Looking into her eyes last night had been my undoing. I’d had to get the hell out of that house. Get some distance. I’d been so close to dropping to my knees and begging her to forgive me. Which might have been the best thing I could have done. But I’d been so emotionally raw I hadn’t been sure I could say much more.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket again to look at the simple text she’d sent, just so I could see her name on my screen. Addy. My chest constricted, and I took a shallow breath. She was here. This was real.
I had lain awake so many nights, imagining what our life would be like now if I’d only been there to protect her. She was my ultimate reason in life for fighting. Every battle I fought, every wrong I righted, had been for her.
But for what? She had withdrawn from me. I had let her down. I’d killed the guy she once knew. This was me now. It was all I had left. And I’d never be enough for her. She deserved so much more.
I had been out seeking justice for others while the one person in the world I’d ever loved or cared about was struggling to make it.
I wasn’t going into work until Addy called. I couldn’t. Standing on my boat, holding my phone close to me, waiting for her next text, was all I could do.
Eleven years ago
My parents had been screaming at each other for more than an hour. I held Addy in my arms as we lay on her bed, quietly listening. We both wanted my dad to do something, but he never did. It didn’t stop us from hoping, though.
When the door slammed, my mother’s sobs grew louder, and I thought we would be in for a fight, but then she screamed, and the door slammed again as she went after him. We were alone now. The silence in the house was as peaceful as it got around here.
“Do you think she should be driving?” Addy whispered, even though no one was in the house to hear us.
“No, but I can’t stop her,” I replied. I probably could, but that meant bringing her back into the house and making Addy a target. I wasn’t willing to do that.
“He’s not coming back, is he?” she asked, and there was fear in her tone. We both knew that if this went to court, Addy would be taken out of our home and sent somewhere else. I wouldn’t let them take her from me. Who knew what kind of situation she’d land in next? At least here, she had me.
“No, but I’m not letting anyone take you,” I assured her.
She snuggled closer to me and tilted her head up to press a kiss to my jawline. “I love you,” she said softly.
“I love you, too. Always,” I replied. And I meant it. I’d love her forever.
“Promise?” she asked
“Swear to God.”
That made her smile, and I loved making her smile. “Will you sleep in here with me?”
My answer was always yes. “Yeah, nowhere else I’d rather be.”
She moved her hands up to squeeze my arms tightly. “Kiss me, please.”
Again, another request I’d never turn down.
Her lips were so soft it made me want to be careful with them, but she always pressed harder, deepening our kisses, until I forgot to treat her like she was fragile. Her hands slid up my chest, as she grabbed fistfuls of my shirt and arched her body against me. Every curve pressed against me. The plumpness of her breasts teased me, because I hadn’t touched her there yet. Not really. But God, I wanted to, and the way she was rubbing against me, I knew she wanted it, too. She was ready.
In the darkness of her room, lit only by moonlight streaming through the one small window above her dresser, we were cocooned in our safe world. The one we created to forget about the evil around us. We didn’t think of our desires as being wrong. We had seen wrong, and we knew this wasn’t it. The feeling was too genuine. Our hearts were leading this. I’d been with girls when it was just about lust. I knew the difference.
Slowly, I slipped a hand under her shirt, and she stilled, her breathing heavy, as I moved it up and over her bra to cup her right breast. She shuddered as I ran my thumb over the pebbled nipple pushing against the worn cotton. I needed more. Tugging down the front, I freed both breasts and moved my other hand up so I had them both full. Addy rolled onto her back and let out a small moan that made my cock jerk in reaction. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she arched her back, giving me more, and I took it. My blood was pumping so hard I could hear it as I slid her shirt off and threw it onto the floor before taking off her bra.
Her eyes opened, and she looked at me with a mix of need and uncertainty.
“You’re beautiful,” I told her, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips.