Amy was staring at her. “Lish, what is it? Is it Fanning?”
Do you feel it, Alicia? Fanning’s voice was smooth, taunting. It was like an oily liquid spreading through her brain. Of course you do. You always could. Haunting the streets, counting heads. They are a part of you as I am part of you.
Alicia heard the sound then. No, not heard: sensed. A kind of … scratching. Where was it coming from?
She must come to me in ruins. That will be the truest test. To feel what I feel. What we feel, my Alicia. To know despair. A world without hope, without purpose, everything lost.
“Alicia, tell me what’s happening.”
I know your dreams, Alicia. The great walled city and its sounds of life within. The music and the happy cries of children. Your longing to be among them, and the door you cannot enter. Did you know even then, Alicia? Did you know what lay in store?
The sound grew more intense. The blood was throbbing in her neck; she thought she might be ill.
My Alicia, it is already done. Can you feel it? Can you feel … them?
Her mind slammed back to awareness. She turned in her saddle. Beyond the barrier of Amy’s army, the lights of the city shone.
Outside, she thought. I’m outside, just like in the dream.
“Oh, God, no.”
Sara was trying to make herself breathe.
A hundred and twenty souls were crammed in the basement. Candles and lanterns, spread throughout the space, cast odd, animated shadows. Sara’s pistol lay in her lap, her hand upon it, loose but ready.
Jenny and Hannah had organized a game of duck, duck, goose to distract some of the children. Others were occupying themselves with smuggled toys. A few were crying, though probably they did not know why; they were channeling the anxiety of the adults.
Sara was sitting on the floor with her back against the door. Its metal face was cool against her skin. Would it hold? Various scenes unfolded in her mind: pounding on the door, the metal bulging, everyone screaming, backing away, then the final crack and death pouring in, engulfing them all.
She was watching Jenny and Hannah. Jenny was terrified—the woman wore her emotions like a coat—but Hannah had a steady streak in her. It was she who had initiated the game. There were people, Sara knew, who were like this, the ones who could not be ruffled or else didn’t show it, who possessed great internal reservoirs of calm. Hannah was racing around the circle on her long legs, grinning with conspiracy, pursued by a little boy. Hannah was going to let him catch her, of course; she made a stagy show of her surrender that sent the boy into a fit of happy giggles, which, for a moment, put Sara at ease. She remembered such games, how much fun they were, their object so simple and pure. She had played duck, duck, goose as a girl, then, later, with Kate and her friends. But in the next instant, this thought was replaced by another. Kate, she thought, Kate, where are you, where have you gone? Your body lies in a bed far from home; your spirit has flown. I am lost without you. Lost.
“Dr. Wilson, are you okay?”
Holding Carlos, Grace was standing above her. Sara touched her tears away. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s a baby—he doesn’t know anything.”
Sara made a place beside her; Grace lowered herself to the floor.
“Are we going to be safe here?” Grace asked.
“Sure.”
A silence; then Grace shrugged. “You’re lying, but that’s okay. I just wanted to hear you say it.” She turned her face toward Sara. “You were the one who transferred your birthright to my parents, weren’t you?”
“I guess they told you.”
“Just that it was the doctor. I don’t see any other women doctors around the place, though, so I figured it had to be you. Why did you do it?”
There was probably an answer, but Sara couldn’t think of it. “It just felt like the thing to do.”
“My folks were good to me. Things weren’t easy, but they loved me as well as anyone could. We always said a prayer for you at supper. I thought you should know.”
From baby Carlos, a yawn; sleep was near. For a minute or so, Sara and Grace watched the game together. Suddenly Grace looked up.
“What’s that noise?”
“Station six. We have movement.”
Peter grabbed the radio. “Say again.”
“Not sure.” A pause. “Looks like it’s gone now.”
Station 6 was at the south end of the dam.
“Everyone, maintain readiness!” Apgar yelled. “Hold your positions!”
Peter barked into the mike: “What are you seeing?”
A crackle, and then the voice said, “Forget it, I was wrong.”
Peter looked at Chase. “What’s below station six?”
“Just scrub.”
“Enough for cover?”
“Some.”
Peter took up the radio again. “Station six, report. What did you see?”