Focused.
Elian.
I looked up at the welcome sight of the man who stood beside the blanket, hands shoved into his pocket, staring down at my unwanted visitor.
He looked angry. But his mouth was smirking, as if laughing at his own private joke. But his eyes weren’t dancing. They were on fire.
He took my breath away.
Leo chuckled, but I could hear his unease. “Dude, I don’t think she needs to be rescued. Chill out.”
It was Elian’s turn to laugh but it was brittle and hard. “I am completely chill. But I’m here to spend time with her.” He inclined his head in my direction. The buzzing started in my ears, making it hard to hear him. My face flushed hot and I didn’t understand why.
My heart wasn’t a real, beating thing. It was a dead, pulpy mess incapable of feeling anything.
Until now.
Now it felt something. Something altogether new and raw.
Overwhelming and all consuming.
I wanted to reach inside my chest, grab ahold of the thumping organ, and squeeze and squeeze until it died.
It hurt. It felt good.
Leo held his hands up and slowly got to his feet. “I had no idea you were with someone. I thought you and Margie—”
“That’s really none of your business, dude. So, I’ll talk to you later, alright?” Elian was perfectly dismissive and he immediately took the quickly vacated spot.
Leo left without another word.
“Was that too caveman of me?” Elian asked, humor returning to his voice. The anger in his eyes slowly died until it was gone altogether. I screamed inside at its loss. I hated that he snuffed it out before it had a chance to rage.
I forced my fingers to relax in my lap but they instead curled like rigid claws. Ready to swipe and to maim.
“No,” I murmured, looking up at the man beside me through my lashes. He was beautiful in a way that was appealing to a woman like me. With a pleasing face that hid so much behind an affable smile. Dancing green eyes that looked sad.
He was a man who had seen and dealt with much. It was written all over him.
My newly tattooed skin throbbed in a dull ache. My sign.
My reason.
“Okay, good. I don’t want to scare you off too soon,” he teased with just enough bite to make me curious.
I licked my lips and gave him my attention. I knew he wanted it.
“I’m glad to see you, Elian.” He seemed to startle at my use of his name. It’s the first time I had said it. Out loud.
He gave me a smile, yet I didn’t feel special. He gave his smiles away to anyone and everyone who wanted one.
I wanted something else.
Something that was only for me.
“You don’t seem like the live music kind of girl,” Elian observed, watching me as intently as I was watching him.
“And what kind of girl do I seem like?’ I asked, flirting just a little. Just enough.
Elian smiled that faux happy smile and rested his arms on his knees, picking at a spot on his jeans in what appeared to be an anxious gesture.
He leaned forward, his nose brushing against my hair, his breath hot on my neck. “The mysterious kind,” he whispered and I shivered. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to. But I did all the same.
Elian leaned back and turned toward the stage, his head bobbing slightly in time to the music. Words were trapped in my throat, unmoving.
But I had nothing to say anyway.
“I thought you didn’t like music,” Elian continued.
“I don’t.”
He frowned but didn’t badger me for more information.
And I focused on the band all the while I burned.