“I’m sorry,” I say again. “I know this was a good chance to go and assess their capabilities.”
“Oh, we’ll still go. This is too important, for many reasons other than the opportunity you presented.” He calls for the guards. “Bring her in!”
I turn toward the door as Thyra is led in. She looks pale and walks stiffly, though she is not shackled. I stare, wondering what has been done to her in the last two days. Though I despise her for lying to me, for not being who I always thought she was, I take no pleasure in the pained look on her face. “Thyra?”
Her gaze lingers on mine for a long moment before shifting to her uncle. “How nice to see you again, Uncle. Your warriors have faithfully—and frequently—offered me your greetings these past few days.”
Nisse smiles. “I’m so glad we were able to bring you back into our circle of protection, Thyra. You’re lucky we found you before you stumbled into a dangerous part of town.” He approaches her, and she tenses but refuses to backtrack as he nears. “And you’ll be seeing a great deal of me over the next few days, it seems.” He lets that sink in before adding, “We’re riding to Kupari. We leave immediately.”
Her eyes go wide as he instructs her guards to take her back to her chamber and help her pack for the journey. Nisse’s hand settles on my back. “See? Despite her betrayal and ongoing treachery, I respect your chieftain.” There is a question in his eyes, though, as if he is wondering whether she still has my allegiance.
“Is she your hostage?” I ask.
He chuckles. “What an unpleasant way of putting things. I am merely keeping my niece close, because I recognize her importance. Though I also recognize that she may present . . . a temptation.”
I swallow hard. “To me?”
He smiles. “To many.” He pats my back. “Now. You go rest. We’ll be back in a few days, and I want to see your progress.” The mirth in his eyes disappears, replaced by determination. “You could be our salvation, Ansa. The treasure of the Krigere. I hope you recognize how much you mean to us. Do not question your worth. And don’t let anyone else do it, either.”
He calls Sander and the others to escort me to my chamber, and once again I trudge away from his council room, my head packed so full of information and questions that I can’t think straight. Do not question your worth, he said. But right now—with Thyra being taken to Kupari, with Halina glaring at me as if I’m failing some important test, with the entire future of the Krigere depending on my ability to control and wield a cursed magic that I don’t understand and that might well kill me, against a people I once belonged to—I am questioning everything.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I am moved to a chamber on one of the top floors of the castle, in time to have a view of Nisse, Thyra, and a squad of his warriors leaving the protection of the tower and the stake-wall to ride through the city, on the road to Kupari. Thyra has been given a helmet and new cloak, as well as a sword that is probably too heavy for her to wield competently.
But Nisse wants to put on a show, I suspect, and so he gives her the weapons they fear, because they don’t understand us. I hope it works. He is taking a tiny force into enemy territory.
I am left behind with all my questions, fearing the march of the sun through the sky. Halina is back to being quiet and cautious, gentle but remote. I tell her that Thyra has been taken, and she doesn’t seem surprised.
She says nothing more to me about helping her, and I am glad. In knowing her, I’ve come to wish no harm on the Vasterutians, but they cannot be my people.
Truthfully, I don’t know who my people are anymore.
I fit with the Krigere so neatly, or so I always told myself. I took so much pleasure every time a true Krigere told me I was one of them. I took pride in being a victor, and security in being part of a tribe so strong that no one could tear us apart and take me away.
Like they had torn me away from my Kupari family.
I don’t know where I belong now. The loss eats at me, loneliness with teeth.
Jaspar comes to see me only a few hours after his father leaves the city. I look at him with surprise as he enters my chamber. “I thought you would go with them.”
His smile contains a hint of bitterness. “Someone had to be in charge while the chieftain was away.”
“But you wanted to go.” I watch him as he walks to the window and peers out. “Do you miss sleeping under the stars and raiding in the morning?”
“Ah. You know me too well.” He leans on the stone sill. “Shall we walk? I think we both need the air.”
I glance nervously at the door. “I’m not eager to face more hateful stares.”
“Come.” His smile is warm as sunlight. “You’ll breathe free when we’re up high.” When I don’t move, he goes to the door and opens it. “You’ll feel like a bird, I promise.”