She also knew that people like that were very difficult to treat.
To start with, treatment of that sort was very time-consuming, both in terms of each individual conversation and the total length of the treatment. Sofia realised that her usual forty-five-or sixty-minute sessions wouldn’t be enough. She’d have to try to increase each session with Samuel to ninety minutes, and suggest to social services that she see him at least three times a week.
But the treatment was also difficult because the sessions demanded utter concentration from the therapist.
During that first conversation with Samuel Bai she felt the same thing she had experienced during Victoria Bergman’s monologues. Samuel, like Victoria, was a talented self-hypnotist, and his sleep-like state began to affect Sofia.
She knew she was going to have to be at the very top of her game if she was to stand any chance of helping Samuel.
Unlike her work for the criminal justice system, which ultimately had nothing to do with care of the people she met, she actually felt that she could be of some help here.
They talked for over an hour, and when Samuel left her office Sofia felt that the image of his wounded psyche had become slightly clearer.
She was tired, but knew that her day’s work wasn’t over, because she still had to conclude her file on Tyra M?kel?, and also needed to prepare for her fact-check of the child soldier’s book. The story of what happens when children are given the power to kill.
She pulled out all the material she had and leafed through the English version. The publishers had sent her a list of questions that they were hoping she could answer during their meeting in Gothenburg, but she quickly realised that she couldn’t give them any straight answers.
It was too complicated.
The book had already been translated, and her contribution was mainly going to consist of technicalities.
But Samuel Bai’s book wasn’t finished yet. It was right in front of her.
Screw this, she thought.
Sofia asked Ann-Britt to cancel the train tickets and hotel in Gothenburg. The publishers could think whatever they liked.
Sometimes acting on impulse is the best decision.
Before she left for the day she put an end to the Tyra M?kel? case by emailing the members of the investigative group in Huddinge her final conclusions.
That was really just another technicality.
They had agreed that Tyra M?kel? should be sentenced to secure psychiatric care, just as Sofia had proposed.
She felt she had been able to make a difference.
Monument – Mikael’s Apartment
AFTER DINNER SOFIA and Mikael cleared the table together and put the plates in the dishwasher. Mikael said he just wanted to relax in front of the television, which Sofia thought sounded like a good idea, since she had work to do. She went into his office and sat down at the desk. It had started to rain again, and she shut the little window and opened her laptop.
She took a cassette marked ‘Victoria Bergman 14’ from her bag and inserted it into the tape player.
Sofia recalled that Victoria Bergman had been sad during that particular meeting, and that something had happened, but when she had asked about it Victoria had merely shaken her head.
She heard her own voice.
‘Tell me exactly what you want to do. We can sit in silence if you’d rather.’
‘Mmm, maybe, if only silence weren’t so horribly unsettling. So incredibly intimate.’
Victoria Bergman’s voice turned darker, and Sofia leaned back in her chair and shut her eyes.
I have a memory from when I was ten years old. It was in Dalarna. I was looking for a bird’s nest, and when I found a little hole I crept slowly up to the tree. When I got there I banged hard on the trunk and the chirping inside stopped. I don’t know why I did it, but it felt right. Then I took a few steps back and sat down in the blueberry scrub and waited. After a while a little bird appeared, and sat in the opening. It crept inside and the chirping started up again. I remember getting annoyed. Then the bird flew off again and I found an old stump that I leaned up against the tree. I got hold of a decent-sized stick and climbed on top of the stump. Then I rammed it in hard, aiming it downward, and continued until the chirping had stopped. I climbed down again and waited for the bird to come back. I wanted to see how it would react when it discovered its dead chicks.
Sofia felt her mouth go dry, and got up and went out into the kitchen. She filled a glass with water and drank it.
There was something in Victoria’s story that felt familiar.
It reminded her of something.
A dream, maybe? She went back into the study. The tape player was still running. She’d forgotten to switch it off.
Victoria Bergman’s voice was eerily rasping. Dry.
Sofia jerked as the tape came to an end. She looked around, bleary-eyed. It was past midnight.
Outside the window ?landsgatan lay silent and deserted. The rain had stopped, but the street was still wet and the street lamps were twinkling.
She switched off her computer and went out into the living room. Mikael had gone to bed, and she carefully slid in beside him.
She lay awake for a long time, thinking about Victoria Bergman.
The strangest thing was that after her monologues, Victoria immediately went back to being her normal, focused self.
It was as if she changed the channel to a different programme. A quick press of the remote, and she was on another channel. Another voice.
Was it like that with Samuel Bai? Different voices talking in turns? Probably.
Sofia realised that Mikael wasn’t asleep, and kissed him on the shoulder.
‘I didn’t want to wake you,’ he said. ‘You looked so peaceful sitting there. You were talking in your sleep.’
At three o’clock she got out of bed, pulled out one of the cassettes, turned on the tape player and leaned back, letting herself be swallowed up by the voice.
The pieces of Victoria Bergman’s personality began to fall into place, and Sofia thought that she was beginning to understand. And could sympathise.
She could see the images Victoria Bergman painted with her words as clearly as if they were a film. It was far too immense to comprehend. But Victoria’s dark sadness frightened her.
In all likelihood she had nurtured her memories, day after day, over the years creating a world in her mind where she sometimes consoled herself, and sometimes blamed herself for what had happened.
Sofia shuddered at the sound of Victoria Bergman’s growling voice.
Sometimes whispering. Sometimes so agitated her mouth sprayed saliva.
Sofia fell asleep, and didn’t wake up until Mikael knocked on the door and said it was morning.
‘Have you been sitting here all night?’
‘Yes, almost, I’m seeing a client today and I need to work out how I’m going to approach her.’
‘OK. Look, I’ve got to go. See you tonight?’