She shook her head. “You can’t think of it that way. You’re not responsible for this. Look, someone has decided to kill you. It happened to Kevin six months ago and it happened to me a few years before that. You’ll make mistakes, because it’s impossible to know what is or isn’t a mistake until it’s made. But mistakes don’t mean you’re guilty for what is happening. Never forget that there is a real human being who decided to put his agenda ahead of your existence.”
He thought about that for a minute. “I know what you’re saying. I believe it. But I need to listen to you more closely—act like you, keep my mind on what matters. It doesn’t help us to have me mooning around like a teenager, worrying about whether or not you like -like me.”
“Honestly, Daniel, I—”
“No, no,” he interrupted immediately. “I did not mean to hijack this conversation with that comment.”
“I just want to explain. If you’re a teenager, I’m a toddler. I’m emotionally backward. Defective, even. I don’t know how to do any of this, and while survival is obviously the priority, I’m also using it to deflect questions I should be able to answer. I mean… love? I don’t even know what that is, or if it’s real. Sorry, it’s just… foreign to me. I evaluate things based on needs and wants. I can’t deal with anything… fluffier.”
Daniel laughed his funny heh-heh-heh laugh and all the tension bled right out of her. She laughed with him, and then sighed. Everything felt less awful when she could laugh along with Daniel.
He released one final chuckle, then said lightly, “So tell me what you need.”
She thought it through. “I need… you to be alive. And I would like to be alive, too. That is my baseline. If I get more than that, I would prefer to have you close by. After that, anything else is just frosting.”
“Call me an optimist, but I think we may just be dealing with nothing more than some semantic issues here.”
“You could be right. If we get a few more weeks together, maybe we’ll figure out how to speak the same language.”
He took her hand. “I’ve always been a quick study with linguistics.”
CHAPTER 22
Alex chose the gas station outside Baton Rouge based on the age of the cashier. He was eighty if he was a day and she had high hopes that his vision and hearing were past their prime.
Once she ascertained that he was paying her absolutely no attention at all, despite the fact that her thick makeup was far from convincing, she did some thorough shopping. More water, lots of nuts and jerky—any kind of nonperishable protein she could find. She grabbed some cans of V8, though she wasn’t a fan, as the convenience store didn’t have a fresh produce section. She acknowledged to herself that she would have to go to an actual grocery store at some point, but she hoped they could wait it out a bit longer. Every day her bruises faded a little more.
There was no drama at the twenty-four-hour Internet coffee place, either. It was near the university, so it had no shortage of late-night seat fillers. She kept her hood up and her face down, sat in a secluded corner, and asked for a plain black coffee without looking at the barista who came for her order. She wished she had time to do this from somewhere not on the trail to their destination, but the first priority had to be exchanging the Batmobile. It was currently her biggest disadvantage.
She created a brand-new e-mail account registered to a name that was no more than a random combination of letters and numbers. Then she tried to channel Kevin.
You should have left it alone, Deavers. You shouldn’t have involved a civilian. I’m not here to do your dirty work, but I took care of the little interrogator for you. Texas was a nice way to say you’re welcome. Enough is enough.
Not a specific threat, but plenty implied. She hesitated for a second with her finger over the mouse, the little arrow touching the Send button. Was she giving them anything they didn’t have? They would know by now that Daniel wasn’t among the dead back at the ranch. She couldn’t try to fool Deavers on that point. Was there some way she wasn’t seeing for this to come back at them? Could this make things worse?
She hit the button. Things couldn’t get that much worse, anyway.
As soon as it was sent, she was on her feet. The Humvee was parked in the alley around the back, behind a couple of dumpsters. She walked quickly with her head down, hood up, and a syringe in hand. The side street was mostly empty, just one small knot of people huddled close together in the darkness of a recessed emergency door. She studied the trio for a second before she climbed into the dark vehicle.
Einstein touched his nose to her shoulder. Daniel took her hand.
“Do you know where the night-vision goggles are?” she murmured.
He dropped her hand. “Is something wrong?” he whispered back. He turned to rummage between the seats.
“Nothing new,” she promised. “Maybe something helpful.”