The memory of Lintz made Alex thoughtful. “Professor Gaze, what happened to Professor Lintz?” he asked.
She looked up at him, her eyes misty. “Oh, goodness… I don’t think he… Did he?” she said dimly, trailing off, her voice weak. “No… I’m not sure he could have.” Her answer was confused, her brow furrowed in uncertainty, though it soon smoothed out in an expression of quiet peace. She was close to the end now, Alex could tell; she had no more words to say.
Gathering around her world-weary frame, Alex let her rest her exhausted head on his shoulder as the two girls held her hands and Aamir sat on the floor in front of her. They stayed with her until the lights went out in her eyes. She fell asleep for the very last time with a smile upon her lips, and Alex felt a small, sad consolation that nobody would be able to tear her essence from her. It would go with her, sinking harmlessly into the earth where nobody could claim it as their own.
She could go peacefully to the place where there were eternal picnics on sun-soaked riverbanks, and all the handsome soldiers asked for her hand.
Chapter 35
“We have to go,” whispered Helena from the hallway, glancing anxiously toward the far end.
Alex looked up, grief-stricken. It didn’t feel right to leave Gaze all alone in the dank, dirty cell, resting up against the slick walls.
“We really have to go!” she insisted.
Forced to retreat, they stood and filed out of the prison cell, each bidding a murmured farewell to their former teacher, who had been strong until the bitter end. Alex felt an overwhelming swell of pride, interwoven with unbearable sadness, as he looked at her still form. A well-earned sleep, that was all; if he thought about it that way, it didn’t feel so desperately sad. She and Lintz had done so much for them, in helping them escape Spellshadow, and they had both ended up dead.
Even though Gaze had put on a brave face, Alex wished it hadn’t had to be that way. His mind rested briefly on the memory of Lintz too, feeling sorrow for the final sacrifice he had made against the Head, wielding his bombs and clockwork trickery. Although he hadn’t seen the body of Lintz with his own eyes, he had heard Gaze’s uncertainty as to the professor’s fate and knew it was unlikely he had made it out of that fight alive. They were both heroes until their final moments.
Helena turned the key quickly in the lock as her golden eyes flitted toward the shadows at the end of the long corridor. Beyond the flickering torches and dripping walls, Alex thought he could hear the scuffle of unseen feet. Brushing a tear from his cheek, he rested his palm against the wooden door, wishing Gaze nothing but sweet dreams, before they left her for the very last time.
As they walked, Alex could feel the tension in the air. Everyone was wary of Helena.
Though she didn’t seem to notice it for the first few minutes, Alex could see her slowly becoming aware of the strange atmosphere. There was no comfortable chatter, no easy humor, no jokes or divulged stories about the professor they had just seen; nobody was forthcoming with any kind of goodwill. Perhaps thinking it was because they were all feeling bereft, she continued to say nothing about it until they were almost at the door with the number forty-three written upon it.
“Have I done something?” she asked finally.
Alex held his tongue, not knowing if it was fair to tar Helena with the same brush as her mother. He needn’t have bothered to try to spare her feelings, however, as Natalie stepped forward, her mouth set in a grim line. It made sense that Natalie should feel betrayed; she had grown close to the girl, closer than any of them, and still Helena had kept her secret.
“Why did you not tell us who you were?” Natalie demanded. “Why did you keep such a secret from us?”
Alex heard the subtext in Natalie’s bitter words—why did you keep such a secret from me? He could see it in the glitter of her dark eyes, still rimmed with red from the tears she had shed over their beloved Gaze.
Helena looked crestfallen. “Believe me, I told no one about you. I haven’t breathed a word—not to my mother, not to anyone. I know you must find it hard to trust me, after learning who I am, but trust that I have been looking out for you all—all this time. It’s all I have wanted to do.” She stared down at her feet, scuffing the toe of her boot against the flagstones. The earnest note in her voice had returned, and it was hard not to believe her. Still, Alex could not suppress his suspicions about why she didn’t tell them who she was sooner, when she was someone of such importance. It seemed Natalie couldn’t suppress her doubts either.
“But why did you not tell us? If you had wanted us to trust you, you would have told us who you were,” she said, hurt bleeding into her words.
Helena looked up, her expression suddenly bold. “You honestly don’t see why? Any of you? I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to treat me like a normal, ordinary person. All my life people have tiptoed around me and wanted things from me. I just wanted you to know me—is that so hard to believe?” she said bitterly. “Besides, if I’d told you, you’d have run a mile! You’d never have spoken to me, let alone trusted me, if I’d told you the truth. I know you’d all like to believe you’re better than that, but the truth is… you aren’t. You know I’m right,” she sighed.
Alex could see the honesty in that, and he wanted to believe in her, but he was no longer certain he could trust anyone or anything but himself. It brought to mind Aamir’s words. A secret is no longer a secret, once it is shared. The only way to keep a plan private was to tell no one. It was a hard truth he was finally coming to terms with, for himself as much as for the others; the only way to keep everyone safe was to hide the truth from them.
One good thing to come out of so much negativity was the knowledge that the evening’s events seemed to have snapped the others out of their happy-go-lucky trance. Alex could see that the dazed expressions and easy smiles had gone, replaced with a keen intent to break free once more, their focus restored by Gaze’s death and the secrecy of their closest ally. Sabotage was the order of the day, and they were all ready to get going. He had waited days to have them all on board with as much enthusiasm as he had. He only wished they had come to it a different way, without anyone having to die.
The Chain (The Secret of Spellshadow Manor #3)
Bella Forrest's books
- A Gate of Night (A Shade of Vampire #6)
- A Castle of Sand (A Shade of Vampire 3)
- A Shade of Blood (A Shade of Vampire 2)
- A Shade of Vampire (A Shade of Vampire 1)
- Beautiful Monster (Beautiful Monster #1)
- A Shade Of Vampire
- A Shade of Vampire 8: A Shade of Novak
- A Clan of Novaks (A Shade of Vampire, #25)
- A World of New (A Shade of Vampire, #26)
- A Vial of Life (A Shade of Vampire, #21)
- The Gender Fall (The Gender Game #5)
- The Secret of Spellshadow Manor (Spellshadow Manor #1)