So, so strange.
“That’s exactly why I’m here. And now you’re here too. I hadn’t wanted you to see this. Not yet. But maybe it’s best you found her.” Was he talking to me? Because he wasn’t looking at me.
He was looking at Amelia again. He seemed to like looking at her.
I really, really hated her.
“Well, untie her then!” I said loudly. Mad that I had lost my father’s attention. Upset because there was a girl in the chair and she looked hurt.
But most of all bothered because I wasn’t scared anymore.
“Shh, Layna. You don’t need to yell,” my father scolded and I felt silly. I crossed my arms over my chest and stuck out my bottom lip.
I felt like crying. I hated it when Daddy chided me.
Daddy saw my expression and came over to where I was standing. He bent down in on his haunches in front of me and looked into my eyes. Coal black. Just like his.
“I’m sorry. I know you’re confused, Lay. It’ll be all right.” He hugged me, and I buried my face into his shirt that smelled like tobacco and spearmint. I could hear Amelia trying to scream. It was muffled and I wished she would stop.
My daddy kissed the top of my head. “Would you like to see how it’s done?” he asked. He sounded excited.
“How what’ s done?” I was feeling a little better now that I knew he wasn’t mad at me.
“How I’m going to send Amelia up to the stars.”
“How far out of town is it?” Elian asked after we had been driving for what felt like hours but was in reality only minutes.
“Not much farther,” I told him. Remembering. Flashes. Recollections. It was all coming back.
That night.
That night that changed everything.
“Right there. Pull in and park,” I told him, pointing to a turn-off hidden from view from the road. No one ever knew the house was back there. It was hidden away. For years it was our secret.
Until now.
Now I was sharing it with Elian.
Because he belonged to this place too.
“How do you do it?” I whispered, wiping my nose on my sleeve.
Daddy took my hand and led me to Amelia.
Pretty, pretty Amelia with the sad, sad green eyes.
Daddy turned his head up to the ceiling. As though looking at the sky. “Only in memories will she live forever. Only in the sky will she be home,” he murmured. To himself. Not to me.
“I don’t understand, Daddy,” I whined. I was tired. I was hungry. I didn’t want to be in this dirty, dark room with the bloody girl who cried and cried.
Amelia.
Daddy cupped my face and gave me an indulgent smile. “I don’t expect you to. Not yet. But one day, you will. One day you will see that memories are the only places where we can truly be free. To remember things as they should be.”
He had a knife in his hand. I hadn’t seen it before.
Then he turned away from me.
Away.
Towards Amelia.
“Park the car here,” I said. My voice sounded muffled. Slurred. I was here but I wasn’t.
I was lost.
In memory.
Elian turned off the engine and got out of the car. He seemed hesitant. He should be.
“That’s the house?” he asked, inclining his head in the direction of the run down building.
The grass was high, and the porch was sinking into the ground. It looked condemned. Not much different from the last time I had been there.
Many, many years before.
In my memories.
“Your dad left you that place? It looks like it needs to be bulldozed.” Elian didn’t get it. I shouldn’t expect him to.
I walked toward the empty, waiting house. Just like I had one night…a long time ago.
The crying had stopped.
The tears all dried up.
And the blood.
The blood was everywhere.
The blood was all I saw…
“I don’t want to go in there, Layna,” Elian protested, pulling on my hand. Stopping me.