I mentally thumbed through my list of suitors. Kile’s sweetness, Fox’s enthusiasm, Henri’s joy … these were all things that drew me in. But, beyond that, was there something beautiful and lasting?
I still didn’t know. But finding out no longer looked so frightening.
I shook the thought away for the moment and headed into the parlor. Sure enough, Dad’s glasses were sitting, unfolded and upside down, on a pile of books. I carried them toward his room, still wondering about the future. In an effort to keep from waking Mom, in case she was sleeping, I knocked on the door to his personal study.
“Yes?” he called.
I walked in to find Dad at his desk, squinting at some papers.
“I found these,” I said, holding up his glasses and wiggling them between my fingers.
“Ah! You’re a lifesaver. Where’s Aspen?” he asked, happily taking the glasses and popping them on his face.
“I told him to take the day off. He seemed a little down.”
Dad’s head snapped up. “Was he? I didn’t notice.”
“Yes. He, and I think maybe Miss Lucy, are having a bad day.”
At the mention of her name, he seemed to understand.
“Well, now I feel awful for not saying something.” He leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his temple.
“Have you been sleeping much?” I asked, fiddling with a paperweight.
He smiled. “I’m trying, honey, really. But if your mom makes so much as a peep, I’m instantly awake, and I end up watching her for an hour before I’m calm enough to sleep again. That heart attack sneaked up on us. If anything, I’d have expected for something to happen to me.”
I nodded. So many times recently I’d found myself watching him, wondering if he was okay. But Mom? She blindsided us all.
“Your mom keeps talking about going on the Report tomorrow like it’s some sign of things getting back to normal. As if, since she can do that, I should go back to work. And I know the second I go back to work, she will, too. I’m not saying I want her to sit around and twiddle her thumbs, but the thought of her going back to being the queen, all day, every day … I don’t know how to take it.”
He rubbed his eyes and gave me a humorless smile. “And the truth is, it’s been nice to pause, take a breath. I don’t think I realized how hard I’d been running until I had to stop.” He looked up at me. “I can’t remember the last time I had ten undisturbed hours with my wife. She’s got these pretty little laugh lines by her eyes.”
I smiled. “Well, you tell a lot of horrible jokes, Dad.”
He nodded. “What can I say? I’m a man of many talents. But that’s almost as hard to take: when she goes back to being queen, I need to go back to being king. And I don’t know when I’ll get another week like this, where it’s just her and me.”
“So, what if she didn’t?”
He squinted. “What do you mean?”
“Well …” It had been circulating in my head since the town hall meeting yesterday. I’d probably never be able to help all my people, but I could reach a few. That thought thrilled me more than I imagined possible. And, at the very least, I could help my parents, which recently started feeling like a monumental accomplishment. Still, as the words came out, I knew they were pure insanity. “What if she wasn’t queen anymore? What if I was?”
Dad stilled, staring at me in disbelief.
“I don’t mean it as an insult,” I stammered. “I know you’re fully able to lead … but you’re right. Mom’s going to want to go back to the complete role of being a queen. If I was queen, she’d have to do something else.”
His eyes widened as if he hadn’t considered this option.
“And if she wasn’t queen and you weren’t king, and this time it happened to be while she wasn’t recovering from a heart attack, maybe you could do more than sit around. Maybe you could travel or something.”
He blinked, astonished at the possibility.
“We could do it this week even. I can have a coronation dress made, Lady Brice and Neena can organize everything, and you know General Leger would make sure the entire event was safe. You wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.”
He swallowed, looking away. “Please, Dad, I don’t mean it as an insult. I—”
He held up a hand, and I silenced myself, stunned to see tears in his eyes when he turned back to me. “I’m not insulted,” he answered gruffly before clearing his throat. “I’m just so proud of you.”
I smiled. “So … you’ll let me ascend?”
“You’ll have a difficult time,” he said seriously. “The people are restless.”
“I know. I’m not scared. Well, not that scared.”
We shared a laugh. “You’ll be wonderful.”
I shrugged. “I’m no you. And I’m definitely no Mom. But I can do this. I have help, and I’ll still have the both of you. And between all of us, I’ll probably come out looking like a decent queen.”