“Should I not?”
He set his forearms on his thighs and gripped his hands between them. “It was I who chose the second woman to whom I was betrothed, and I believed I had chosen better than my mother. Lady Edeva had a good dowry, was fine of face and figure, and presented as proper—until the morn after our nuptial night when I discovered my bride had not been chaste. I arose ere my wife and completed my ablutions. Thinking to awaken her, I returned to the bed. Had I not approached her side, I would not have seen the vial amid the rushes that bore traces of the blood she spilled upon the sheet to conceal I was not her first lover.”
Laura did not have to imagine how that betrayal hurt, his ache crossing the space between them.
“I confronted her, but she said the vial was not hers and denied giving herself to another. Though I knew she lied, I resolved to make the best of our marriage. However, she was so unhappy that whenever she wished to visit her family I allowed it. But that last time when I was delayed in returning her to Lexeter…” He shook his head. “I arrived at her family’s home two days late and went to the office of the master of horses to arrange our mounts to be readied at dawn for our departure. He was there.” Lothaire turned his gaze upon Laura. “As was my wife.”
She waited for him to continue. He did not, and it took some moments for her to realize he need not. What he did not speak, his eyes and clenched jaw told. Though she had thought herself prepared for a painful revelation, she startled.
“Aye,” he said, “and I beat him as never have I beaten a man. Had I not felt a grip on my fist—surely of the Lord, for there was no other to stop me—I might have killed him.”
Laura shivered. “What of your wife?”
“The only hand I laid on her was in separating them. ’Tis true Edeva’s cuckoldry was the death of her, but it was not my doing.”
“How?”
“The beating of her lover was no quiet affair. Hardly did I have my mantle around her than her father appeared. Before I could get her away, he slew his master of horses. Had I not placed myself between him and his daughter, methinks she would have fallen to the blade. Immediately, we departed for Lexeter, though I might as well have left her behind. Countless hours I spent on my knees trying to forgive her—and perhaps there would have been peace between us had she not blamed me for the death of the man she loved. Edeva’s unhappiness became misery, her tolerance contempt. I could not even express concern over her wasting away without leaving myself open to accusations and physical attacks she likely hoped would cause me to end her life more quickly than she was capable of doing herself.”
Laura’s throat tightened. How she had hurt upon learning Lothaire had wed, having hoped he had not done so sooner because he still felt for her…thinking he did so only because he loved again.
“A fever laid low many at High Castle,” he continued, “and my fear Edeva would take ill in her weakened state was realized. Every dawn ere departing the donjon, I opened the door of her chamber and listened for her breathing. Then one morn I heard naught, and when I touched her shoulder, she was cold.”
Laura slid a hand over his two. “I am sorry. Upon hearing you had wed, I imagined you were happy. That you loved again.”
“I am not the fool I once was—at least, where love is concerned. Certes, a fool I made of myself with my second wife.”
Laura had forgotten he had not finished that tale. “What happened with Lady Beata?”
He sat back but did not pull free. “Though obvious she had feelings for Sir Durand, her father stole her away from the king’s man. En route to the church where we were to wed, she and her sire exchanged words that made me suspect they hid something. Ere the ceremony I listened in on them and learned that after Lady Beata’s cousin killed my father over a woman’s favors, her sire aided in hiding his body. When I showed myself and the lady refused to wed me, I reasoned the wealth she brought to our marriage was the least owed my family and threatened to reveal her father’s complicity.” He drew a deep breath. “No sooner were vows spoken than Sir Durand overtook us. Just as Eleanor arranged the marriage you and I will make, she arranged the annulment of my union with Lady Beata—all the more easily granted when I attested to its lack of consummation.”
“You did not oppose the annulment?”
“I did not. As it was out of anger I wronged the lady, I was grateful there was no opportunity of consummation that might once more see me sharing my life with one who loved another.”
Laura recalled Eleanor saying Lothaire’s marriage to his former betrothed would right another of his wrongs. Doubtless, Lady Beata was the first he had made right.
“I am glad you saw your error, Lothaire, though I am not surprised. You are a good man.” Further evidence was what Michael had revealed to her at Castle Soaring. “I understand you received training at Wulfen Castle.”
His eyebrows rose. “Lady Beatrix told you.” Before she could deny it was she, he said, “Aye, though Abel Wulfrith’s offer to better my knightly skills was meant as an insult, I set aside my pride and accepted. As you know, my mother would not permit me to be fostered.”
It had been the same for Simon, though finally Lady Maude’s stepson had sent his brother away. But it had been too late, proving the ruin of the sweet boy he had been.
“Thus, I received my training in arms here,” Lothaire continued. “I do not believe I was deficient ere availing myself of the skills taught me at Wulfen, but I am better able to protect those for whom I am responsible.”
Which now included Laura and her daughter. She smiled. “Aye, you are a good man. And worthy.”
He stared at her so long the weight between them seemed to lighten, then his eyes moved to her mouth, down her neck, and shifted to her fingers upon his. Freeing a hand, he pinched her sleeve’s cuff. “I like this gown better than the others.”
His finger against the heel of her palm making her shiver, she had only enough voice to whisper, “’Tis plain.”
He inclined his head. “The others try so hard to outshine your beauty they offend, whereas this one…” His gaze returned to hers. “…plays well with memories of the young woman I knew.”
She could not think what to say.
He pressed his thumb to her wrist. “Your heart beats fast.”
“I feel it.” She moistened her lips. “Does yours beat as fast?”
He raised her hand to his chest. “Does it?”