“Ha!” I grabbed another pillow. “You’re evicted!” I laughed bitterly. “Surprise!”
“Wait, Reid’s evicted?” Max held up his hands in surrender. “That’s impossible, I own the building.”
“Me!” I dropped the pillow and kicked it with my foot. “I’m evicted, because I’m moving!”
“Right.” Max said slowly. “In with Reid.”
“I live with Reid!”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“And now I’m evicted!”
“Women confuse me.” Max scratched the back of his head. “Seriously, what was God thinking?” He glanced up. “One day we’ll have that talk . . .” He marched over to the kitchen and poured himself a shot, tossed it back, then faced me again. “Why don’t we start at the beginning.”
“He didn’t claim me,” I mumbled.
“From the sounds of it, he did more than claim you . . .” Max said under his breath. “But I digress . . .”
“And don’t play stupid; you guys found me a place.”
“For your things.”
“Exactly!”
“Which upsets you because you don’t want to keep your soiled couch and table from Ikea?” Max went back into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle, then held it out to me like I was going to grab it and slam it over his head.
I took the peace offering but didn’t drink. “It upsets me because he slept with me and now he’s evicting me, going behind my back and finding me an apartment, and, and, and—” I started pacing. “He saw me, Max! He really saw me! And we had one of those damn elevator kisses, and you were so right. It was amazing, epic, everything I could have ever wanted in a kiss. And now? Now it’s over with and we’re over with and I got too invested. And I’m working with him and now it’s going to be awkward and I hate awkward. I do not do awkward well.”
Max grinned. “Neither does your hair.”
I groaned and sat on the couch, setting the bottle of whiskey on the table. “Sorry, and here I am, coming over to your place, doing exactly what you said I’d do, losing my mind.”
“I said other things too. You seem to recall I prophesied a big misunderstanding?”
“Stupid, stupid, men.” I ignored him. “I hate men.”
“Whoa, there.” Max burst out laughing. “Hey, I have an idea. Let’s get back at Reid.”
“Huh?” I perked up a little.
“Serves him right for going behind your back, making all those big decisions without you! And he expects, what? You to be waiting for him at the apartment? Pining over him. Wearing sexy lingerie and wishing he was with you? I say, hell, no!”
“Hell, no!” I stood and thrust my hand into the air, suddenly liking Max a whole lot more. “You’re right!”
“I’m always right.” Max’s grin grew. “That jackass needs to know what he’s missing! Why don’t you stay in my guest room and give him something to panic about? Mess with his mind a bit before he goes and evicts you. Bastard!”
“Bastard!” I repeated.
“Great.” Max rubbed his hands together. “Why don’t you just get ready over there and I’ll help you pack up your stuff? That way it looks like you left him and not the other way around.”
“That actually makes sense.” I nodded. “Then it’s like I get the final say.”
“You deserve the final say.” Max nodded emphatically. “You’re a strong, independent woman.”
“I am!”
“R-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to me!” Max started singing and dancing around.
“What are you doing?”
“Sorry.” Max stopped dancing. “Got caught up in the moment.”
“No more dancing. It’s making me dizzy.”
“So you did drink the whole bottle.”
I held up my fingers. “All but this much.”
“So all but a half inch? Why not all of it?”
“I felt guilty.” My shoulders slumped. I was emotionally exhausted.
“Aw, little slugger.” Max wrapped an arm around me. “Why don’t you go down the hall, first door on your right? Sleep it off. I’ll go pack your shit.”
“Really?”
“Sure, what are Maxes for?”
“World domination,” I offered.
“I knew I liked you the moment I met you, Jordan.”
“You didn’t call me Jezebel!”
“Caught that, did ya?” He winked. “Off you go. Oh, and by the way, I’m leaving Otis. Hades doesn’t like dogs.”
“Hades?”
A goat was somehow summoned and began prancing down the hall full speed. A gecko masquerading as a cowboy rode on its back.
In a saddle.
“Kids,” Max said in a low voice, “I said bedtime. No more Phineas and Ferb. Hades, I’m disappointed—you know what that does to Little G! He gets nightmares.”
Hades, the goat, hung his head while the gecko stayed completely still on his back. Was it dead?
Max rolled his eyes. “Kids, am I right?”
“Am I high?” I asked in a weak voice while the goat shot a bored look in my direction.
Max coughed out a laugh. “Please. Hugs, not drugs.”
I pointed, “But there’s a goat and a gecko.”
With a shrug, Max made a little sound in the back of his throat, and Hades walked slowly back down the hall with the gecko on top.