Buzz…
“Hi,” I said quietly, giving him a small smile. He stood there, beside my table, staring down at me, and I knew he liked what he saw. I could see the pulse in his neck thudding just under the skin. His pupils dilated just a fraction.
“Whatcha reading?” he asked. His voice was clear and clean. I liked the sound of it. I felt it in my gut.
I slowly pushed the bruised and battered copy of Swann’s Way toward him. His hand came down to pick it up, fingers brushing mine ever so slightly. He flushed.
I didn’t.
He thumbed through the pages. “I’ve never read it. Is it good?” he asked.
I nodded. I didn’t give him the words even though I knew he wanted them.
I never would.
This time would be no different.
“Come on, Josh,” the older woman called from the front of the restaurant.
Josh with the smiling brown eyes blinked as though waking. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you around?” He posed the statement as a question. They all did.
I nodded again, my smile ever so slight. Just enough to give him what he wanted and what I knew would make him talk to me again.
“Okay then. I’ll see you later,” Josh said, his promise making me giddy.
I watched him leave.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Layna. Her smiles were rare but special. Her words were given only when they mattered.
She made sure to show you only what she wanted you to see.
She lured you in with her painful past and her even more complicated heart.
And when you loved her, you loved her with everything you had. Until you were broken and ruined. Nothing left.
Because that’s what she wanted.
All along.
She fought battles no one else could see. The dangerous kind. The kind that left marks and drew blood.
But Layna wasn’t sad. Long ago, she had forsaken shame. Trust. Guilt.
Love.
Now all that was left was a beautiful hunter. Soothing you with her coal black eyes and empty, empty soul.
Don’t be upset that you didn’t see how the tale would end. She wanted it that way.
Don’t feel betrayed because you thought she was different.
You were fooled by an illusion.
Because Layna was the girl who wrote the stories.
She was the girl who owned the stars…
I chewed the last of my seasoned fries and opened my book. My father’s writing catching my eye.
I turned the page and started…all over again.
The end was my new beginning.
“Time passes, and little by little everything that we have spoken in falsehood becomes true.”
-Swann’s Way-Marcel Proust
This book is something I’ve wanted to write for a very long time. It was me breaking out of the box. Going with my gut. And most importantly writing what I wanted to.
So first and foremost, thank you to the readers who gave this book a chance. You may hate it. You may love it. But most importantly I hope you felt it. Because at the end of the day, that’s all I really wanted.
Ian, super husband, brain storming partner, taker of all the bullshit. This idea was your brainchild. You sat with me and hammered out the details. And most importantly you told me to write it how I thought it should be written. No holding back. Taking this story by the proverbial balls. And that’s what I did. Thank you for supporting this and every story.
To my super, awesome sparkly daughter. You kept me company many days while I wrote. And you created your own amazing stories. These are all for you. And one day you can actually read them (not for many, many years yet though).