“You doan sound overjoyed by that.”
“I think having a baby is the craziest thing anyone could do during an apocalypse, much less during a deadly game. At best, I’m no longer bulletproof. At worst, it’s draining my body.”
All of my bottled-up thoughts spilled out: “And how could this kid be normal? Just weeks before I got pregnant, zombies dined on me. Since then, I’ve been bitten by a viper, caught in an avalanche, stabbed, starved, and nearly parboiled by Richter. And it’s not like I can run out and get a sonogram. Not to mention that my grandmother warned me that Life and Death would become something dire. I’m probably carrying the Antichrist. Of course, she was half-crazed when she told me that—which reminds me: great genes I’m passing on.”
“Wait. Circe said her godson. If you haven’t had a sonogram, how’d she know it’s a boy?”
“She sensed it, because she’s a witch.”
“Then couldn’t she sense if anything was wrong?”
Huh. Good point. But then, Circe’s judgment might be off. Aside from her mental decline, her likes included an occasional bloody sacrifice and being a sea monster.
“What’d the Priestess say about your pregnancy?”
I admitted, “She made it sound like the kid had shielded me from Paul’s reversal power, his dark calling. It doesn’t work on humans, and the baby might be a regular mortal.”
“That’s something, non?”
“Circe’s probably biased. She thinks this baby could usher in a new era—the key to saving the world. She called me Mother Earth and reminded me that my powers and history were all about birth and rebirth.”
“A new era?” Jack said, a wistful note underscoring his words. “You believe something like that could happen?”
I sighed. “Could this development affect future games? Yes. But I don’t think my having a kid will make the sun shine again. I’m coming to accept that only the natural conclusion of the game can do that.” This subject always made my head hurt. “Jack, I understand if you want to bow out of this mission. I mean, this is really messed up.”
“I woan stop until you’re safe. Being out in the Ash is a certain death-sentence. Being out here when pregnant? You might as well have a target on your back.”
“Which means you’ll have one as long as you’re close to me.”
“I was never goan to live long anyway. I figure the average survival time out here is a year. I’m not average, so maybe I can eke out three more years. If I make it to twenty-three, I’ll do a jig, me.”
So how could I bear ever to be separated from him again? If Aric returned to normal, and I returned to him, Jack would leave. I’d never see him again.
“We’ve got to get you safe in that castle, now more than ever. That stronghold is your only hope. Come hell or high water”—we’d experienced both recently—“you’re goan to be there when you give birth.”
I nibbled my bottom lip. “How can you want to help me when I’m knocked up by another man?”
“You think I’m goan to abandon you, just ’cause you’re pregnant? That’s something my father might’ve done, but I ain’t him.” Emotion simmered in Jack’s gray eyes. “I’ll help you no matter what, Evangeline. I always will.”
I couldn’t accept this. There was no upside for him—only more Arcana madness, Death, and death. When Jack had decided to let me make a future with Aric, he’d been free for a time. “We aren’t . . . together anymore. How can you risk your life for mine?”
He shot me a look like I’d gone crazy. “How can you ask that? You got my heart in your hand. I told you—I’m not ever getting it back.”
I had his heart in my hand, and he had my thorn in his paw. I almost felt like I’d . . . doomed him somehow along the way.
Never meaning to, but done all the same. I rubbed my aching brow. “What will happen now?”
“I doan want to put pressure on you with another choice, so let me tell you how this is goan to go. If Domīnija can be saved, and I trust that he woan give in to that rage again, then I’ll let you two get back to your life. If we can’t save him, we’ll defeat him and take that castle. You and me’ll live there and raise this kid for as long as we can hold on.”
My breath caught. Jack was offering to raise Aric’s son?
From the back, Joules said, “I know what I’m hoping for.”
I shot him a look. He shrugged and closed his eyes again.
Facing Jack, I said, “There’s something else you need to know. I can’t win this game. I’d rather die than become immortal.”
“Look on the bright side, peek?n.” He stared out into the night. “You probably woan get a choice about that either.”
25
The Hunter Day 553 A.F.
I’d just opened a gas can when Joules climbed down from the truck to join me. “This rig’s a right beauty, huh?” he said.
“That she is.” Though the extended-range tank held thousands of miles’ worth of fuel, we’d hit empty. Luckily, Kentarch had spare cans in the back. Time to feed the Beast.
For the last two days, we’d been making slow progress, catching naps in the cab.
I’d left Evie asleep in the front seat. She’d looked exhausted, her lashes fanning out against the purple smudges under her eyes. I’d brushed her hair from her forehead and murmured, “à moi.” But she wasn’t mine. Not anymore.
“Sooo,” Joules began, “your girl’s up the duff with the Reaper’s spawn. How’re you taking that news?”
Conflicted as ever. Evie was going to be a mother, would soon have another man’s son.
I told myself this over and over. Still, I needed to draw her to me every time I caught a thread of her honeysuckle scent. And that kiss at the lake? She’d been telling me something with that kiss, something I was desperate to hear.
She loved me just as much as she ever had, maybe even more. But knowing that only made this situation harder. “I’ve heard better news.” Elle me hante. She haunts me.
“What’s your play now, hunter?”
The last thing she needed after all she’d been through—and in her condition—was me putting pressure on her. The weird part about it: I got the feeling she expected me to. “Stay the course,” I said, no matter how badly I wanted to tell her that we’d run away together.
My old issues remained. I had nothing to give her. She needed food and safety more than ever. She needed to be back in Death’s castle.
Our dream of Haven would never have worked without food and supplies.
“You really believe Circe’s goin’ to save the day with some kind of weapon?”
I emptied one can, then grabbed another. “Got to.”
“Then let’s think about how we’ll use it. Instead of a Reaper rescue mission, let’s plan a hostile takeover. We sack the castle, you and the Empress set up house, and we all ride out the apocalypse.”
So unbelievably tempting. But . . . “A kid belongs with his father.”
And damn it, I owed Domīnija for Evie’s life. For mine as well.