Arden smiled at the irony of his question, before turning to look out the window in an attempt to hide her disappointment and frustration.
“Let Simóne do that,” he continued. “She lives for that sort of stuff. She’s going to be our next feature writer anyway.”
Arden winced, as if her boss had suddenly walked over and slapped her. Out of habit, she tugged at her earlobe, a quirk that had started years ago watching The Carol Burnett Show with her mom. It had morphed into a nervous habit when she first went to kindergarten and was too scared to leave her mom.
“Just tug your earlobe like Carol,” Lolly had told her outside the classroom door. “It’s your silent way to tell me—and yourself—that everything is going to be all right.”
Arden kept her back to Van until she could hear him walk away. Van was—what?—a decade her junior and her seventh boss in the last decade? They all came and went, like pretty toy soldiers, putting in their time until the New York office called them up, or they landed at People, EW, or Entertainment Tonight.
No one wants to be a writer anymore, they want to be a celebrity, just like the ones they cover, Arden sighed.
“Mail!”
Arden heard a loud plop, and turned to find a mountain of mail already sliding across her desk. She walked over and began to rifle through it.
“Same ol’, same ol’,” she said, shuffling through press releases and early samples of celeb perfumes. A return address on a padded envelope caught Arden’s eye, and her pulse quickened. Arden’s desk began to rumble, and as she looked out her window to see the El screech by again, its tracks shaking violently, she could feel her headache begin anew.
Arden picked up the puffy package and nabbed a pair of scissors from a Paparazzi coffee mug on her desk to cut it open.
A little card came tumbling out.
Arden’s heart leaped into her throat. Her mother’s beautiful handwriting was no longer the looping, expressive cursive of her youth. Instead, it was jagged, slanted, hunched.
She read the card:
ALICE:
But I don’t want to go among mad people.
THE CHESHIRE CAT:
Oh, you can’t help that. We’re all mad here.
How’s the writing going, my dear?
Remember, we all must go a little CRAZY sometimes to find our happiness.
Hope you can visit this summer. I miss you and love you with all my heart!
All my love to Lorna Lauren.
Mom
Arden’s heart began to beat in her temples, then in her eyes.
Lorna? Oh, Mom, Arden said to herself, seeing her mother’s mistake. How could you get your own granddaughter’s name wrong?
Arden picked up the envelope and turned it upside down. A little box rolled across her desk. She popped it open and sitting atop a velvet throne was a silver charm of the Mad Hatter.
“Alice in Wonderland!” Arden smiled. “My favorite book!”
Arden studied the charm, placing it in her palm and rubbing her fingers over it.
Still with the charms, Mom? Still believe they’re somehow magical?
She thought of her mother’s charm bracelet, thick with charms, the one she never removed, the one that drove Arden crazy growing up with its incessant jangling.
How long has it been since Lauren and I have been home to Michigan? Where does time go? Arden felt a tinge of guilt and then her laptop dinged.
Deadlines. That’s where.
Arden picked up the card and reread it.
“Hope you can visit this summer.”
Her mother rarely asked for anything, much less a visit. Visiting home was tough for Arden, a lot like, well, Alice falling down the rabbit hole. It had not been easy for Arden growing up in small-town America. She had been an awkward kid, and it had not been easy having a mother like Lolly Lindsey.
“It’s not that she’s a bad person,” Arden said to the charm, as if it were a therapist. “It’s just that she’s…”
“Debbie Reynolds!”
Yes! Exactly!
Bigger than life. Always on stage, Arden thought.
“Arden?”
Arden jumped and turned to find Van standing in her doorway, his blue bow tie adorned with yellow boats twitching around his neck.
Wait. I didn’t say that? she realized.
“Debbie Reynolds is dating a twenty-five-year-old! Story’s coming now! We have an exclusive. We’ll need it online in less than fifteen minutes!”
“Of course,” Arden nodded. Van was already walking away when she called, “But when I’m done, I think I’ll take an early lunch, if that’s okay. I need a little fresh air.”
Van stopped, moonwalked back three steps, and checked his watch, before shooting a finger at Arden.
“Sure thing. We need you fresh. But it’s still too early. Make it a late lunch, okay? We have a lot happening today. No plans tonight, right? Or this weekend? That promotion to web news director is still up in the air…,” Van added.
Arden opened her mouth to respond, but Van was gone.
Two
May 2014—Lauren
Pablo Picasso once said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”