When I got back to my desk I opened all of my Black Soul files. But I just wasn’t mentally ready to start working on them yet. The last thing I wanted to do was give Henry what he wanted. He’d interrupted my entire day. Plus, now my planner was all out of order. He was the absolute worst!
Out of spite, I picked up my cell phone.
Henry would get the updates when I was finished with them. Which might be today. Or maybe tomorrow. Or maybe I wouldn’t do them after all and he could make the adjustments himself.
Wasn’t that a crazy thought?
Vera answered on the third ring. “What up, Molls? Are you at work?”
She was in a kitchen somewhere if the sound of clanking dishes, pots and pans was any indication. Immediately, I felt better, more relaxed. When everything felt crazy, jumbled and out of my control, she was the pillar that kept me anchored to sanity.
“Yes. Remind me why though?” I begged her, hoping to keep the real emotion out of my voice. “I vaguely remember winning the lottery. Tell me it was real.”
“First, stop buying scratch tickets. They never solve your problems. Second, you love health insurance. That’s why you’re at work.” Her voice gentled. “Have you had a bad day?”
“Super bad,” I admitted. “Unless those scratch tickets end up paying off.”
“They won’t,” she laughed. “Sorry to burst your bubble.”
I groaned. “Pretty sure my bubble was already popped.”
“Well, hey, I have news that might perk you up.”
“Give it to me,” I sighed. “Give me the will to work again.”
Vera’s laugh indicated that she was super excited to share her information with me. My curiosity was instantly piqued.
I heard a door open and close as she moved to a quieter space. Her voice dropped low and she said, “I overheard Killian on the phone with Ezra. Apparently, he wants to take you on a legit date. He wanted Killian’s advice on how not to screw this up with you.”
“Oh, no,” I whispered. “Oh, no!”
Of course Vera knew everything about Ezra and me. Because I’d told her everything. There was nothing else to do after my worst-case scenario reaction on Saturday than invite my BFF over, ply her with wine and ice cream, and confess all of the kissing, flirting, and running away like a giant chicken I did. Afterward, she’d graciously analyzed every single nuance with me until she was convinced we were going to have a double wedding—our childhood dream—and I confirmed she was insane.
She had reacted exactly like I’d expected her to—with massive congratulations and a wedding lecture like I had never heard before.
She had so many opinions on flowers and dresses and groom’s cakes. But after that, I had shared all of my fears and concerns. She had sympathized like I knew she would and together we’d decided that I should calm down and take this one day at a time.
I didn’t have to have all of the answers with Ezra right this second. I didn’t have to know how every single thing would play out or what would happen to us or if we would get past the first date. I just needed to make the best of today.
It was wise advice that I immediately took to heart.
I had been failing miserably doing that until just now.
“Molly, you can’t hide from him forever.” Her voice dropped to a whisper indicating that her fiancé was in listening distance. “From what I heard Killian say to him, I’m not even sure Ezra realizes you’re hiding from him. I think he’s just been so focused on work that he might think this is normal. No offense! Things at Bianca are tense.”
“Son of a bitch,” I growled. It wasn’t that I wanted to make this great big I’m-avoiding-you statement. It just complicated my feelings for him. I’d wrongly assumed he was avoiding me on purpose, because of some flaw or miscommunication. But if he’d been swamped with work and I’d turned this into something that it was not, then the stupid softening of my heart and anticipatory sighing of my girly bits could be a problem.
I had already decided that we couldn’t date. I didn’t even want to date him. Okay, fine, that was a dirty, filthy lie. But I only wanted to date him in theory. I couldn’t actually date him. Not if I enjoyed an intact heart and not having to hear about a fabulous new EFB Enterprises restaurant named Molly.
Vera made an impatient sound in the back of her throat. “Are you really that worried about going on one date with the man? I mean, Molly, he’s freaking gorgeous. And he’s a really good guy. He’s dependable and loyal and secretly nice. At least get a free meal and solid make out from him. You’re too uptight these days. You need a good lay.”
“Oh, my god. Vera May Delane! Don’t be gross!”
She laughed on her end of the phone. “Come on, be honest. When’s the last time you got some good, mind-blowing action.”
Wrinkling my nose, I confessed, “Um, college? No, it was before then. Er, that guy I dated from senior chemistry? What was his name… Josh?”
“Jed?” Vera guessed too. “Jake!”
“Jake Begley. Good lord, he was hot.”
“And dumb. Remember how he thought the periodic table was an actual table. He kept looking for it in the chem lab all year.”
I snorted. “That’s not true.”
“Mmm, pretty sure it’s true.”
“Well, the dummy could kiss. That’s all I cared about.”
“Do you hear yourself? Your last good kiss was in high school, Molly! That’s like a crime against your adult self! You deserve a hot date with expensive food and good drinks and a sexy, sexy man.”
“Who’s a sexy man?” I heard Killian ask in the background.
Embarrassed that he’d heard so much of Vera’s side of the conversation, I lay my forehead on the edge of my desk and talked to my shoes. “I don’t want to lead him on.” Or me.
“He’s a big boy,” she argued. “He’ll be okay. Or not. The disappointment of not wooing the most incredible woman he’s ever met might be his undoing. But either way, you can’t blame yourself. If you’re not into him, you’re not into him and so be it. But you should at least let yourself try.”
That wasn’t it at all. I was into Ezra—too into him. So into him I knew I was headed for epic disappointment and the utter annihilation of my heart. “Vera, I’m scared.”
She was silent for a few moments, then finally she said, “Cook for him.”
“Uh, what?”
“Cook for him,” she ordered.
“Vera, I said I wanted to keep my distance, not commit accidental homicide. I’m just not ready to go on a real date.”
“So cook for him,” she repeated. “Then you won’t feel the whole date-induced pressure because you’re at some super fancy restaurant and he’ll have to face the cold, hard truth that you hate food. That might be enough of a deal breaker for him to back off all by himself.”
“Hey!” I protested.
“At the very least, it will buy you time before you have to speak to him again.”
“Okay, maybe that’s not a terrible idea.”
“It’s a genius idea!” she gloated. “You’re welcome. As payment, Killian and I will accept the reservations at whatever exclusive restaurant Ezra was planning on taking you to. I think that is only fair.”