I saw what Vera had now. I’d witnessed how special it could be. Killian cherished her. He thought about her needs first and bent over backward to make her happy. Of course they still fought and they were learning to live together, which was not an easy transition according to her. But he respected her and loved her and made her feel loved.
That was what I wanted. It wasn’t that I was jealous that Vera had Killian. I was jealous of what Vera and Killian had because I so badly wanted it for myself.
Before them, I hadn’t held a whole lot of hope for relationships. My parents hated each other. Vera’s dad had spent his entire life in a kind of grieving misery over his dead wife. I had never had a stellar example of real love until Vera and Killian. Seeing the real deal had awoken some kind of love-hungry beast inside me.
I could no longer be satisfied with casual dating or meaningless hookups. I could no longer wait out my twenties or my thirties or the rest of my single life because it didn’t matter.
It did matter.
I mattered.
And I deserved a relationship with someone that believed that too.
But I couldn’t tell Ezra any of that. So I said, “You barely know me.”
Turning down a quiet, tree-lined street, he pulled into Killian’s driveway and idled for a minute before he said, “Killian’s been my friend since we were kids. I’ve known him longer than I’ve known my sister. Ask him if he’s ever ridden in my car.” He paused and then added, “I might not know you yet, but I want to. I want to know all of you.”
Then he got out of the car, walked around to my side and opened the door for me.
Skeptical meet chivalrous.
There wasn’t a whole lot left for me to do except follow him. And internally analyze what that meant for the rest of my entire life the night.
Chapter Fourteen
Vera met us at the door, swinging it open before we could knock. “You guys made it! And at the same time. I’m impressed, Molly. You’re on time for once in your life!” She laughed at her own joke. “But where did you park?”
Ezra squeezed by her and threw out a casual, “We rode together.”
Vera’s eyes bugged. “You did what?”
“It’s true,” I told her in a softer voice. “He picked me up so we could work on his website on the way.”
“Wh-what?”
I pulled her onto the porch, as far away from Ezra as I could without making a scene. “He wanted to work on stuff tonight at your house, but I told him I wouldn’t do that. So he said he’d pick me up and we could work on the way here.”
Her nose wrinkled. “Is that what you did?”
My cheeks flamed. “Er, no. We didn’t actually get around to it.”
“What does that mean?” she whisper-shouted.
Having no idea what kind of perverted thoughts were running rampant in her head, I quickly assured her. “We just talked. That’s all. It was kind of… nice.”
“You just talked?” she asked and I nodded. “I would have been less surprised if you told me you gave him a blow job on the way over.”
I slapped her arm. “Oh my god!”
She made a “duh” face. “Molly, you rode in a car with Ezra Baptiste and talked to him the entire time! I mean, are you serious?”
“It’s not that big of a deal. Stop making it weird.”
“I’m not making it weird. It is weird. It just is. I mean, what did you talk about if you didn’t talk about graphic design stuff? I didn’t even know Ezra was capable of having a conversation that revolved around anything besides work.”
“Let’s go inside, nosey. I think I smell something burning.”
Vera perked up, jumping into action. “My Brussels sprouts!”
I followed her inside and shut the door behind me. Vera raced toward the kitchen while I moved at a much slower pace. Killian had owned the bungalow he shared with Vera before they met, but since she had lived with her dad until recently, it had made sense that she move in with him.
The house was still mostly all Killian, but Vera was slowly making her mark. Framed pictures of the two of them were scattered on bookcases and end tables. Vera had ordered decorative pillows for Killian’s leather couch and chairs. Wedding odds and ends were strewn about, boxes of invitations that hadn’t been sent out yet and swatches of colors piled sporadically. This wasn’t my first time hanging out here, but every time I came over it felt more and more familiar, more and more like Vera.
Everybody had gathered in the kitchen. While Killian and Vera moved around, testing sauces and braising things or doing whatever it was that they did, Ezra had joined Vann by a cheese platter. The two men stood with beers in their hand picking at lavosh crackers and salami.
After Vera verbally assaulted me outside, I felt awkward and out of place. These were my people, well, except for Ezra. I should feel totally at home here. Vann was basically my brother. And over the past few months, I’d gotten to know Killian and fallen in platonic love with him. And of course Vera, who was my soul sister, my kindred spirit, my ride or die best bitch.
But now the atmosphere was tense, strained with uncertainty. It would be perfectly normal for me to become friends with Ezra. It would be weird if we weren’t friends. But I didn’t know how to do that.
I want to know all of you.
Was that what friends said to each other? I shivered. No, no it was not.
I glanced over at him and found him already looking at me. The corner of his mouth lifted in a secretive smile and my heart jumped into my throat and stayed there. His gaze warmed and softened and did all kinds of magical things that weren’t humanly possible in thirty seconds.
“So, Molly, what’s the Alfa like?” Killian asked.
It’s at this point I would like to amend my earlier statement in which I claimed Killian and I had gotten close. Okay, we had in a way. But he was still one of the hottest chefs in the country, and therefore, super intimidating. Not just because of his success, but also because he was scary as shit when he wanted to be.
“The what?” I asked because I had no idea what he was talking about.
“The car,” he clarified with a mean look at Ezra. “The one not even his sister is allowed to ride in.”
“Oh, stop,” Ezra ordered. “It’s not that she’s not allowed to ride in it. It’s just that I don’t trust her not to spill something all over it. She’s messy.”
Killian tugged on his long beard. “Okay, but I’m not messy.”
Ezra reached for another cracker. “You also don’t want a ride. You want to drive it. And that’s not happening.”
Killian snorted. “I’d settle for a ride. You’ve never even offered.”
I shared a look with Vera and swallowed a laugh. “Killian, are you jealous?”
He turned and focused his glare at me. “Do you know how much shit I put up with from this guy? I don’t even work for him anymore and I still have to deal with his bullshit. And then he buys a sweet ass car and won’t even let me sit in it. Explain to me how that’s fair, Molly.”
“It’s not fair, Killian. I definitely think he owes you a test drive.” I plopped my chin in one hand and reached for a grape from the cheeseboard with the other. “At the very least you should be allowed to take it on a road trip. I mean, if it were my car, I would let you.”