“We were in the house,” Kim said. “I never went to school that day.”
“I don’t remember that,” Emma said, resting the bag of chains on the ground.
“You were five,” Kim said. “You’ve forgotten it all. Mom told us we could skip and stay home until Daddy got back from the overnight. We watched TV and ate Cap’n Crunch, ate Cap’n Crunch and watched TV. When Daddy got home and saw us there, he went into the kitchen and screamed at Mom about why the hell we were home making noise when he needed to sleep. And you might remember this about Mom; she screamed right back at him, I want them close! After an hour Daddy gave up on the fighting and went into their bedroom, straight to bed.
“Mom came out to sit with us. She did your hair while we watched Card Sharks and The Price Is Right. Then she tried to do my hair, but I was sixteen years old. We weren’t…friendly. She almost got in a fight with me about it. That, and the fact that she let us stay home, should’ve been enough to tell me the day was all wrong. But I couldn’t think that far ahead. We were home, and after lunch I figured I’d go out and find my friend Shelby, break her out for the afternoon. After The Price Is Right we watched The Young and the Restless. Mom made me sit on the couch with her, and she had you in her lap.”
“In her lap,” Emma repeated.
They’d stopped walking. Emma and Kim had their backs to the girls in the swings. A peace had been reached. The girl who wanted to keep going had been promised a treat if she came down. Now the two girls held hands and ran from their mothers, toward the jungle gym.
“Mom made us lunch after the soap ended. Soup. It’s funny, but I can never remember the kind it was. It tasted terrible, that’s the most I know. Mom said I had to have it anyway. We ate it in the living room, right on the couch, and that was the third strange thing about the day. We weren’t even allowed to bring a drink into the living room, and now we’re slurping up soup during The Bold and the Beautiful.”
“We sure watched a lot of television,” Emma said.
“Yeah,” Kim said. “We finished that soup, as much as we could, and then I’m at a loss for time. Next I know Daddy is standing over you and me on the couch and the house is hot. It’s full of smoke. House on fire. That’s what Daddy says to me, so tired he sounds calm about it. Better get up.”
“We were in the house?” Emma said.
The mothers of the girls greeted the parents of the boy, and the adults became a quartet while the kids tested diplomacy. The girls were interested in whether the boy wanted to go down the slide with them. The boy, who hadn’t acquired language yet, clapped and smiled at them. At the tire swing, the eight-year-old finally flopped free onto the rubber mat, and now she moved toward the younger kids, wobbly and curious.
“We were in the house,” Kim said. “I remember the soup bowl was right in my lap, turned over, like I’d spilled it and fell right to sleep. Next thing was Daddy standing over me. House on fire. Better get up. I remember that part perfectly. But I couldn’t get up. Too foggy. Daddy had to do it. Small as that man was, skinny as a matchstick, but he picked you and me up at the same time, one over each shoulder.
“Once he had me up, I could see what he meant about the house. Burning all over. I couldn’t see anything. I started choking on the smoke. Daddy took us into the kitchen. And Mom was in there.”
“Did he try to carry her too?”
“Mom set the goddamn fire.”
Kim grabbed Emma’s elbow and squeezed it so hard the tote bag fell from her hand.
The parents by the jungle gym looked up at once. Even the grandmother on the bench leaned forward to see. The parents made a quick scan of Kim and Emma, the bag, then another sweep of the playground. Which kids belonged to these two women? Why would these women be here without kids? Kim could see both questions occur to the three mothers and the dad. Two black women in the kids’ park. Were they nannies?
“Daddy brought us into the kitchen,” Kim continued. “And Mom was there, at the kitchen table. She had a bowl of soup in front of her, half finished. She shouted at Daddy when he moved toward the kitchen door with us. She grabbed you and pulled you off his shoulder, pulled you into her lap. She held you so tight, I thought you were going to choke, but you were so calm. That was wild. I started crying like a crazy woman, and you just sat there calm as could be. I understand now you must’ve been in shock. Daddy shouted at her. It was like they were just having the same fight as they had that morning, except now the house was on fire, and we were all fit to die.”
“How did we get out?” Emma whispered.
“Well, Daddy had me already. He yelled for Mom to let you go. I started begging too, but I doubt I made any sense at all. Mom cried. She said she didn’t want to leave us girls as orphans. Better if we died with her. What kind of mother would leave her girls to deal with this cruel world alone? She gripped you close.”
“But here I am,” Emma said. “Here we are.”
“And it was you that saved us. You helped, at least.”
“Me? I was five.”
“Me and Daddy and Mom are screaming and crying, and the house is burning down, and you turn to Mom and you said two words. Let go. Just like that, didn’t even shout it, but we all heard it. I can’t explain that part. It was like we could hear you, I don’t know, inside our heads. And Mom opened her arms, and you climbed down and walked over and took Daddy’s hand. He took us outside. Last thing I saw was Mom with her head down and her hands in her lap. She looked so alone.”
“But he died,” Emma said. “In the fire, too. Didn’t he?”
Kim spoke barely louder than a whisper, as if she was the same young woman witnessing the old horror anew.
“He went back in. I thought he was going to get Mom out, but when he reached the door, he looked back at me. I saw his face. I always dreamed he was trying to tell me something, like from his mind to mine. Maybe I just wish it was true. I saw his face, and he looked beat. He grabbed the handle of the kitchen door. It must’ve been so hot, I can’t understand how he could hold it. But he grabbed the handle, and he went back inside with her.”
Kim and Emma sat on one of the benches. When Kim looked up, she discovered they were alone in the park. The parents must’ve taken their children and fled. Did the two of them look so monstrous? Maybe so.
“EMTs took us to the hospital to treat us for smoke inhalation,” Kim said. “We were in there for five days. Then we were in foster care until I turned eighteen. We lived with a nice couple, Nathan and Pauleen. You remember them?”
“Pauleen made the best oatmeal cookies,” Emma whispered.
“Yes, she did.
“I turned eighteen and applied to be your guardian, and that’s how we rolled until you finished high school.”