” She looked gratified when Falk nodded.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’m having trouble separating the Luke I knew from what people are saying. The Luke I thought I knew, anyway.”
“I always thought Luke was pretty straightforward when we were younger,” Falk said. “He was very open, said what he thought. You might not have always liked it, but at least you knew where you were with him.”
“And now?”
“I don’t know. His bravado drove me nuts, but underneath that I always felt he was one of the good guys.”
“Well. Let’s hope so.” Gretchen rolled her eyes. “I’d hate to think he wasn’t worth it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, nothing.” She looked embarrassed. “Stupid stuff. I just meant becoming friends with him in the first place. And you and Ellie. It changed a lot for me. Kids I wouldn’t give the time of day to started shunning me after Ellie died. Like I was tainted by association. But they were dumb teenage problems compared with everything else. Nothing worth worrying about.”
She couldn’t completely disguise the wistful note in her voice. Falk thought about her wide social circles that had seemed to shrink when she’d become a firm member of their ill-fated foursome. It occurred to him for the first time that without him and without Ellie, golden-haired Gretchen may in fact have found herself lonely. He’d never considered the possibility before. He stretched out his hand and touched her arm.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t better at keeping in touch. It wasn’t that I didn’t care; it was just—” He stopped. “I didn’t think. I should have made the effort.”
Gretchen gave a small smile. “Forget it. I was no better. I blame age and hormones. We were all stupid back then.”
Luke stood and gave an exaggerated stretch. “Going for a piss,” he announced. His teeth glowed white in the shadows. “Don’t get into trouble while I’m gone.”
He disappeared into the bushes, and the remaining three sat shoulder to shoulder. Aaron and Gretchen passed the bottle between them, and he could hear her humming tunelessly to herself. On his other side, Ellie had fixed the horizon with a thousand-yard stare.
The tranquility was broken by a heavy crash and a loud scream. It echoed in the silence. The three looked at each other, faces silvery and shocked, then Aaron was on his feet and running on rubber vodka legs toward the sound. He pulled ahead of the girls, and could hear someone’s panicked, raspy breath behind him. He skidded to a halt at the edge of a sheer drop. The bushes were torn and flattened in a rough patch. Branches near the edge were snapped clean off.
“Luke!” Gretchen appeared by his side and screamed into the void. Her voice bounced back, crying his name on repeat. There was no reply. Falk dropped onto all fours and crept to the edge. He peered down, afraid of what he would see. The drop was more than a hundred meters. The bottom disappeared in the gloom.
“Luke! Mate! Can you hear me?” he yelled.
Gretchen was crying, her face a wet mess. Ellie arrived behind her, edging through the bushes. Walking, not running. Falk’s breath was a deafening roar in his ears. Ellie’s sober gaze wandered over the trampled bush. She turned and surveyed the bushland behind them, her eyes lingering on the shadows of the trees. Stepping toward the edge of the cliff, she peered once into the abyss. She looked straight at Aaron and gave a tiny shrug.
“The dickhead’s faking it.”
She turned and picked something invisible off one of her fingernails.
“I actually wondered if you and Luke would stay together,” Falk said. “He was self-centered, but he always had a genuine soft spot for you.”
Gretchen’s small laugh had a bite to it.
“And be a sidekick in the Luke Show, 24-7? No, thanks.” She sighed. Her voice lost its edge. “We did try for a couple of years, after you left. It felt serious at the time, but it was kids’ stuff really. I think at heart we were both trying to keep the foursome together somehow. It fell apart, though. Of course.”
“Bad ending?”
“Oh. No.” She looked up and gave a tight smile. “Not especially. No worse than the usual, anyway. We just grew up. He got married; I had Lachie. Anyway, Luke was never right for me. I know that now.” She blinked. “I mean, even before all this with Karen and Billy happened.”
There was a clumsy pause.
“So Luke never spoke about me? After you left, I mean.” Gretchen’s casual tone failed to mask her curiosity.
Falk hesitated. “We didn’t really discuss Kiewarra at all if we could help it. Kind of made a point of it. I’d ask after you, of course, and he said you were well, that he’d seen you out and about. That sort of thing, but…” He trailed off, keen not to hurt her feelings. In fact, Luke had barely mentioned Gretchen unless prompted. Falk was surprised to learn now that they’d continued to date for more than a few months. Luke had always made their relationship sound like something soon abandoned.
“I was quite surprised Luke ended up staying in Kiewarra,” Gretchen said. “After you left, for a while all he talked about was getting out. He had plans to go to Melbourne and study engineering. Work on the big projects.”
“Did he?” That was news to Falk. Luke had never mentioned it. Never once asked for his help, a job reference, a place to crash in the city. “Why didn’t he go?”
Gretchen shrugged.
“I guess eventually he met Karen. It’s always been hard to know what Luke really wanted, though.” She paused. Repositioned her wineglass on the table. “You know, I reckon if she’d lived, Luke would actually have ended up with Ellie. She was more his type than me. Probably more his type than Karen even, for that matter.”