‘So. How’s he doing?’ Hurtig asks.
‘It’s under control. Right now the worst thing is not knowing what happened to him.’
‘I can understand that, but I suppose that’s something you can talk about once he’s better and is allowed home. Don’t you think?’
‘Sure.’ Jeanette sighs before she goes on. ‘But sitting on my own in that silence is driving me mad.’
‘Hasn’t ?ke been?’
Jeanette shrugs. ‘?ke’s got his exhibition in Poland; he wanted to come home, but when we found Johan, then …’ She shrugs again. ‘Well, there wasn’t much he could do.’
Jeanette can see that Hurtig wants to say something, but cuts him off.
‘And what does Billing say?’
‘You mean apart from saying he thinks you should stay at home with Johan, it’s your fault he ran away, and that it’s your fault ?ke wants a divorce?’
‘He said that? Fucking snake.’
‘Yep. Came right out with it, no beating about the bush.’ He raises his eyebrows.
Jeanette feels exhausted and useless.
‘Goddamnit,’ she mutters, and looks around the room.
Hurtig sits in silence, pulls a piece off his bun and pops it in his mouth. She can see something’s troubling him.
‘What is it? What’s on your mind?’
‘You haven’t let go of it, have you?’ he says tentatively. ‘It’s pretty obvious. You’re pissed off that we were taken off the case.’ He brushes away some crumbs that have caught in his stubble.
‘Jens, listen to me …’ She thinks for a moment. ‘I’m just as frustrated as you are about what happened, and I think it’s fucking awful, but at the same time I’m smart enough to realise that it isn’t economically justifiable to –’
‘Refugee children. Illegal fucking refugee children … not economically justified. It makes me sick.’ Hurtig gets to his feet, and Jeanette can see how angry he is.
‘Sit down, Jens. I haven’t finished.’ She’s surprised she can sound so firm even though she feels utterly exhausted.
Hurtig sighs and sits down again.
‘This is what we do … I have to look after Johan, and I don’t know how long that’s going to take.’ She pauses before going on. ‘But you know as well as I do that there’ll be some time for other things … if you understand what I mean?’ She sees a flash in Hurtig’s eyes, and feels something flaring up inside her as well. A feeling she’d almost forgotten. Enthusiasm.
‘You mean we continue, but in the dark?’
‘Exactly. This has to stay between us. If it gets out, then we’re both finished.’
Hurtig smiles. ‘Actually, I’ve already put out a few feelers that I’m hoping to get replies about this week.’
‘Good, Jens,’ Jeanette says, returning his smile. ‘I’m with you on this, but we’ve got to do it properly. Who have you contacted?’
‘According to Ivo Andri?, the boy from Thorildsplan had traces of penicillin in his body, as well as all the other drugs and anaesthetic.’
‘Penicillin? Meaning what?’
‘That the boy had been in contact with the health services. Probably with some doctor working with hidden, undocumented refugees. I know a woman who works in the Swedish Church, she’s promised to help me with possible names.’
‘Sounds excellent. I’m still in touch with the UNHCR in Geneva.’ Jeanette can feel the future slowly coming back to her. There is one, not just a bottomless present. ‘And I’ve got another idea.’
Hurtig looks at her expectantly.
‘What do you think about getting a profile of the perpetrator?’
Hurtig looks surprised. ‘But how can we get a psychologist to take part in an unofficial …’ he begins, then the penny drops. ‘Aha, you mean Sofia Zetterlund?’
Jeanette nods. ‘Yes, but I haven’t asked her yet. I wanted to check with you first.’
‘Hell, Jeanette,’ Hurtig says with a broad grin. ‘You’re the best boss I’ve ever had.’
Jeanette can see he really means it.
‘Much appreciated. I’m not feeling too hot at the moment.’
She thinks about Johan, and her separation from ?ke. Right now she has no idea about her personal future. Is this lonely vigil at Johan’s side a taste of how things are going to be? Definitive loneliness.
?ke has moved in with his new woman.
Alexandra Kowalska. Jeanette contemplates her with some bitterness. Restorer, it had said on her business card. That sounded like the sort of person who tries to breathe fresh life into something that’s dead.
Has ?ke moved out for good? She doesn’t know. But it might be as well if he did. He’s taken the first step, and now it’s up to her to give him – and perhaps herself – a bit of a push.
‘Shall we go out for a cigarette?’ Hurtig stands up, as if realising that he needed to interrupt Jeanette’s thoughts.
‘But you don’t smoke?’
‘Sometimes you can make an exception.’ He pulls a pack from his pocket and passes it to her. ‘I don’t know anything about cigarettes, but I got these for you.’
Jeanette looks at the pack and laughs. ‘Menthol?’
They put on their jackets and go outside the main entrance. The rain has started to ease, and over on the horizon they can just make out a bright strip of better weather. Hurtig lights a cigarette and gives it to Jeanette, then lights one for himself. He takes a deep drag, coughs, then blows the smoke out through his nose.
‘Are you going to keep the house if you and ?ke split up?’ he asks. ‘Can you afford it?’
‘I don’t know. But I’m going to have to try to make it work for Johan’s sake. Besides, things seem to have taken off for ?ke, and his pictures have started to sell.’
‘Yes, I read the review in Dagens Nyheter. They were over the moon.’
‘It feels ever so slightly bitter, subsidising his work for twenty years and then not being allowed to reap the rewards.’
She would never have believed that she and Johan meant so little that he could just turn his back on them and walk out.
Hurtig looks at her, stubs out his cigarette and holds the door open. ‘Up like the sun, down like a pancake …’
He gives her a hug, and she realises she needs one. She reflects that signs of affection can be as hollow as dying trees. She feels that she has no ability to differentiate the dead from the living as she steels herself to return to Johan’s side in the silence of the room.
Vita Bergen – Sofia Zetterlund’s Apartment
SOFIA ZETTERLUND TURNS off her computer and folds it shut. Now that she’s decided not to delete the files about Victoria, she seems to feel lighter.