Even though Ricky had moved next door in the later years of our life, he still knew Gran very well since he visited almost every day.
“I remember when Gran set up target practice in the backyard because raccoons were coming around and eating up all of her vegetables. She told me she never planned on killing one, but she liked shooting the targets to scare them. Well, one night last summer, it was the first really hot spell of the year. I completely forgot about Grandma Oakley shootin’ the coons. She hadn’t done it in a while, so it was off my radar. It was like three in the morning, and I heard all this shooting and yelling. I thought there was a murderer outside my door, so I came out wielding my broom like that was going to stop a bullet. I had it over my head ready to swing. The minute I saw Gran, I remembered her damn raccoon scare tactics. When Gran saw me, she screamed bloody murder. I felt terrible for startling her. I apologized for scaring her and she yelled at me, ‘Put some damn clothes on,’ then it hit me. Oh my god. I was naked, completely buck-ass naked.” Ricky’s face had turned a brighter shade of red as he laughed. “She was like, ‘I don’t need to be seeing that!’”
I laughed at the memory. “She told me you were doing a hippy rain dance in your birthday suit.”
“Well, I thought I was going to confront a murderer. I had to defend my zone, what would you have done?” he questioned sarcastically.
“Put my damn pants on,” Tammy answered.
I bobbed my brows at him. “Apparently, you’re hung like a horse.”
“Why, thank you, Gran,” Ricky blew a kiss out to the sky.
As we continued to talk and drink whiskey and coke, then just whiskey until the wee hours, I realized that we were a family. When the inevitably horrible day that may be lurking before us came, and Gran was gone, I hoped I would still have them, or I wouldn’t have anyone left.
“When she’s gone, I’m gonna be an orphan,” I said sadly, completely drunk off my ass.
“Oh, shut up, drama queen, you’re already my mamma’s daughter. What do you think she’s gonna do, abandon you? Please,” Tammy said with a drunken slur, “you’re her little white baby. We’re always gonna be here for you.” She leaned over and put her arm around me.
“And Rafael and I aren’t going anywhere. Your gay brothers are always gonna be right here, should anything happen. And, girl, Rafael can bake some mean casserole. You’re gonna be eatin’ good, I promise,” Ricky said as he jiggled his stomach, also pretty inebriated.
“I love you guys,” I said, my face contorted into an ugly cry.
I was so hazy and sleepy that all I wanted to do was go to bed. Tammy offered to stay the night, but I told her I was fine. I was too drunk to be good company and drunk enough to fall asleep, which I did the moment they left. I actually fell asleep on the couch, I didn’t want to be in my room.
I was startled to see Gran walk through the door that night. She seemed younger than I remembered her looking and had an angelic aura around her. My heart pounded. I thought I was awake, but wasn’t sure. My unconscious brain was having a hard time deciding what I was doing. But Gran definitely knew why she was there with me in that moment. She looked more healthy and robust than I’d ever seen her and was wearing a cheery smile.
“What are you doing sleeping on the couch, pumpkin? That can’t be good for your back.”
“I’m too drunk to move, Gran,” I confessed.
“Ah, found my whiskey, did you? Hope you left me some. I like a little nightcap from time to time,” she said as she danced around a little.
“Sorry, Gran. We’re probably gonna have to restock.”
“No worries, bet I’ll come home with some sweet pain meds, that Vicodin is like a trip to outer space. I really like that stuff, hope I get a lot of it.” she rubbed her hands together excitedly.
“Gran!” I scolded.
“Whatever, I’m old, the highs are pharmaceutical at this stage. Hurry up and get off the couch. You have to get dressed before he gets here.” She started pushing and tugging at me to get up.
“Who? What?” I was groggy and still pretty drunk and sleepy.
“Prince Charming will be here any minute, silly. Get off the couch so we can get you ready. You don’t want to meet him looking like shit, do you?” She had a fierce look of determination in her eyes.
She got me seated upright on the couch, then put her arms behind her back and whipped out the most gorgeous gown I’d ever seen. It was bright red with flecks of gold and diamond shimmer. The back would plunge to my tailbone, and the front was gorgeously contoured.
“Where did you get this dress?”
“From behind my back.” The sarcasm was real. “Now quickly, put it on.”
As soon as I touched the luscious fabric, the dress was on my body.
“Okay, this is definitely a dream.” I looked at her with a playfully discerning eye.
She looked back at me like I was crazy. “Of course, it’s a dream. What woman doesn’t dream of having a good man in her life?”
“Me, Gran. I never really dreamed of having anyone,” I sadly shared.
Her glance was scolding. “I know. That’s why I’m here. Now let’s get a look at you.”
The dress looked spectacular on me. It had a plunging neckline and swept the floor gracefully when I walked. I twirled, and the gown flowed and danced about me.
“I look gorgeous,” I said in amazement.
“Oh, hell, you didn’t need a dress to tell you that. Now, come here and sit down,” Gran said as she motioned for me to sit at the small vanity table in the foyer.
I sat, and she started to do my hair. Without a curling iron or any hair accessories, she whipped my hair into a lavishly regal style using only her fingers.
“Seriously, Gran, what’s with the bibbidi-bobbidi-boo?”
“This is some fun shit! Who knew.” She seemed giddy as she twirled the long strands of hair into an elaborate design.
“Yeah, who knew you were a fairy all this time? What the hell is happening?”
She stopped, her expression angelic and peaceful.
“Well, it’s not hell, that’s for sure. Maybe it’s heaven or a slice of it, I guess,” she mused.
I panicked and my heart began to race with fear. “Are you dead?”
“Not yet, dear,” she cooed.
“Oh my god.” I knew I wasn’t going to be able to handle any of this.
“Now listen carefully. I want you to find love. It has to be true love, like the kind of love I had for your grandfather. No bullshit. No assholes. I loved that crazy old fucker until the day he died in my arms. Find that kind of love.”
“Gran—”
She shushed me. “When you do find it, every morning you wake up, look at him. Make sure, despite his flaws and the things that make him human, there’s still a glow in your heart for him. There should always be a spark of fire between you. If you ever wake up, and that spark is gone and the fire is dead, you will know you didn’t find the right man. If you wake up and still feel that burning ember within you, no matter what happens and no matter how bad things have gotten, you will know he’s a man worth saving and worth staying in love with.”