Then she called out to him, pointing out a hawk hovering utterly still save the wild beating of its wings, a dragon in miniature, dropping down like a thunderbolt, and he did not think of these things.
They stopped early the next afternoon, by a thick stream of sweet water, almost a river. It was banked with willow trees. Fish swam in the shallow water, glistening over smooth pebbles. Tobias tried to catch them but gave up, then Rate somehow got one, fat and brown with rainbow shadows. There was a smell of thyme and wild garlic from the green banks. A good place.
Thalia went off alone to the water. She still found the sight of running water a marvel: Marith liked to watch her, gazing enchanted into the swirling eddies, feeling the play of the current on her hands or feet. But this evening he left her alone to her thoughts and stretched out on the scrubby grass beneath one of the willows, staring up into its leaves as the evening drew in. Rate and Tobias were arguing over how to cook the fish; he half-listened to their voices, thinking vaguely of his own woods and rivers, riding through them fast on a chestnut horse, taking Thalia walking in green hills, laying her down on moss and leaf litter that would tangle in her hair …
A shadow. Tobias was standing over him. Marith sat up and Tobias squatted beside him.
‘Didn’t wake you, did I?’ Tobias said gruffly.
‘Just daydreaming. It’s good here.’
‘Is it?’ Tobias looked around him. A smile crossed his face. ‘It is, at that, isn’t it? You forget, just looking at places for their strategic value. Simple pleasure in simple things. You look well, boy. Lord Prince. The girl suits you. Didn’t think you had it in you, to be honest with you.’
Marith looked at him curiously. ‘Thank you. I think.’
‘Happy, then, are you? Content?’
‘I … Yes.’ He hadn’t even thought it in those terms. ‘Yes.’
‘That’s good then, I suppose. Shame it took so many people dying. But probably good, yes?’
‘Yes …’ Content. He hadn’t felt content for a long time. There was a sudden waft of sweet, pungent smoke as Rate started cooking the fish. A bird called loudly in the tree above him. Content. Yes. He was content. Happy, even.
Tobias held out his hand. ‘So I suppose you won’t be wanting this, then?’
A small clay vial, its neck sealed with wax.
Oh gods. Oh gods. No. Oh, please, no.
‘That’s … That’s …’
‘Interesting, the things you can pick up once you know what to look for, when everyone else is busy running around getting supplies fit for a prince.’ Tobias tried to smile at him. Eyes shifted guiltily away. Had the decency to look ashamed.
Oh gods.
Please. Please. Please.
Help me.
I don’t need it, Marith tried to think. Not now. These last few days … Like he’d been through all the fires of a forge and been remade, burned away and scalded clean. She knows me, he thought, she knows me and she is still so bright with light, she’s known darkness and death as I have and she is so radiant and so alive. I could be like that, he thought. I could just … just be alive. Happy. Content.
Tobias was frowning at him. Trying to look hard and strong. ‘You killed Emit for stuff like this not that long ago. Come on, then. Here it is.’
‘Why?’ His whole body trembling. Help me help me help me. ‘We’re going to Ith and you’ll be rewarded … I told you … Why?’
‘‘‘Why”’ what? Maybe I just saw it and thought of you … A reward, like. For seeing off the dragon and that. Saving us all from burning. Killing a baby. Killing Emit. Killing all those men and women and children you killed.’ Tobias spat in the dust. ‘A reward.’
I can’t … I don’t need it … I promised her I’d help her. She was kind to me.
Blot it out, he thought. Make it all go away.
But I don’t … I don’t …
‘Don’t worry about the girl,’ said Tobias. ‘She’s better off with me and Rate. I’ve seen you, boy, remember. Seen what you do to people. Seen what you are. She’s too good for you.’
‘No … No …’ Marith bowed his head. ‘Please …’ Don’t say it. Don’t say it. I know she is. She’s radiant with light and I … I know what I am. But I can hope. Pretend. ‘Don’t say it. Please.’
‘It’s good stuff, the bloke selling it told me.’ Tobias’s voice lowered. ‘Your face, when you were killing people … I saw you, boy. Filth. Murderer. Monster. Demon. Disease. That’s what you are. You terrify me. I can’t let you go to Ith, boy. You know that. Can’t let you have power and command. I know what you are. What you’d do. Think of this as a kindness, like. ’Cause it is. To you and her and us.’
He dropped the vial into Marith’s hand.
There suddenly in Marith’s mind the image of a statue, its face so corrupted as to be unrecognizable, holding aloft a burden too damaged to be seen. In its other hand, a broken knife. A woman sitting weeping at its feet. Black fire, burning, running over it all. Faceless and broken and ruined and empty of anything. The Court of the Broken Knife, the square the statue stood in was called. A sad, hateful, ill-fated place.
A kindness, he thought. Oh, yes.
Chapter Forty-One
Thalia came back up from the river, where she had found a little beach of pale sand, her feet wet and muddy. She stopped. Rate and Tobias were sitting by the fire. They rose up when she approached and came towards her. Fear gripped suddenly at her heart. Tobias held a sword. Marith’s sword.
‘Where is he?’ she cried out. He was dead. They’d killed him. She’d left him alone and they’d killed him.
‘He’s alive, don’t worry.’ Tobias gestured to the wagon. ‘We’re not going to harm him. Or you.’
‘Fish’s ready,’ said Rate. ‘If you want some.’
She’d told him they were dangerous. She’d told him.
‘Look, girl,’ said Tobias, ‘there are two ways we can do this. I don’t want to harm you. I told you, I want to help you. I mean it. Yeah? So you can sit down here with us, eat some fish, ride along to Reneneth where I’ll give you some money, like I offered to. Immish is a good place. Actually, to be honest with you, Reneneth’s a shithole, but Immish in general is a good place. Or, hell, given Reneneth’s a shithole, you can ride along with us all the way to Alborn if you like, or anywhere else we feel like going. Alborn … now that is a good place. A face like yours and a sword like mine and the bit of cash we’re making, we could do pretty well there.’ He waved the sword. ‘Or I could tie you up and dump you in there beside him, and you can end up dead or whatever happens to him. Or I could kill you now.’