"It's not your mistake!" I shot to my feet and strode to the door, my skirts snapping at my ankles. There was no point rehashing old arguments and providing the same suggestions. We were getting nowhere. "I'll dine in my room."
I raced up the stairs and threw myself on the bed. Sulking achieved nothing except more frayed nerves, so I took out my watch and opened the casing. I could dismantle it by rote so I didn't need to concentrate. The familiar work soothed me, allowed me to clear my mind and calm my temper.
By the time I put my watch's innards back in the housing, I'd realized there was one way Matt could make it clear to his aunts and uncle that he wouldn't marry Patience. He could engage himself to me.
But he had not proposed, not exactly, and he wouldn't while he was so ill. He was free to marry whomever he chose.
While he said all the things I wanted to hear, I couldn't be sure which path he'd choose. It wouldn't surprise me if his chivalry and sense of duty overrode his love for me. It would be just like Matt to tell his aunt and uncle the things he knew they wanted to hear.
They had, after all, left soon after arriving.
Chapter 9
Once again, Matt had already left the house when I went down for breakfast. Once again, no one knew where he'd gone. When Bristow informed me, I got the most awful tightening in my chest.
"I already checked his room," Duke told me, pressing a cup of tea into my hands in the dining room. "His clothes are still there."
"He wouldn't leave London without telling us," Willie said from the table where she attacked a pile of bacon heaped on her plate.
"Or leaving a note," Cyclops added. "There's no note."
I looked to Bristow. "No note that I've found," he added.
That was a relief. I served myself breakfast from the selection on the sideboard but found I wasn't hungry and hardly ate.
Matt still hadn't returned by the time breakfast finished. I retreated to the sitting room, where waiting became extremely trying. I wanted to speak to Abigail Pilcher again, but I didn't want to do so without Matt. If he didn't return soon, however, I would go alone.
It occurred to me that he had gone to see her without me to avoid my lectures. That was more disheartening than thinking he'd gone to speak to Lord Cox, and I resolved to be more pleasant today and not even bring up Patience's situation.
My resolution didn't extend to Miss Glass. She joined me in the sitting room mid-morning and settled her portable writing desk on her lap.
"What an awful business about Patience," I began.
"Very."
"Do you think Lord Cox can be convinced to change his mind?"
She pulled out a letter from the desk and perched her spectacles on the end of her nose. "No. He's much too proud, so my brother says."
"Has Lord Rycroft even tried to speak to him?"
"He has written."
"A letter isn't enough. He must go in person and try to sway him."
She sighed and lowered the letter. "Richard does not grovel."
"Not even for his daughter's sake? Indeed, for the sake of all his daughters?"
"Not when there is another, more palatable alternative."
She meant Matt marrying Patience. From the sympathetic look Miss Glass gave me, I suspected she assumed that was the path Matt would take. It would do me no good to tell her otherwise. That was Matt's responsibility—and clearly he had not done it.
With a sigh, Miss Glass set aside her writing desk and came to sit beside me on the sofa. "I know it's not what either of you want, India, but it's the way it has to be. Matthew has a duty. He is not free. He must do what is best for his family, his lineage. Do you understand?"
"We've been through this." I looked away to hide the burning tears welling in my eyes.
"But do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Good. Matthew does too."
I whipped around to face her again. "He does?"
"He said so last night, right to Richard's face." Her features softened, and the wrinkles bracketing her eyes and mouth flattened out. "If you love him, you will let him go, India."
I opened my mouth but shut it again. I wasn't entirely sure what I'd been about to say, only that I felt I must protest. But my mind suddenly went numb and the words wouldn't form.
"He'll never be happy with you if he knows he could save Patience and didn't," she went on. "Her sisters too, don't forget. They're all relying on him."
"You put too much pressure on his shoulders."
"He has broad shoulders."
"Yes," I said, sounding rather dull-witted.
"He'll always blame himself if he doesn't rescue them," Miss Glass went on. "You know that, don't you?"
I ought to tell her there must be another way, that we owed it to Matt to find it and free him of his obligations. But I'd spent much of the night trying to find that other way and I couldn't. Short of Matt visiting Lord Cox and somehow convincing him to set aside his distaste of Patience's indiscretion, I could think of no way out. Besides, I suspected Miss Glass rather liked the idea of her niece and nephew marrying. Patience was a more appealing option than me.
"She is not a bad match for him," Miss Glass said as if reading my mind. "She would make a suitable wife. She's good and demure, and knows how to manage staff, host parties and further his career. She'll be a great asset to him."
The unspoken words being that I would only bring him down to my level. I looked away. I couldn't bear to see it in her eyes, mixed in with a little pain for me. She was not unsympathetic, but that sympathy was not enough to favor a marriage between me and Matt.
She picked up her writing desk again and set it on her lap. "My sister-in-law has won. She did look pleased as she left last night." She clicked her tongue. "I wonder how far her preparations are along already. It wouldn't surprise me if she has new invitations made up by the end of the week. There's no point changing the date, after all."
I gasped then choked, bringing fresh tears burning my eyes. I leapt up and would have made my excuses if I could talk without my voice shaking.
I got as far as the door and stopped. Bristow was showing the three Miss Glasses up the stairs to the sitting room. Of all the people I didn't want to see at that moment, they were top of my list. The only saving grace was that they came alone, without their mother.
I resumed my seat. There was no way I would let them see how upset the business of Matt marrying Patience had made me. I would never give Hope that satisfaction.
They filed into the sitting room one by one, led by the youngest, Hope. She was followed by Charity and finally Patience, the eldest. While they greeted their aunt with brisk kisses, Hope and Patience could hardly even look at me. It was understandable perhaps, considering Patience's disgrace and Hope's recent attempts to steal Matt's watch and to trick him into a compromising position. Of the three girls, Hope was the prettiest and cleverest, but those attributes had given her a diabolical precociousness. Her aunt didn't like her, and as charitable as I tried to be toward her, I couldn't either.