Her home, which was once filled with the constant commotion of her best friend’s personality, was now empty. Renee’s bedroom across the hall would never again be filled with laughter, nor the stinky ballet shoes Samantha always complained about. It was funny how the thing she thought she disliked most about Renee could be one of the things she longed for most when she was gone. But in her heart of hearts, she never thought they’d be apart. Never thought she’d be more than a thirty-minute drive away from resting her head on her best friend’s shoulder.
Samantha grabbed the suitcase out of the closet and dragged it down the hall, determined not to think about it anymore. Sulking wouldn’t bring her friend back, and in truth, she was happy for Renee. It was time to face the sad reality that at the tender age of twenty-three, her childhood days were over. Her best friend was gone, would be married in a couple of weeks, and Samantha’s dreams of supporting herself through her art were fading.
She needed to come up with a plan for her future, a real plan—because making a living doing something she loved was a fool’s quest. She never believed it before, but after last month’s opening, she realized her sculptures were a fluttering dream, and when she came back from NY she would pack up her studio and begin working on a real career… The thing that would pay her bills, ‘something grown up and respectable.’
“It’s time to grow up, Samantha.” She squeezed her eyes shut as moisture threatened to seep from her faulty lids. “It’s now or never.”
She unzipped her luggage, muttering under her breath that she should be happy. She had a boyfriend who loved her. A hard working, driven man who’d been dedicated to her happiness since middle school. But there was a sort of loss that settled deep in her gut when she thought about this being the end.
Steven was her first boyfriend. Her first love, her first date. She knew all there was to know about him, and he knew most things there was to know about her. She loved all those things about their relationship. She loved the sweet expressions that came on people’s faces when they heard they’d been together since high school. She loved his stability. His dedication…
But there were times she hated all those things. Times when she longed for what Renee had. That sweep-you-off-your-feet, irresponsible love she’d seen in movies. The love she heard in Renee’s voice every time her friend spoke about her fiancé.
A soft breeze washed across Samantha’s face, causing the sheer white curtains to flutter and the tears to cool and dry in place on her cheeks. She placed her bag on the center of her bed, wiped over her face, then fished her cell from her pocket. She needed to call her best friend and break the news. It was late, yes, past one in the morning in New York, but the news would eat her alive if she didn’t tell.
She dialed the number, dreading the conversation ahead of her. Dreading the fact that she’d have to defend Steven’s choices—even when she wasn’t sure she liked them herself.
“Sam!” Her best friend answered on the third ring. “Hang on! Let me get to someplace quiet.”
Samantha nodded, thankful for her best friend’s fast-paced life so she could compose herself. “Sure.” She walked across the room, listening to muffled noises that sounded like they came from inside a bar. Laughter, clinking glasses, and chatter. She toyed with the tattered edge of her dresser, as her heart fluttered with anticipation of how this conversation would go.
“Hey!” Renee finally said, out of breath. “Sorry. Opening weekend, things are crazy here! How are you? Your dress finally came in! I can’t wait for you to try it on!”
Samantha smiled as the words flew from her friend’s mouth. Loving, enthusiastic, even so early in the morning. She sat gently on the side of the bed and took a breath. “It’s good! I’m packing right now, getting everything ready for the long trip.” She licked her lips. “But that’s actually why I’m calling. There’s been a change of plans.” She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping the action would give her strength. “Before you go all crazy on me—I’m still coming—I mean, of course I am. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, rising from the bed before she lost her nerve. “It’s Steven. He got an internship with Connor and Associates. It’s a dream come true. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—”
“Sam, what are you trying to tell me?”
Samantha cringed, biting her nails. “I’m coming alone.” The line went silent, and she could almost feel Renee gritting her teeth. “I wanted to tell you so you could change reservations.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“He won’t miss the wedding. Don’t worry about that!”
“You think I’m worried about the wedding?”
“Renee, this is a big—”
“Does this mean you’re driving here alone?”
Samantha looked up to the ceiling, trying not to let the tone in Renee’s voice make her emotional again. “I’ll be fine—”
“When did this happen?”
Samantha shrugged. “Tonight.”
“Tonight? You mean he gave you two days’ notice?”
“Yes, but—”
“Sam! I’m pissed for you! Who does that? Who cancels two days before a three thousand mile road trip? I can’t believe he’s being such a dick—and I also can’t believe you’re going to take it!”
Samantha rolled her eyes. “He’s not a dick, Ren. This internship is a big deal. He’s been working on it for twelve months. If he passes on this now, he’ll never get it again.”
“There are other firms.”
“Not like Connor and Associates.”
“So?”
“He’ll be at the wedding; that’s the important part, right?”
“It’s just… He always does this to you.”
A dull ache began to pound behind Samantha’s eyes, and she pinched her brow trying to ease it. “No he doesn’t.”
“Yes. He does. Remember prom?”
She threw herself back on the mattress, unable to believe Renee was bringing this up again. “Prom was five years ago.”
“You’re right. But Bali was just last year.”
Samantha closed her eyes, because until this moment, Renee had never said anything at all about the long-lost trip. It had been Samantha’s graduating wish all throughout college, her dream for as long as she could remember. But somehow Steven had convinced her it was frivolous. That it was a waste, not only of money, but of precious corporate ladder climbing time. They ended up in some stuffy hotel in Los Angeles, sipping flat, generic “champagne” and rubbing elbows with pretentious people who could “take them places.”
“He always puts his job ahead of you; that’s what I’m saying. It’s just the same shit. Him putting his life above yours.”
“I don’t see it that way.”
“And I thought he was going to propose?”
Samantha stared up at the ceiling, wild cattle taking over her heart again. “That was your theory, not mine.” She rose to her feet, walked toward the window, and pulled in a calming breath. “Honestly, I’m glad I’m driving alone. I could use some time to think.”
Renee paused a moment, silent in a way that told Samantha she was worried. “About what?”
“I don’t know. Life. Career choices.” Sam brushed aside the curtains and pulled the double-paned window firmly shut. “Maybe mom was right.”
“Sam, it was your first gallery, you can’t expect—”