Arden took the next day off work. She held her bracelet for hours, before removing the loon charm. Then she wrapped her bracelet in a Pennysaver ad that was shoved into her mailbox and hid it away in a shoebox in the back of her closet.
Arden went to the Lincoln Park Zoo to visit the animals in Clem’s memory. She walked the park and buried the posting of Clem’s death under a stand of sassafras, using her hands to dig a shallow grave. When she had finished, she walked to the bridge overlooking the zoo’s pond—the Chicago skyline framed in the distance—and sat, her legs swinging over the side.
Arden thought of Tom, the man she had just begun to date. He was the exact opposite of Clem: A businessman, urban and polished, driven by a desire for money and success.
The two are as different as, well, Chicago and Scoops, Arden thought, staring at the skyline.
That’s when Arden heard the familiar sound. At first, she thought she was hearing a siren. But, no, running across the pond, calling, crying, singing their soulful song, were two loons, right in the middle of Chicago.
It’s a sign! Arden thought. I made the wrong decision! I should have married him and had his children. No man could love me like he did.
Arden watched the loons take flight, wondering if they were already beginning to migrate south for the winter.
Clem will always be with me, but I have to let him go. I have to move on somehow, too, even if it will never be the same.
Suddenly, she stood and, without thinking, began to catapult the loon charm her mother had sent from her bracelet into the lake. But just as she was about to let go, the loons circled overhead and wailed. Arden stopped, retracted her arm, fell to the earth sobbing, and clutched the tiny charm to her chest.
*
Whooo-dooo-ooooh-ooooh!
Loons sounded their mournful wail as Arden realized she was still sitting on the embankment of the creek. She rubbed her knees, now shivering as she remembered falling, remembered all of this. Her tears made the sassafras trees appear to move, wiggle in front of her, like ghosts.
Yes, Mom, you were right: I loved him. And I never allowed myself to feel that again after that pain.
“Mom! Are you okay?”
Arden jumped and turned to find Lauren behind her.
“I fell,” she mumbled. “I don’t know if I’m okay … I don’t know.”
Lauren took a seat on the damp ground beside her mom, checked her mother’s knees and head, before laying an arm around her mother’s shoulder. The two listened to the burble of the creek.
“Wow,” Lauren finally said, “those sassafras are magical, aren’t they, Mom?”
Arden smiled, clenched her jaw, and turned away, trying to hide her tears, but it was too late.
“Mom? What’s going on?”
Arden thought of her mother’s words earlier, and suddenly the story of Clem tumbled out of her mouth, along with more tears.
When she was done, Lauren hugged her mother.
“Mom, I never knew. I’m so sorry.”
The two sat in the quiet of the woods, before Lauren spoke again. She started and then stopped before finally getting the words out. She started tentatively, “I want to change my major, Mom.”
Lauren took a deep breath and continued. “I want to be a painter. I mean, life is too short for us to turn our backs on our unhappiness. You and Grandma are finally teaching me that.”
Arden listened closely, before lifting her head and looking into her daughter’s eyes. “Business will allow you to be in control of your own life, though, Lauren. You will make more money than I did. And you won’t be reliant on anyone, like I was. You can always just paint on the side, can’t you?”
Arden watched her daughter’s eyes fade into a distant place. She nodded and turned her head, but she wasn’t able to hide her tears from her mother.
“Life is filled with difficult decisions,” Arden said.
Arden wanted Lauren to be happy, but most of all she wanted to protect her. She didn’t want Lauren to worry about money or supporting herself.
“I know,” Lauren said, standing up. “I know.”
Twenty
Beep! Beep!
Lolly honked the horn of the Woodie to sound her arrival at the supper club, something she did every time she pulled into the small gravel lot.
“The Rendezvous?” Arden asked, suddenly remembering where they would be having dinner. Arden had eaten at the Rendezvous nearly every week growing up, considering her mother loved it and—in the winter—it was often the only place around that was still open. “Really? Everything here is fried.”
“Except the beer!” Lolly chirped. “Best brew and perch in Michigan!”
The three exited the Woodie, and Arden took in the exterior of the ancient supper club, a dark, dingy building in the middle of the woods that looked like it had seen better days.
LVE MUSC TONGHT! a shoddy sign in the parking lot read.
“Did they run out of money to buy i’s?” Arden asked.
“It’s like Wheel of Fortune,” Lolly laughed. “You have to buy a vowel, or solve it, to enter.”
Lauren swung open the door of the Rendezvous, a waft of grease and liquor overtaking them.
“Are you okay?” Lolly whispered to her granddaughter. “You seem awfully quiet tonight.”