I laughed at her to-do list. Darcy always seemed so happy-go-lucky, but now I thought about it, running her country estate must take a lot of planning and skills. And she was obviously good at it.
“Have you thought about going back to school?” Scarlett asked me.
“Are you serious? School?” I had so many bad memories intertwined with my college experience that repeating it was the last thing I would consider. David and I had met as sophomores and stayed together four years. We’d been lovers, business partners, and now strangers.
“I mean, if you’re not sure what you want to do. And now that you don’t have a job or a plan it might be the perfect place to figure stuff out,” Scarlett said.
“Why give up today to make tomorrow better when you don’t know if you’ll live to see it?” Having my business taken from me when I’d spent so much time and effort building it into something I’d been so proud of had been devastating. I was determined not to repeat that mistake. I’d sacrificed so much of my early twenties for . . . nothing. The past few years I’d been trying to get that time back—partying, living life in the moment, dating lots of guys.
“That’s a little depressing,” Darcy said.
“It’s just the opposite,” I replied. “I don’t waste all that time planning for things that might never happen. I don’t have a rainy-day fund, so I don’t have to spend time planning for a rainy day—that’s what’s depressing. Better to enjoy the sunshine.”
“And when the rain falls?”
I was pretty sure getting fired qualified as a rainy day and I was still having fun—now I was with Darcy and Scarlett. “I find a hot guy and have some wild sex until the clouds pass.”
Scarlett shook her head. “What are you going to do about a job?”
“I have no idea. Get another, I guess.” I had about three hundred dollars to my name, which wasn’t even half what I needed if I wanted to renew my lease next month. The problem was, waitressing was getting old. I was growing tired of the drinks after work and the making up for lost time. I just didn’t know what else I could do. I might have a computer science degree and a couple of years’ experience at running a start-up, but the last few years had qualified me for nothing other than being able to memorize the specials and carry three dishes at a time.
“Why don’t you come back to England with me?” Darcy said. “You don’t have to be out with me in the country. You could stay at the London house and wait for the clouds to pass for a couple of months. You never know, the city might inspire you to find your passion.”
I’d never been to Darcy and Scarlett’s husband’s London house, but Scarlett had told me it was like something out of a Jane Austen novel.
London could be fun, but there was no way I could afford to go.
“That’s so nice of you but . . .”
“The place is totally empty and it’s right in the center of things,” Darcy said.
I glanced at Scarlett, waiting for her to interject and tell Darcy it was a crazy idea and that I needed to buckle down and find another job, but she just stared straight back at me, waiting for my answer.
“I can’t. I have my apartment and I need to start job hunting. But thank you.”
“Didn’t you say that your lease was coming up for renewal anyway?” Scarlett asked. Was she on board with me just abandoning New York?
“You were all for me going to college five seconds ago.”
“I just think a change would be good for you. Maybe London is what you need—a few weeks to reassess what you want from your life. Since the start-up you’ve . . . With this IPO coming up in a few months, a break from New York might be good.”
“I’m happy, Scarlett.” I really didn’t want to talk about my ex. “Surely, that’s the most important thing?”
Scarlett smiled reluctantly. “I hope so. Because that’s what I want for you above anything else.”
My heart tugged in my chest. I hated that my sister worried about me. Most of the time she was completely overreacting, but today she’d caught me at a weak moment. The news about David had been a shock. It was a reminder of what my life could have been and had brought into focus everything my life wasn’t. I was feeling less than happy. I just didn’t know how to make it any better.
“I think you’re more cut up about David and this IPO than you’re admitting,” Scarlett said. “And I’m not surprised. I would be too. What happened was awful. He betrayed you and worse he got away with it. You had every right to take a time-out. It was perfectly natural. But it’s been four years and I miss my bold, go-getting sister who was ready to take on the world. I feel like he stole her, and I want her back.”
A tide of emotions passed over me at my sister’s words—I didn’t know whether to throw up or cry. I’d worked hard not to repeat the same mistakes I’d made with David and my business by not getting emotionally invested in anything, but something was missing. As much as I hated to admit it, Scarlett was right: part of who I used to be, a good part, had disappeared. I closed my eyes and exhaled, trying to stop myself from breaking down in tears in public. Once I had been the girl who was ready to take on the world. I wanted that person back too.
My sister’s hand covered mine and I looked at her. “I love you,” I said.
“I love you too, but don’t get soppy on me. You have to get over this guy and what he did to you, but you seem stuck,” Scarlett said.
I was over him, wasn’t I? We lived in the same city, but I’d deliberately made sure we occupied different worlds. It wasn’t as if I was pining for him, but Scarlett was right—I did feel stuck.
“Please consider going to London,” Scarlett said. “That way you’re not in New York when this whole IPO thing happens, and you can just get some inspiration, get unstuck, and figure out what you want to do when you grow up.” She grinned, always happy when she was reminding me she was older than me.
“If you’ve got nothing keeping you in New York, why not come over for a few weeks, even a few months? It could be a way of pressing the reset button,” Darcy said.
“You are always saying how you want to live moment to moment,” Scarlett said. “Except every moment seems a lot like the last. Why not live a few of your moments in London? You can come back reinvented. Violet King 2 point O.”
I hated it, but Scarlett had a point. The last twelve months, bouncing from waitressing job to waitressing job, hadn’t been fun, however much I tried to insist otherwise. I’d had to change the plan on my cell to the basic, and I’d eaten a lot of toast. I needed a change but going abroad hadn’t even occurred to me. Would going to London really press the reset button? Provide inspiration? Create a Violet ready to take on the world?
“Ryder’s coming back with me, so obviously he’s insisting we take a private plane. You wouldn’t even have to worry about booking a ticket.”
I chuckled. There was a whole world out there I really didn’t understand. Private planes were at the top of the list. But if I didn’t have to spend my last few hundred dollars, and some borrowed ones, on a plane ticket, the list of reasons why I shouldn’t go to London was running short.