Yes, her father had muscles. Not the body-builder kind but the tough working-man kind. I nodded and took a mouthful of my oatmeal. He also had really amazing eyes, and his lashes were long and dark compared with the highlights in his hair.
“She said her daddy was bigger, but I know he’s not. Mine is more handsome. I know that. I don’t think anyone has a daddy as handsome as mine.”
She had a point there. I wasn’t going to comment, though. I just kept spooning up my oatmeal.
“Do you think he’ll be at my birthday party?”
Franny’s birthday wasn’t for another five months. I had no idea what the future held for us and Captain. I had never lied to her before. I’d been honest about everything. Except, of course, keeping the truth from her about the reason we were in Rosemary Beach, but that had been a temporary omission.
“I don’t know, Franny. That’s a long way off, and we’re just now easing him into our lives. He could move away.” I’d heard he’d never planned on sticking around here for long. “He could visit you when he has time. I just don’t know right now.”
The light in Franny’s eyes dimmed some. I hated to be the cause of that, but how could I promise her something I wasn’t sure of?
“If he can be there, then he will be. That I do know,” I assured her, wanting to ease my too-blunt answer.
She smiled then. “I bet he’ll want to be. You can make a big, yummy red velvet cake. I love those. He does, too—he said so. I asked him. He’ll love yours. You make the best.”
“If red velvet is what you want, then that’s what I’ll make,” I assured her.
She seemed happy with this. Standing up, she walked over and kissed my cheek. “I’ll brush my teeth, and then I’ll be ready for school.”
I nodded, gave her a squeeze, and watched my little girl bounce off. I wanted her to have it all. And to her, Captain was part of that.
If only I could control everything in her life and fulfill all of her hopes and dreams.
? ? ?
Once Addy was at school and I was back home, I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top and decided it was a good time to clean the house from top to bottom. I was thankful it was Jamieson who answered when I called in sick. He told me he hoped I was better soon and was very professional and polite. I wondered how long his enthusiasm was going to last.
Not having to deal with Captain had been a major plus for me. I wasn’t sure if this would affect my night off, though. I knew he wanted to eat with Franny. I figured since he was still the boss, he’d make sure I was still off work that night.
Today’s plan was to clean and forget yesterday completely. Especially the moments in his office when I’d made a fool of myself by melting into him like an idiot. The way he had dismissed me so easily had felt like being doused with a bucket of cold water. After watching the way he’d treated women for the past month, I had thought I was smarter than that.
I didn’t blame Elle now. If he’d turned that smoldering, breathtaking intensity on her, no wonder she was obsessed with him. And he hadn’t turned her away, either. He’d taken what she was offering. My offering, however, was too inexperienced for him. Asshole. Womanizing asshole.
Once, I had been what he wanted. The fact I’d only been with him had made us closer. He’d been proud of it and made me feel special. Our eyes would lock across a crowded hallway at school, and we’d connect without words. It had bonded us in a way that ruined me for anyone else. I hadn’t wanted that kind of connection with someone else.
That had changed for him, though. He wanted other things now, and he didn’t want to teach me. Fine. Whatever. I didn’t need him, either. The only thing I hated was that his actions were tarnishing the memory of what we once had. I’d held the memory of one particular night close, and it had kept me warm when I was lonely. Now it was not enough. Or maybe I simply wasn’t enough.
Ten years ago
I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. Could others see that I was different? I felt different, and I could see the difference.
River had held me for hours last night after we’d had sex. Then he’d cleaned me up and taken care of my sheets early this morning, before pulling me back into his arms for a kiss and going back to his room.
I hadn’t been able to go back to sleep after he’d left. All I could do was smile as I stared at the ceiling, remembering every moment. It had hurt, but the way he had held me and whispered in my ear about how much he loved me had helped ease the throbbing until he could move again.