“Looks like Fintan’s not the only one courting!” said Innes. “I bet Charlie hasn’t got millions of dollars, though.”
“Shut up, everyone,” said Flora, although it wasn’t entirely awful to have things back to normal. They’d done quite enough hugging and talking about feelings for one day, and it was nice to be bickering again.
“Um, do you want to walk Bramble?”
“He’s . . . he’s out,” said Flora stiffly. She still hadn’t forgotten her conversation with Jan.
“Oh. Right,” Charlie said, and turned to go. “Sorry,” he said.
Flora bit her lip. She still hadn’t gotten to the truth. And for now, she had had enough of the farmhouse and their worries, and more than enough of the sleepless nights and bitter disappointment and horrendous self-doubt she’d been through ever since Joel had left. Absolutely more than enough.
“I mean, I’ll come for a walk with you. If that’s what you were asking.”
It was funny to think what a confident, bluff character she had thought Charlie was when she had first met him. He didn’t look very confident now as he ran his huge hand through his hair.
“Um. Yeah. Yes. All right. Yeah.”
“I’ll find Dad,” said Flora, grabbing her cardigan and ignoring the knowing looks and eye rolls the boys were giving her. “Also, shut up, all of you. And wash up.”
Agot came marching up to them, totally covered in a random collection of Flora’s makeup.
“HE BOYFRIEND?” she asked seriously of Flora. Then she turned to Charlie. “I’S BOYFRIEND.”
“That’s very nice to know, Agot,” said Charlie seriously. “And a very good evening to you.”
Chapter Forty-five
It was a glorious evening. The sun hung steady and unmoving in the sky, its trajectory slowed right down for the very height of the summer months. Flora had taken the lipstick from Agot’s sticky fingers—she’d leave it to Innes to sort out the rest—and quickly added some to her own lips. The sun had just about allowed some freckles to pop out on her face, and she’d realized that the near-constant activity since she’d arrived had helped to burn off some of the London office flab she’d acquired.
Charlie was walking next to her in silence. He didn’t seem to be the type of person who needed to fill every space with conversation, or silly jokes and observations. Apart from being momentarily flustered on the doorstep, he seemed . . . comfortable. Happy in his skin. The exact opposite of Joel, she supposed. No. She wasn’t thinking about Joel. She wasn’t. That was done. And this . . . She took a sideways glance at Charlie, his powerful shoulders, his strong, calm profile.
“Teàrlach,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to assume anything. And I might have picked up the wrong impression . . .”
He turned to her, still not saying anything, quite content just to walk and listen.
“But Jan,” she said. “What happened at the party. I mean, seriously, what the fuck are you doing?”
“They do say selkies get straight to the point,” said Charlie.
“Don’t change the subject. You said you were separated.”
“We are.”
“She . . . she says you’re not. That you’re on a break but you’re still together.”
“Well. We’re not. I spoke to her about it.”
It struck Flora that Jan hadn’t been in the shop in over a week. Maybe that was it.
“And? Tell me what happened, because this has been really gruesome for me.”
“All right, all right,” said Charlie.
They walked on in silence, and Flora suddenly missed Bramble terribly. It was nice, during awkward moments, to have a dog to cuddle and pet.
Charlie sighed.
“I’m sorry. It’s complicated. It’s been complicated. We run a business together. We were together for eight years. I didn’t want to . . . I mean, too much upset and it could have just ruined everything. In fact it would have done; it would have wrecked the business. Her father put up the money for it to begin with, and . . . I mean, her family, both families really, they expected us to get married.”
“That must have gotten tricky round about year five,” said Flora, but it came out wrong and didn’t sound funny at all, and she regretted saying it.
“It’s not that I don’t think she’s magnificent, because she’s a wonderful woman in many ways,” said Charlie stoutly. “She’s helped more underprivileged children than anyone I know, and she cares for everyone and everything.”
“So why did you decide to break up? What caused it? Did you meet someone else?” said Flora curiously. Most of the men she knew only got out of one relationship when they spotted another one.
Charlie gave her a sideways glance.
“Well,” he said.
“Well, I don’t want anything to do with it,” said Flora fiercely.
“No,” said Charlie. “No, I hadn’t met you. It was at Hogmanay. Everyone had had a few, you know?”
“I do know,” said Flora, remembering with some fondness the crazy parties in the square that went on throughout the night; the bonfires and first-footing and everyone out together. Her mother had never wanted her to go, but the boys had promised to look after her—which was absolute nonsense. Hamish would stand and grunt with his cronies, Innes would be after winching some young girl somewhere, and Fintan would generally sulk and refuse to go and declare it all bogus ruffian behavior; and Flora had felt so wild and dizzy and free, staying out all night in the freezing cold, passing around the cider and laughing until she thought she’d burst.
“Well, I was up at Fraser’s hoose, with Jan, and everyone was badgering me to make an honest woman of her, you know, as they do, and I thought, if I was to make an honest woman of her, I’d be making a dishonest man of myself. So.”
“But you didn’t say you were finishing it.”
“I’d like to present myself as a brave man, Flora. But I will say I am not.”
They both smiled.
“She went a bit mad.”
“But that was in December! It’s August now!”
“We still have to work together.”
“You have to tell her it’s over. She doesn’t think it is.”
“I know,” said Charlie. “I know.”
He turned to face her. Completely without realizing where they were going, just following the pathway their feet had taken together, they’d reached the headland. He looked at her shyly.
“You’re the person . . . the person who’s really made me feel . . . Well. That I have to change, that I have to move on in my life . . . the way you’ve moved on in yours.”
“I haven’t. I’m only here until the Lughnasa. I’m just doing a job.”
He shook his head.
“I think you’re doing more than that.”