“I’m taking college-level psychology at UTA this semester,” Cade said softly. “And my mom’s been helping me with case studies. I might be more qualified than you think.”
Shit. One more thing he didn’t know about Cade. He was such an asshole, and the only way to stop being an asshole was to stop being an asshole. Kyle sat up straighter. “Okay, let’s hear it.”
“You lost your mom early,” Cade said. “So you’ve always been a little wary of girls because you had no familial exposure to them. You always shied away from the girls chasing you on the playground in fourth grade at Summit, while I was trying desperately to let them catch me. On the rare occasion that they bothered to chase me at all.” He chuckled. “By the time we were in middle school, I thought you might be gay, because you looked uncomfortable with everyone and everything, and I wanted to tell you it would all be okay, but you quit talking to me. Then all these rumors started in high school and I decided maybe you were overcompensating for being overlooked before. A late bloomer maybe.”
“This is pretty damn embarrassing to hear, you know,” Kyle said frankly.
“I’m not judging. Get that through your head—I don’t judge you. I never have.” Cade glared at him. “I’m your friend. You may’ve stopped being mine for a while, but I didn’t.”
TKO to the guy in the Arrow T-shirt. Kyle stared at his hands. He’d done so many things wrong. Now, maybe, he could get some things right. “I’m sorry. Really. I should’ve been…better. At everything.”
“I don’t blame you one bit for morphing into ‘Kyle Sawyer, bad-boy wonder. King of the hoodies, duke of badassery.’ You had your reasons, and they were logical. Painfully understandable, to be honest.” Cade shrugged. “Besides, I figured you’d remember the real you at some point and come back. Shall we continue?”
“Oh, what the hell. Sure.”
“So now you’ve built all of this—meaning girls and relationships and sex—up in your head until it’s an Event, capital E. You’re scared to fail because you’ve been taught—cruelly—that failure leads to humiliation. That being sensitive, smaller than other guys, and dyslexic made you a target. Even though a lot of that’s changed, you’re still afraid to be hurt, so you either avoid relationships, or you end them before you can get your heart broken.”
Now it was Kyle’s turn to let his mouth hang open. “So you’re saying my hang-ups are Cameron’s fault?”
“And all the other bullies. And your teachers, not having your mom, and always being told to suck it up by your dad and your grandpa. I really do like that old man, but he’s pretty old-school. His solution to all this hurt you in the long run. Turning you into something you aren’t isn’t the best way to solve problems even if it protected you from the worst school had to offer.”
Kyle slumped in his chair, too tired to ask his bones to hold him upright. “Jesus.”
“So I’ve been told.” Cade whacked him on the knee. “Now, for your cure.”
“Can’t wait,” he mumbled.
“First, think about what scares you. When you started having doubts last night, what happened?”
“Faith…” He clenched his hands together. “Faith seems to want more than just revenge. Like a relationship, and she probably thinks I have that stuff down. Thing is, I’m pretty sure she’s a virgin, too, but she thinks I’m this great…this great…”
“Lover,” Cade said. “If you can’t say it, you can’t do it, man.”
“Jesus.”
“You keep saying that. I think that means He wants me to help you.”
“Okay, fine. Lover. There, I said it.” Kyle closed his eyes. Was it hot in here?
“Easy, take a breath. You’re fine, Kyle.” Cade tapped him on the ankle with his foot again. “Open those eyes. There’s no girl here to scare you.”
Kyle did as he was asked, pinning Cade with a hard glare. “I’m not afraid of girls.”
Cade clapped his hands. “A breakthrough! Outstanding.”
“You want me to be pissed with you?”
“Yes.” Cade leaned forward, his expression intense. “Because, man, you are one angry son of a bitch. It’s seeping out of your pores.”
Kyle clenched his fists. There wasn’t anything to hit, though. “Of course I’m angry. I’m an eighteen-year-old virgin who hides behind a costume to keep from feeling like hell all day long.”
“And how well do you think a pissed-at-the-world guy can let go and enjoy sexy times with a gorgeous lady, huh? No, wait, I’ll tell you.” Cade jabbed a finger at him. “Never. That’s your problem. You’re still so damned hurt that you can’t even see that people outside your house care about you. You think that you have to be someone else to be worth knowing.”
Kyle let out a shaking breath. “That hurt, man.”